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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

being forced to have a VBAC

20 replies

emsy1991 · 07/05/2015 19:59

i had my daughter two years ago, it was awful birth.
my waters broke the wednesday i went in on the friday 9am to be induce end up with a emragcy c section on the sunday at 4pm after only getting to 3cm.
i end up with postnatal depressed i put down to everything that happen during the birth. in which i try to kill my self twice due to it. i know i'm a idiot but it was truly awful and i was only 19 at the time. it took my two years to mentally recover. to be honest i'm still not there, there are times i just cry in bed going please god no.

i have said from the being that i want c section this time, no drama, hope with it planned it take the worry of it all away.

i have been refused, i am book in for the VBAC clinc at 30 weeks, and been recommend a support group by my midwife. she didnt even put me down to see a doctor in the hole of my pregnancy, which is stupid as i have MS, and in poor health as it is.

due to this i feel i must get a abortion, its made me so scared and sad i would rather die. i really don't want that, just sadly a though thats in my head, i dont know if i would go through with it, but that just how upset i am about it.
before i make my final choice i want to talk to you lot. has this happen to you?
have you been refused all though you have already had c section?
any advice you can give me?

OP posts:

NightsOfGethsemane · 07/05/2015 20:08

So you've never seen a consultant only a midwife? This is very concerning given your mental health circumstances and your MS. How far along are you?

You should absolutely be able to have a CS. If she is aware of your history, your midwife sounds dangerously incompetent. But you must be prepared to be assertive. You need to find out the name of the supervisor of midwives and explain your circumstances. Do you think you can do that? If you can't, is there an approachable GP at your practice who you could make an appointment with and ask them to intervene on your behalf? Common sense says that a VBAC is not right for you.

cathpip · 07/05/2015 20:09

I have found that midwives can be very pushy for vbac's but they cannot refuse you a section. Someone will be along shortly who knows a lot more than me.

Whatabout · 07/05/2015 20:25

I'd see your GP and ask for s referral to the consultant and to see if there is a mental health midwife. You are being let down.

fufulina · 07/05/2015 20:32

Speak to your GP and get a referral; any consultant who you talk to about your concerns will be able to help.

FWIW I wanted a VBAC all the way through my third pregnancy, having had a rough time in my second pregnancy, and at the eleventh hour, I just wanted the baby out alive. The midwife was amazing and having heard why I wanted a c-section, arranged it practically there and then.

Also surprised you've not seen a doctor. Please do see your GP.

CoffeeTwo · 07/05/2015 20:33

You should be consultant led if you've had a previous emcs. You need to be very clear that you're requesting an elcs and why. I'm 11 weeks and will be seeing a consultant at 16 weeks and then again at 34 weeks for the same reason.

seaoflove · 07/05/2015 20:38

I am so sorry you're going through this.

But please believe me when I say you can have an ELCS. I agree that if your midwife is refusing to listen to you (which is outrageous) then please see your GP and tell them what you've told us.

Just keep telling yourself you know what you want and you are entitled to it. Mental health reasons are a completely valid reason to have an ELCS. They cannot refuse if you are firm.

Good luck.

Gingerandcocoa · 07/05/2015 20:38

First of all: don't worry. Your midwife is not right and you should have the right to a CS. Please follow the advice of previous posters and ask your GP to refer you to a consultant. Anyone has the right to ask for a c-section and given your previous experience you should certainly be granted one.

Please don't make any decisions based on the misinformation provided by your midwife.

Gillian1980 · 07/05/2015 21:06

Are you in the uk op?

ovumahead · 07/05/2015 21:15

I just want to say that if you have suffered so badly with your mental wellbeing as the result of a traumatic labour, you will absolutely be considered for a cesarean. To not offer you this would be neglectful and unethical. But you will need to find a way around your midwife. Visit your gp, and/or call the maternity unit and ask to speak to the Supervisor of Midwives. Tell them your story and your worries and they should listen.

You must have received some kind of care from mental health services? Especially if you tried to take your own life twice. For this reason alone you would be considered high risk. I would get back in touch with your mental health team as well. Are you able to do this? If not speak to your GP who may do this for you.

And as others have said, if you have MS then you should have an appointment either a consultant and not just have your pregnancy care from a midwife only. Again, speak to your GP.

