Oh what have I done? Hand holding needed please

[Donnakim]

After TTC for the past year, I am now pregnant with our first DC. I'm only at 6 weeks and suffering with crippling nausea. When it hits I cannot do anything but lie down and wait for it to pass. This week, we were meant to be going away on holiday with friends but decided a while back not to go in case we did succeed in getting pregnant. I've spent most of the week either in bed or on the sofa. DH had planned for us to go and do all sorts of lovely things and I couldn't do any of them. He has been great about it all, but I keep worrying he is going to get fed up with me. He has gone out now to cancel tomorrow's dinner plans with friends which we only made a few hours ago.

Tomorrow I should be back to work. I have cancelled a meeting away as I'm terrified of a) the travel and b) getting through the two days. I have just thrown a lovely roast dinner in the bin, barely touched, and haven't eaten a proper meal in a week. DH went out and bought the ingredients this morning especially for me as that was what I wanted. He's now put in some baked potatoes but I doubt I will be able to eat them, but I have to eat something.

WTAF am I supposed to do?! I can't go on like this, have I made a mistake? I'm sat her wearing stupid seabands which have just given me sore wrists, drinking ginger beer which is giving my IBS a run for its money and crying. Was I stupid getting pregnant at 32, am I too old and my body is telling me it can't do this?

Sorry for the rant but I have no idea what to do

Donnakim You poor thing - it is wretched to feel so sick all the time and with all of the early pregnancy hormones rampaging around too, it can make you feel absolutely awful. I had awful nausea too and it really is the pits.

You can do this - I am in my late 30s and expecting my first baby - you are not too old at all.

I found ginger beer, dry cream crackers and ice lollies helped me with my nausea but go and see your GP too - I am sure they will be able to give you something that will help you feel a little more human. And just eat what you can - if you spend the first 3 months eating bread and butter and orange calippos (Me again!) then so be it - that's what pregnancy multivits are for.

I hope you are soon feeling better.

No specific advice because I was lucky and only had fairly mild nausea and food aversions in the first trimester. I did live mostly on toast and I did have lots of migraines though which were truly unpleasant, so I do have sympathy!

Just wanted to say hang in there! I think it's normal to think "omg what have I done?!?". Hopefully it will pass! Go to the doctors for some anti sickness medication.

Are you taking early pregnancy vitamins? I was once told by a midwife that these can make sickness worse and to just use folic acid to see if it was the case. It did help. I found iron was the thing I couldn't stand. If your healthy otherwise then maybe give it a try?

32? You kids get off my lawn! I'm 40 and at 29+5.

Sorry but the box of crackers thing never worked for me. I would just get out of bed and puke them up.
It was much easier to get up, get all the dry heaving out of the way whilst in the shower and then eat breakfast.

I could have written the same message during my early pregnancy. I just felt rotten and like I was turning into a horrible wife because I couldn't do anything.

The good news is it gets better but I know that doesn't help when you're staring at a toilet bowl for the 5th time that day.

What worked for me was trying to stick to a low gi diet. I found that all the typical comfort foods made things worse i.e. mash potatoes, white toast etc so I had different options like sweet potatoes (which REALLY helped me) and I ate only what I fancied and when I fancied them so if that meant I wanted cereal for dinner then that's what I had.

I too ttc for a year so I know the feeling of being desperate to hold your child in your arms and I'm now 24 weeks into my pregnancy and can't wait to meet my baby. However I will say this your feelings toward pregnancy do not reflect your feelings towards your baby.

And by the way I'm sure you dh if he's anything like mine is just thinking thank god she's the one whose pregnant and not me!

I had the same at 25. Its not your age. My only tip is to take something you can be sick into everywhere and speak to your GP.

Certainly eating in the morning didn't help, I'd roll over in bed and puke straight into the bucket at the side of it.

Sorry you are having such a terrible time OP! I would agree with two points other posters have made:

• you are not too old and your illness is not due to your age. Some women get very sick and some don't, it's nothing to do with how old you are when you get pregnant. I'm 31 and have a friend same age, both pregnant with our first, I haven't thrown up once and she could barely ride in a moving vehicle without a sick bag in first trimester. Luck (or bad luck) of the draw really.

