What's it like having a baby with Down's?

[Gemmasmummy]

I'm 42, 11 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby and have been offered a nuchal scan and counselling due to my age. Did you find the scan and counselling helpful? I have read all the threads on Down's but want to know what it's like to actually have a child with this condition. Are they more hard work than non-Down's children? What was hardest - coping with your baby or other people's reactions? My husband and I wouldn't terminate under any circumstances but I would like to be informed and prepared for what to expect.I understand there is a lot of negative press out there and I'm hoping isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be. If the baby doesn't have Down's, hopefully I will have learnt a lot in the process.

Have loved reading about your dear dear children teecee, eidsvold and geekgrrl.
Can't help saying this but i think All children are beautiful, but yours all sound extra beautiful

Have been thinking about your posts all day and agree with teeCee dp's opinion "We all would be lucky to have Lotte in our lives".

Gemmasmummy, when is your nuchal scan? I've just come back from having mine and I've been given odds of 1:21 of having a baby with downs syndrome and I'm 40 years old. I'd be interested in seeing what they say to you being 3 years older than me. We were offered the counselling after being given the result but we told them there was no point as we were having this baby regardless.

tc, do you ever play on www.poissonrouge.com? it's the sweetest website and if lottie's into french at the moment it has a lovely french alphabet section. (although your dd2 might prefers the bugs if my dd is any guide...)

I know this thread ended last Friday but i noticed it today and it made me cry with such relief, i was told last week after the nuchal test it was very high for someone my age (i'm 31) and so was offered all sorts of numbers and counselling but none of which i will use as nothing on this earth would make me abort this baby because of Downs. I knew that almost instinctively however i felt strange being told initially and i was offered the further test (which i declined due to the miscarriage risk). My husband was quiet but agreed that this baby wasn't going anywhere and its only when i told my mum that i got a strange negative vibe almost like i was 12 again, it was like she felt i'd be unable to cope with a baby with DS, it made me defensive and almost more determined to be positive about my baby regardless of whether its DS or not but i can't help but feel that my wonderful news is no longer as wonderful for everyone else anymore. After reading your wonderful experiences I am no longer acting positive due to my defensive attitude and disgust at my mothers reaction but because i am genuinely not scared about the possibility and actually feel genuinely positive and i really mean that. Thanks you so much ladies.

That's wonderfully Lollabelle, so so hap[py to read your post. If you see this please take the time to read this article in teh Times. It's the best article on having a child with Down's syndrome I have ever read.

Look here

Thank you - that was so lovely to read it really was, i think i'll print it off for my DH to read. I never had an opinion before but the more i read the less worried i am. Not that i was ever particularly worried but people seem to act so negatively you feel down about it and lets face it i'm about to have a much wanted child regardless of anything and thats nothing to feel negative about!

Lolabelle - congratulations on your pregnancy

TeeCee - that's a great article. Have you seen some of the photos on India Knight's blog?There's a gorgeous one of twins, both with Down's Syndrome.

My scan is tomorrow (16th Nov). I'm 12 1/2 weeks pregnant. When I was pregnant with my first baby I was 38 and the blood test showed I was "very low risk" - 1:5000, which seems very low for a 38 year old. I don't know if this will have any bearing on this pregnancy but I know the risk will have increased. But whatever happens I'm not going to have an amnio, it's too risky and you have to spend 2 days resting afterwards - something you just can't do with a 2 year old running around!

good luck with your scan tomorrow gemmasmummy, I hope you get a far better result than I did, I'm sure you will.

Hi Gemmasmummy,
Are you back yet? How did the scan go?

these posts just made me shiver the biggest shiver
What a lovely thread

Good luck to you Gemmasmummy and you Lolabelle in your pregnancies.
Also want to add my joy at having stumbled accross this thread. It has made me weep and smile at the same time. My niece was stillborn and DS (among other more complicated problems) and too many people said things like ''it's maybe for the best etc''. That was 10 years ago and I still regret never having 'met' her...
It's wonderful and uplifting to read your posts, just want to say thanks for sharing (if that's not too sacchariny a thing to say!)

My scan went well, it's alive and there's just the one in there! As for the NT scan, the chance of Down's has gone down from 1:65 (the standard for a 42 year old) to 1:123. Of course I won't know anything for certain until the birth! Thanks a lot for all your support though.

Thats good to hear Gemmasmummy

i remember my mw saying to someone once that there was no point in such scans and tests if you wouldn't abort anyway but i disagree. if it came back that you were likely to a baby with DS you would be more prepared for it when it was born and could have researched it and would be able to cope better than someone who just found out the day the baby was born. imo if you are going to grieve it is best to do it whilst you are preg and then you can get over it and enjoy being with your baby from day 1 as opposted to not being able to bond with your baby at first bcos you are in so much shock etc.