You will be fine - just ignore that stupid midwife!

weelamb123 · 07/05/2015 21:22

If u have had a previous section then it is entirely up to u how u give birth in subsequent pregnancies. U need to demand to see a consultant or at least another midwife. Where do u live? Xx

Original poster

emsy1991 · 08/05/2015 08:08

i did ring the pals team which is a complete team that has promised to look into it. my doctors is useless, i'm going to changes doctor and hopefully my midwife will change with it.
i'm 14 weeks along i see my midwife in couple of weeks. i have been to the ER liverpool womens as i had bleeding found out i was having twins.
i book in for a chat as i didnt know what to do next about twins. i said its best just to have a c section now as the risk are far to high. " dont be silly VBAC is perfect for you, cram down heres a support group" -_-

i'm trying to sort this out sooner than later as i was pregnant two years ago i had the same midwife. the same things happen. at 20 weeks i rang the hospital and ask when my appoint to discus my c section would be they send my midwife put in to required and there was nothing i can do.
well i freak out and said yes there is and has abortion that left me emotional ruined. i regret that choices but mental i honestly was not sound off mind.

i lived in southport when i had my daughter, i was under the cct in the hesthek center, a mental health unit. they where support visit me twice a day at home, gave me meds and meeting three times a week to talk.
when i moved to Liverpool i was taking off my meds and told there is no mental places here to go deal with it on my own, i'm just a silly little girl.

my doctors are so poor they only have one star on the nhs website.
www.nhs.uk/Services/GP/Overview/DefaultView.aspx?id=39185

thank you for your support makes me feel better know i do have a choices and there are still things i can do thank you.

think my plan next week is to change doctors and ring the hospital again.

OP posts:

Halleberry · 08/05/2015 08:20

Hi emsy,

Hope I can help. First I'm so sorry you are suffering. I to have terrible mental health problems and have spent most of my pregnancy in utter turmoil. I had an emergency c section with my son 10 years ago. It was frightening at the time and I'm not sure if it contributed to my state of mind after it but I swore I'd never have anymore. But, here I am 10 years later and 37 weeks pregnant. I considered a termination to begin with over worry about my MH but after talking it through with OH and MW and doctors I decided to go for it. It's been so so hard. I've wanted to end it all many times although ive never went that far. Anyway, long story short, I'm under the care if a specialist psychiatrist. He is actually one of the top psychs in my area for pre natal. After many appointments with him, my MW and obstetric doctor, and my request obviously, it was decided I should have an Elective section as soon as healthily possible for baby. I am due to have my section on Thursday. I will be 38+2 weeks. I have to get steroid injections before hand. Anyway, don't settle for this rubbish that you
Must have a VBAC. It's nonsense. Absolutely demand to see another doctor and midwife and tell them to want a section and that's all there is to it. If your firm with them they will back down. You know your own body and mind and you feel you would cope better under controlled circumstances and I agree. That's how I feel. Good luck with your pregnancy and birth x

Teeste · 08/05/2015 08:37

You absolutely do not have to have a VBAC. Check out the NHS and NICE guidelines, especially this bit:

If a woman requests a caesarean section, a planned caesarean should be offered if a vaginal birth is still not an acceptable option after discussions and offers of support.

Stick to your guns, OP

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 08/05/2015 15:46

With twins you should be consultant led with extra growth scans - I would be asking about this for starters, as you can then discuss vbac/elcs with the consultant directly.

ovumahead · 08/05/2015 16:22

Have you tried speaking to the Supervisor of Midwives? Call your maternity unit and get their name.

Also you may want to see if you have a local Perinatal Mental Health Service. Some areas do. They would be interested in helping you but may need a GP referral.

I'm sure once you've changed your GP things will improve.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 08/05/2015 16:27

Why haven't you been passed over to the consultant led team? I'm pregnant with twins too and was moved to them immediately where I've put in a request for an elcs. You should be having scans every 2-4 weeks too depending on if the placenta is shared or not. Have a look at the NICE guidelines too

Donnadoon · 09/05/2015 09:02

Defo change your Gp my lovely x

HootyMcTooty · 09/05/2015 09:09

I'm sorry you had such an awful time last time, but I think that has resulted in you panicking a bit here, understandably.

I suspect your midwife is a bit shit at explaining what she's doing, but I expect the VBAC clinic is being offered to help you consider your birth options. However, they cannot force you into a VBAC. If you're having twins you will be under a consultant at some point.

Make it clear during all appointments that because of your last experience and because you're having twins you have no intention of having a VBAC, insist on a csection and you will get one.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 09/05/2015 10:35

You cannot be refused a section. Can someone go with you to speak to me or doctor at your appointment and be your advocate?
I'm so sorry you are suffering in this way. I hope you get the support you need.

Micah · 09/05/2015 10:40

Ok.

First things first, there is no need for a decision to be made before 36 weeks.

Vbac clinic is not to force you to have a vbac, it is to discuss your previous birth with a specialist midwife and discuss all your options.

Likely you will be sent away with some reading material, told to think it all over, and to come back at 34 weeks. If you decide on a section, you will be referred to the obs team and a date booked for 39 weeks ish.

It is your decision, and they will do as you ask. The reason they won't do anything now as they want you to be fully informed as to risk/benefit, so you can be 100% sure of your decision.

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