• it sounds like you have something more serious than just typical morning sickness and I'd suggest you make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible.

I had a total loss of appetite and food aversion in my first trimester, and the advice I got was to eat whatever I could stomach. In my case that was crackers, cereal, toast, and other carby stuff, and very cold drinks. I couldn't handle the sight or smell of meat, like you. Don't stress about it, let DH eat it!

It's definitely not your age. I'm 36 and a first timer and (sorry to rub it in) but I've had no sickness/nausea whatsoever!

However, in your position, just keep reminding yourself that it IS temporary and it WILL pass.

I didn't feel sick, but generally tired and de-energised in the first tri. By 12 weeks though I was full of energy and felt as fit as a fiddle! You've just got to ride out the tricky bit. People will be very understanding. Keep taking vitamins, especially if you're not eating. You'll be fine and hopefully you'll make up for it by devouring everything in sight in a few weeks' time!

So true that nothing (or no one) prepares you for the reality! My sister gave me the advice not to plan meals ahead in the early weeks, even if it means going to the supermarket daily to get something that doesn't repulse you, and don't feel bad about living on baked potatoes!

Also I felt guilty about not being excited about being pregnant (despite it being a wanted baby), but try not to, you haven't made a mistake, it's just pretty difficult to get excited about anything when you feel so rough. The excitement will come when you start feeling better!

Hopefully it passes soon!

Too old? I was 33 when pg with first and am now 37 with pg2! It's horrid but as you get further on the carrot of the finished baby does seem worth the stick of the nausea.

I used to cry to my dh about the exhaustion and nausea. I know it doesn't feel like it now but it will pass. I had to laugh at the too old comment. I'm 40 next week and expecting dc1 in October. 32? Whipper snapper!

I pretty much hated the first trimester, and I didn't really have it bad at all compared to some people (just nausea, exhaustion and weird headaches – no actual sickness). Now I'm at 23 weeks, it feels like a tiny, insignificant period – but the reason it freaked me out at the time was because I didn't know when, or indeed whether, it would end.

I know everyone is different, but it will probably will get better, and quite soon. Also 32 is young! I am 36.

Another thing I always thought was that although I understand why people say "it'll be worth it for the lovely baby", if you've never had a baby before you don't actually know for sure that it's going to be wonderful – whatever the rest of the world's enthusiasm for child rearing seems to suggest. It's not like when you're going through a hellish time at work and you can think "it'll be worth it when I finally get to go on holiday at the end" – at least you know a holiday is definitely going to be nice!

I've had morning sickness in all three of my pregnancies (and was in my 20s) and tbh the only thing that helped was drugs! Please go and see your GP, you can take things that will help

Listen to your body, rest up. It's awful at the time but try and remember it's not forever. I was the same from about 5 weeks until just a couple of weeks ago. I cried all the time as I felt like I was useless and hated being pregnant. The doctor gave me medication for the sickness and nausea and I genuinely feel a lot better. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Hope it passes for you soon xxx

Firstly, congratulations!
I could have wrote your post at 6 weeks, well that's when my extreme sickness started. My pg was very much planned after mmc last year (I swore I would never complain about any symptoms if we did get pg again... pfft!!) But over the last 8 weeks I have questioned why on earth I have put myself through this! (Totally normal feeling and it does pass... especially when you get to your scan :) ) I was given all the usual have you tried this that and other (ginger, regular small meals, mints, fizzy water, sea bands, sleep, lemon water etc) and nothing worked. By the time I plucked up the courage to go to the GP I had lost a stone and was vomiting blood... so my advice is get yourself there ASAP! They won't think you are over reacting and will be able to help. In the end I needed time off work but at 14 weeks I am starting to get better and feeling much more positive. You don't have to battle through this on your own, get help :) My one thing I would tell you to try if you can't keep water down is lucozade! Absolute life saver for me. Good luck and hope you get some help so you can try and enjoy your pregnancy :)

It's not your age. When I was in hospital with Hyperemisis age 37, and 17 year old came in with it too. Her parents thought she had appendicitis and had no idea she had a boyfriend. It made for some interesting conversations.