are the first 2 weeks really that bad?

[Emilyjane11]

Hi ladies,

I'm 33 weeks with dc1 and I think I'm finally coming to terms with labour and feel quite calm about the whole thing, but, and maybe it's me constantly needing something to think about but having seen 3 of my friends have babies recently, I'm now worried about how draining the first 2 weeks will be. I am fully expecting it to be hard work and tiring but 2 of the 3 friends I mention have really really struggled. I guess I'm looking for some positivity to help me on my way again.

Having this baby is allllll I'm thinking about and I think it's starting to show. Xx

Oh and fully agree limit visitors. The first day home ask for no visitors whilst you work out which way is up. If your DH or DP is off on paternity leave make sure you take some time to bond as a family...just tell potential visitors you have plans, you don't need to explain yourself. When you do have visitors they don't have to cuddle baby, if they do limit it to one cuddle each. Tiny babies don't like being passed around and I know it upset me when folk do the baby jiggle!

I wouldn't say 'bad' but they were incredibly hard. I found the overwhelming sense of responsibility for this time, perfect person absolutely crushing. She was so small and so vulnerable yet relied on me for absolutely everything, that was a very daunting feeling.

Combined with that was the physical recovery, again that wasn't dreadful, but I was sore and bruised and needed plenty of rest, which is hard to get at this time.

Combined with that was learning to breastfeed which I did find very difficult. My baby struggled to latch well and I thought that it would never stop hurting. It did, and soon became wonderful, but those early weeks were very very hard.

In addition to everything else, there was just an over-riding sense of the surreal. That the whole situation was so weird and so new as to be incomprehensible.

Finally, all those things combined with repeated nights broken sleep (late nights out clubbing, or festivals or pulling an all-nighter at Uni does not prepare you for the cumulative effects of 6 weeks broken sleep) worrying about whether baby is eating, sleeping, pooing right meant that the early weeks were a physical and emotional rollercoaster. Yet I still wouldn't say that they were bad. They were a steep, rocky, interesting learning curve and I'll never get them back, for which I'm half sad and half glad.

Best of luck, we all get through it in our own way.

The first 2 weeks were pure bliss. As were the next 6 months or so until I went back to work.
I was in a lot of pain for those first 2 weeks though. Birth was horrendous x

I think it's good that you are bracing yourself for hard work. I didn't really listen to such warnings so it all came as a bit of a shock. I remember thinking "why did no-one tell me" on quite a few occasions.

If I knew then what I know now...

• My lady bits hurt afterwards for a few weeks - I got something called feme pads from amazon to soothe that area.

• mumsnet post natal clubs in the talk section were fab for not feeling alone in the wee small hours. My kindle fire was invaluable for reading such threads without a light on.

• look after yourself. I'd not eat lunch until late afternoon cos baby was crying over lunchtime. Looking back I'm not sure why I didn't just grab something quick and let him cry a few minutes.

• breastfeeding hurt and was difficult (I really hadn't anticipated that - despite going to a workshop). I watched you tube videos for latch and read "The womanly art of breastfeeding". After a few weeks I started to actually enjoy it and still do at 7 months.

• hormones were insane and I was very tearful. My partner was very good and reassuring, maybe warn your partner that he may want to read up on what to expect!

• It feels neverending at the time but looking back it seems like such a brief period. It's hard to see that when you are in the middle of it, but try to tell yourself that.

• People say "sleep when the baby sleeps" - it's good advice but sometimes that's also the time you need to eat, wash or just have a minute to yourself. I think above all do not do housework and "non-you" stuff when the baby sleeps. Accept offers of help and lower your housekeeping standards.

• I used infacol before every feed. At first I wasn't sure it worked but the trapped wind def got worse when I stopped. I also researched burping techniques on you tube, not sure I ever perfected it though.

• I would do it all again so it cant have been that bad.

(and the best advice I had for labour was being told that my body would know what to do. Sounds weird but it made me just go with the flow and it was nowhere near as bad as I had anticipated).

Good luck xxx