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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Stressful job - off sick or take leave?

25 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/05/2015 07:11

29 +1. My job is public facing and can be quite stressful. I deal with people in difficult, sometimes emergency situations and can't always give them the result they want meaning they are upset and angry and often abusive.

I normally don't have a problem with it but am VERY emotional atm presumably due to hormones. Struggling not to become visibly upset at work. Last week I thought 'I need a break from this'd but had decided to pulled myself together and plough on. Only 9wks left at work....

Friday. I had a very traumatic experience. Won't go into detail as it will out me but it was truly awful. No sleep that night. I'm exhausted and upset at what ws the outcome.
I don't feel able to cope with work

What would you do? Take some time off sick? (what with?!) take much needed annual leave? (want to save it for when baby is here) Carry on?

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FlossyCat · 17/05/2015 08:03

Sorry to hear you're feeling stressed out, I would suggest taking a day off and speaking to your gp, maybe you could get signed off for a week? I work in healthcare and similarly my job can be stressful, most of the time I'm fine and can cope but there are times when it effects my sleep. Rather than ploughing on id suggest taking some time out to rest. Put yourself and your baby first. You may only need a few days to rest and come to terms with whatever happened and then feel ready to go back. You could also maybe think about going back on reduced hours? x

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 17/05/2015 08:04

I think it depends. Have they done your risk assessment? Even if they have they need to update it so you're not in risky situations even if that means putting you in a different role for the rest of your pregnancy. I'd try and resolve it first
For example, one friend who is a police officer was moved to the office, another friend who is an A and E nurse moved to another part of the hospital with less drunks etc.
Would you get paid if off sick? If it's SSP can you afford it?

FlossyCat · 17/05/2015 08:06

Ps. I'm 28 weeks so at a similar stage and starting to feel the need to slow down! x

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/05/2015 08:14

I am paid sick leave and holiday. Risk assessment highlighted stress as a risk factor. I only see people in a screened room now and won't be going out of the office after next week (should have stopped sooner really)

I was already struggling but Friday incident has knocked me for six. Not sleeping, no appetite and feeling sick and tearful. I think GP would sign me off tbh but think you have to be off 5 days before they will? Id feel happier being off sick if it was GP recommended.

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DimpleHands · 17/05/2015 08:16

I would take time off sick, at least for a couple of weeks and then see how you feel. Most GPs are very happy to sign off pregnant women who are stressed/exhausted (some will even write "pregnancy-related reasons" on your certificate if you don't want work to know that you being signed off for stress).

Too much stress can adversely affect a foetus - there are numerous studies that have shown this. I don't want to worry you here - everyday stresses will NOT hurt your baby (and in fact some studies have shown that a certain degree of stress is actually good for the baby!). But continuous very stressful situations - like the one you describe where you were so stressed you couldn't sleep, should be avoided.

You wouldn't have any qualms being signed off if, say, you were having to work with dangerous chemicals as part of your job, and I don't see any difference here! You are being subjected to a very high degree of stress at your job, which can also be dangerous for your baby.

I worked in a very stressful City job when I was pregnant - 12-15 hour days (plus commute) plus often weekends too - under incredible pressure from partners who really didn't give a damn that I was pregnant. I was too worried about how work would perceive me taking time off work for stress to get signed off but I really wish I had. Your priority must be your baby - in the grand scheme of things, a few weeks off work really doesn't matter that much!

SummerHouse · 17/05/2015 08:18

Take mat leave earlier than planned. You want this time with your baby of course but your health is more important.

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/05/2015 08:18

Abbey I don't think i can be given a different role. Im not police or A & E but work closely with them and with many of the same people in(the ones known to police, frequent attendees at A & E for drug/alcohol related problems). Not all clients are like that but even with the ones that aren't the job is stressful.

Seeing midwife tomorrow so will have a chat.

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Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/05/2015 08:22

Thanks for your responses. I don't want to start maternity leave yet. I just feel i need a week or maybe two, to feel better. Im sure i would feel much more able to cope after a total break. This weekend hasn't let me relax and recharge as I had hoped.

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g0ldie · 17/05/2015 08:30

I don't think you should need to start your mat leave due to this. Sounds a good plan to be signed off for a couple of weeks, take a break go back and review later. May be the prompt your work need to better support you at this time? Good luck hope thing get better.

Frasras11 · 17/05/2015 08:36

If you can't be given a different role then you can be suspended on full pay until your maternity leave starts. This doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, it's that the company are unable to make your working environment safer. It's the law and you mustn't feel guilty or feel that you have done anything wrong.

Are you in a union? And have you fully read your employer's policies? Risk assessment is a legal requirement too so you should have had 2 by now. One for each trimester. If you don't have a union and don't feel you can approach HR then call ACAS. They will give you impartial advice concerning your rights.

Sorry if I sound all ranty but I was discrimated against in my first pregnancy and it was awful. It concerns me when women are afraid to take what they are legally entitled to when pregnant for fear of discrimination. Especially when it is affecting their health.

Please take the time off you feel you need.

