Maternity leave

[BeckyJayne28]

Hi there,

I am currently 23 weeks+5 days pregnant. I work full time in a school as a TA, I work two evenings in the school's after school club and I am a drama teacher on the other 2 evenings a week and I also teach Drama on a Saturday. All pretty hands on and physical, but not physical in the sense of heavy lifting etc. Basically, per week, I work about 50 hours a week (not including travelling time) and get one day off a week on a Sunday when I'm usually sorting all the house hold jobs out...as you do! I am planning on working right up until the school summer holidays, giving me 5 weeks off before the baby is due which will be lovely.

Anyway, my main worry is, that as I am a drama teacher, I have two (highly stressful) shows to put on in July, meaning that from the 20th June to 12th July, I will be working every single day, Sundays included (due to extra rehearsals etc) without a day off. These hours are unpaid too- it's just expected we do it as teachers). I've done it in previous years and it has tired me out then, never mind being pregnant... and right now, at only 24 weeks, the thought of working those hours makes me want to cry!

I don't want to say to work that I can't do it and that they will have to manage without me if most people's opinion would be...."you're pregnant, not sick!" which is what I'm worried people will say. As it's my first baby, I literally have no idea how I will cope or how I'll be feeling then?

I just really want some advice on what you may do in my situation. To add to this, I have an under-active thyroid, I'm rhesus O negative and I had a query low lying placenta so could be booked in for c-section earlier than my due date anyway...if the placenta doesn't rise in the mean time. Fingers crossed it will!

What would you do in my situation? Stick it out, man up and work the extra hours and just sleep at any given opportunity? Say no now as my baby needs to come first? Or, do you think it's completely acceptable to say that I need to let know nearer the time when I know how i'm feeling and how the pregnancy is progressing?

Thanks in advance and I'm sorry if this seems like a pointless post. I know that really the decision is down to me, but I'd like to know what others would do.

Becky :) xx

I'm a teacher too with my first baby and exhausted so I know how you feel! I can't tell you how you will feel but I would say that you can't do all that. How many other drama teachers are there?

I think if you are clear about what you can do at the beginning then they won't try to guilt trip you into doing more. Decide the max number of hours you want to do and then stick to it. Xxx

I'm 28 weeks now and couldn't work those hours. I'd just have a word with the right person to let them know you'll do as much as you can but obviously you're not going to be able to work 7 days a week for a month. I can't believe anyone would expect you to!

You and your baby's welfare is ultimately a lot more important than a play which you'll have forgotten about by next year. The last think you want is to feel stressed and under prepared for baby's arrival.

I had low lying placenta with my first and had to take it easy. Ended up in hospital at 35 weeks though and delivered soon after. Looking back I wish I hadn't struggled on at work - currently on maternity leave now (started the day DS was born so no down time before) and honestly, no one thanks you for struggling on at work.
See how you feel nearer the time and what your consultant advises also. The main thing is trust your instinct and look after the two of you, good luck

Ok so as someone who has struggled on from 28 weeks in the attempts to work until my due date I have given myself exhaustion and high blood pressure, which has meant I've been signed off work indefinitely. It's caused me a lot of stress because I've ultimately left my colleagues in the lurch even though they've been so lovely. It will also trigger my maternity leave a month earlier than planned because my sick note states that it's a pregnancy related illness.

If the thought of working those hours is too much then the reality will be worse. You need to put a plan in place to help you deal with the hours, if you don't need to use it then that's a bonus. Please don't feel like you have to push yourself because of the attitudes of other people or the high expectations you have placed on yourself. It's not an illness of course, but it can certainly lead to a few if you don't take the pressure off when you need to. Listen to your instinct and take a step back from the workload, it's simply not worth the possible complications if you end up doing too much.

Hi OP, I'm a teacher also and determined not to give in to the teacher guilt. I would say upfront that you cannot do the play this year as you will be heavily pregnant and will need to rest. If it helps, say this was on the advice of the midwife. Yes we are 'expected' to do all these extra hours but they are not directed time and we are not paid for them so they can't legally 'expect' you to work them. Also, if you do start the show and then can't continue it is going to cause you, your colleagues and the kids lots of stress, so I would be upfront and say not this year. And no feeling guilty about it! Good luck to you!

I worked 50 hrs a week during my pregnancy between my real job and in a youth centre on a Tuesday night. I had Sunday to do all my jobs too - so I can really relate!!

I stopped youth work at 32 wks because it was too challenging - between the young people being crazy as usual and the walking around, stress etc - left me with zero patience and sore feet!

I had planned to stop work at 38 wks but ended up taking 2wks holiday and finishing at 36wks.

I wasn't thinking of the baby as much as I was thinking about me!! baby is fine in there, bobbing about as I walk and shout at kids (get off that pool table - I don't have time to go to a&e with you if you crack your head open!!) but I was physically and mentally exhausted and the first week I was off everything I slept a lot. I feel like a million dollars now and I'm getting induced tomorrow. house is clean and everything is washed.

allow yourself some time to prepare - for you! be selfish - no one else will thank you or remember you for being a martyr

If they get funny about it I'm sure you could easily get a note from the consultant. With my low lying placenta, I luckily wasn't put on bed rest as my job was office based and I could sit. I had to get others to do things like set up meeting rooms etc though. See what he/she says at your next appointment but your risk assessment at work should be taking your pregnancy related condition into account anyway

I'm a primary teacher and nearly 34 weeks pregnant... have two weeks to go before maternity leave starts and cannot imagine taking on two school shows right now- it's hard enough getting through the school day without having a nap! Have been heavily involved with school productions in the past so know how much energy is involved- if it were me I would definitely say no. Give yourself, your body and your baby a rest.