How did you feel...?

[Emilyjane11]

I seem to be using mumsnet for reassurance alot these days but I was wondering if you could tell me what those first weeks with a new born is like?

I know its going to be hard work and sleep will be a thing of the past but mentally did you cope?

My friends lg is 3 weeks old and she really struggled and only now does she feel a real bond with her baby.

Im worried about this, I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past and really would like this time in my life to be joyful, I dont want to be dreading labour and then weeks after Ive had my baby too.

Thanks in advance

Honestly? It's hard work. But it does seem to go in a blur, and from my experience before you know it baby is at that much more settled happy stage!

My best mate had a baby 13 weeks ago, I had a few times in the first few weeks when she called me in tears saying it was a mistake, she couldn't cope and what has she done. Truth was, she was tired, in pain from birth and a new Mum, but it wasn't long before she was past that and now absolutely loves her son - and is a brilliant mother!!

I found my first very difficult as I was very unwell and had to spend some time in ITU. I was a bit bewildered after, and found it hard to bond, but we managed to establish breastfeeding and soon built a strong bond!
Second time was much easier.

If it was that bad, I wouldn't currently be on my 3rd

I found it difficult but I had a difficult birth, a premature baby and was getting kicked out by our landlord so not the best period of my life!
It passes though, and gets easier so so fast. At first it's chaos but after a while you both get to know each other. You start to know what the cries mean and get a sense of your baby's habits.
Now DS is 6 months corrected and it's so much easier. We have a nice routine and both know what's happening. I've not been strict in routine it just ended up with him needing naps at roughly the same time etc.
You might be instantly in love with your newborn. I wasn't, and that's ok, it came eventually.
I'm still bloody tired though!

Oh and visitors - get them to actually help. I spent time scurrying round when they could've made tea themselves

Yes and what Number3 said is true. Despite having a hard time at first I'm happily expecting number 2! I think the fear of the unknown makes the 1st one harder

I think it's particularly hard if you go into it expecting it to be incredible and marvellous and elating, but it doesn't sound like you are feeling that way anyway! If your expectations are not too high (you know it will be difficult and exhausting) then you actually have little to worry about - it will be both those things, but there are so many small magic details too. The smell of your tiny baby, their eyes, the first smile...there are some moments you will treasure forever. My parents still talk about the moment I sneezed when I was fairly newborn (I was their DC1) and then looked so surprised at what had just happened - it still makes them smile now thinking about it.

The first weeks with a newborn are usually neither all awful/exhausting/isolating, nor wonderful/amazing - they are a mixture of both. Having low-ish expectations is no bad thing at all, and be open-minded about how you plan to deal with it all, but leave some room for some enjoyment too!

it can be overwhelming with your first newborn but you'll get through it and once your into a routine you'll be fine x

Hi
My baby has one week today so Im currently living it.

I had no problems bonding with my baby.
But I was quite shocked and surprised at the revovery from birth. Even one week after I find it incedibly difficult and painful-had episiotomy.

I have lots so much weight and look like monster.

I cry from that, I am more or less bed-bond as sitting is not an option, I breastfeed her lying down and you know staying in bed does not exactly cheers up a person.

She sleps better some nights and worse some others so there is tiredness and sleep deprivation but for me the worse thing is the pain from stitches and dirtiness from blood and also urine leakage.

I started off with low expectations and was so pleased not to be pregnant anymore that I enjoyed the newborn period. We were lucky in that we didn't have any reflux or colic to deal with either. Of course there's lots to learn and it's tiring but it doesn't have to be horrific. Being heavily pregnant while looking after a toddler, I'm finding much more difficult!

It was overwhelming and stressful for the first 6 weeks but the haze slowly lifted after that. Took me a long time to let go of my old life I think looking back even though I really wanted to be a mum. My second was a joy. Enjoyed her from the moment she arrived. I wish I could have had the same attitude on my first but some things only come from experience.

I didn't find it overwhelming, difficult or stressful - DS was an easy baby who only ate and slept. I did worry about bonding though, didn't get this massive rush of love people talk about, so sometimes during those first weeks wondered if we made the right decision having children.
Turns out, it's perfectly normal if you need some time to bond, DS is amazing and I'm expecting another.

I actually found the first 3 months easier than months 3-6. Have no idea why, really, other than perhaps the novelty wearing off. The first few months were lovely, if exhausting. A fug of visitors and eating cake and little trips out and sitting up all night with an unsettled baby and figuring out how to breastfeed (we had all sorts of problems, but persevered and DD bf until 2 in the end!). It was about 3 months in that I had the 'I've lost my life' identity crisis and started resenting DH for being able to go to work, etc. But that's all part of the process. I came to terms with it all, went back to work when DD was 9 months old and am now expecting DC2.

Becoming a parent is, I think, perhaps the biggest and most challenging 'life change' we go through, especially for older women who already have careers. Turned out all the skills and knowledge I'd spent years honing were completely bloody useless when it came to keeping a tiny, beautiful human being alive and being needed 24-hrs-a-day.

I think if you go into aware that it will be tough and will challenge your idea of who you are and that there will be shit days then you'll be ok. And usually the 'joyful' bits outweigh all the crap bits anyway.

Ah thanks for your replies. I wont say they have made me feel better but they have made me realise what will happen is normal and ill be okay. Thank you :)