FlossyCat · 17/05/2015 09:53

A couple of other thoughts, is there an occupational health dept you can speak to for advice on options. Also, without wanting to sound patronising, maybe take some gentle exercise a walk or swim and make sure you are eating a balanced diet to look after your mental / physical health. Hope you take some time out to recharge x

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/05/2015 12:27

I am in a Union but th they haven't the best reputation in this field. I'm not in the habit of being stressed/emotional etc, but the combination of factors here is overwhelming. I feel a bit pathetic tbh. I am fairly active and have spent the morning outside, it really does help keep me sane. Thanks.

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Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/05/2015 04:28

I spoke to work yesterday and explained my situation a bit and am going in today. I'm in quite a bit of pain with pgp probably due to the events on Friday. And still not sleeping although I managed a couple of hours last night. Wide awake now though.

Not sure if speaking to them was the right thing but we'll see. Will try to see GP this week.

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Kilicat · 18/05/2015 06:59

My GP signed me off for stress for two weeks earlier on in my pregnancy - she was quite happy to do so (in fact it was her suggestion). Was the best thing I did as after that time off I have been feeling so much better since and enjoying my pregnancy much more, and I am sure it has been much better for the baby as well!

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/05/2015 07:09

Thanks kilicat I'm just a bit unsure how to proceed. I'm not sleeping and am very tearful. But if I go to the GP what do I say? I'm not coping well at work? I imagine I'll still be tired and tearful at home but at least I can be that way in peace, without constant phonecalls and interviews with people. I'm not looking forward to seeing my colleagues who are lovely but WILL offer sympathy which I won't cope with either.

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FlossyCat · 18/05/2015 07:21

Morning nottalotta, you just need to explain to your gp that you're 29 weeks, you've been under a lot of stress at work, you're finding it difficult to cope, you're having difficulty sleeping and you're very tearful, would they consider signing you off. Many surgeries do telephone appointments so you may not even need to go in, usually best to phone early when they open if possible.

Timeforabiscuit · 18/05/2015 07:26

What flossy said, its sounds like you've been knocked for six.

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/05/2015 07:27

Thanks flossy I wasn't sure if asking to be signed off was the right thing to do? I have had a call back from my GP before. I need to get the whooping cough jab too so Will probably go in to the surgery. I keep getting flashbacks to Friday, i really don't know how I'm going to manage it. I'm trying not to think about it so as not to get upset, because I'm worried about the stress on the baby. But equally I don't think burying it away Will help.

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FlossyCat · 18/05/2015 12:57

Thanks you've just reminded me to book in for whooping cough (have terrible baby brain!). It would most likely be a nurse giving you the injection so you would probably need a separate gp appt.
Burying things is not usually the best idea, a few years ago when not pregnant I tried ploughing on at work when under a lot of stress and ended up having panic attacks - should have taken time out in hindsight. Could you have a debrief with work about what happened?

Mrscog · 18/05/2015 13:06

I would get signed off for a couple of weeks. I had 3.5 weeks off when I was pg with DC2 after a hugely stressful time, and what looked like the start of antenatal depression/anxiety. It really did the world of good, and my GP was more than happy to help (I started with 2 weeks off, and then had another 10 days).

Bex174 · 18/05/2015 21:41

Can you ask your GP not to sign you off, but instead state "amended duties" with the stipulation being to avoid potential stressful situations? Perhaps if there is another type of job you feel better able to do at the moment the GP could suggest that as an acceptable alternative?

That way you won't be signed off sick, your work has to either abide by the 'amended duties' or sign you off to garden leave.

This is what I have done. My job is extremely demanding and involves global travel. Initially I had agreed after risk assessment to just European 1-2 day trips but I started experiencing bouts of low blood pressure and faint spells and it finally got the better of me. I spoke to my GP who wrote 'amended duties - can work from home, minimise travel' so that my work didn't see this as a sickness sign off and force me to start my mat leave early (which they can do when you're a certain number of weeks away from your due date). My work accommodated my needs and things are going really well now and still working from home a couple of months on

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/05/2015 05:32

I honestly don't think there is any way they can amend my duties. I work in the public sector, front line. Yesterday I had lots of case work to do so went and found a quiet room and got on with it, but I can't do that every day. 1 day per week max. Even then I was still chased when I just really needed to be left alone. I cried about 6 times.

OP posts:

Mrscog · 19/05/2015 10:08

You can't be forced to go on ML until 36 weeks, which is a way off. When were you planning on starting ML? Are you taking any AL first?

If you're 29 weeks, take a couple of weeks off, go back around 31 weeks, and then see how you get on after a break. It might just be what you need.

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/05/2015 18:05

Thanks mrscog Maternity planned - my last day I will be 37+6. It can change obviously but that what i hoped to do. I think you are right and I really feel a break now will mean i can go to that date rather than cave in in a week or two.

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Mrscog · 19/05/2015 20:48

Definitely, my 3.5 weeks off did me so much good. In my case I was really not good at all. I spent the whole of the first week lying in bed feeling slightly dead inside wondering what the hell had just happened (had a really stressful few months before), then slowly came back to life over the next couple of weeks.

Even if you have to start maternity leave slightly earlier in the end, it should hopefully boost you for a while. :)

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