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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Find out the sex or not??

18 replies

rufus5 · 30/04/2015 20:12

Currently expecting dc4, am very undecided about whether to find out the sex or not. Didn't with any of the other 3 and enjoyed the 'surprise' of finding out after the challenge of labour and birth, but am very tempted to find out this time.

I suppose mainly because of planning issues - this is def our last, and I could start giving away baby clothes we wouldn't need to clear some (much needed) space, as well as planning ahead for bedrooms/sharing with siblings etc.

Anybody find out the sex of their baby and wish later they hadn't? Or not find out and wish they had?

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CityDweller · 30/04/2015 20:28

I didn't with DC1 and it was so amazing discovering it for ourselves, after she came out. I remember it as such a joyful moment and I know that I would have been equally as thrilled if she'd been a boy. Discovering her sex is a wonderful memory, wrapped up in the moment of her birth and all the euphoria of holding your baby for the first time. I absolutely wouldn't have changed that at all and am planning not to find out with DC2. Yes, it would be handy for 'practical reasons' to know in advance, but I wouldn't give up that moment of discovering for myself, rather than being told by a random sonographer in a clinical hospital room at 20 weeks.

NickyEds · 30/04/2015 20:36

I've found out both times, mainly for practical reasons but I'm really pleased we did. We could start talking about "him" (and this time around "her") from then on and it was lovely, I found it nicer than "it". You still get the surprise, just earlier!

Starlightbright1 · 30/04/2015 20:48

I didn't want to know but now EXh did so we found out. I really despite my DS been 8 and have known his sex regret it to this day. I have to say though on all the scans ( we had to have about 8) he lay with his legs wide open proudly showing his crown jewels. so doubt I wouldn't of guessed.

If you have been through it 3 times how would you feel without the excitement of finding out at the birth.

When ever I watch one born I find it far more exciting when they don't know.

quesadillas · 30/04/2015 21:03

I didn't find out first time, had no desire to. Second time round, it's twins and I am desperate to know! Loved the surprise last time, but need to plan more this time.

heatherxo · 30/04/2015 21:11

I really didn't want to find out (first pregnancy!), OH did so we asked the sonographer to show OH the genital area before the started and I'd keep my eyes closed..
Anyway, our little monkey decided that he would display all for mummy to see.
So yeah, now 29 weeks, cant wait for my wee boy to arrive although I am still gutted that I know the sex, but I think it is much easier knowing so we could get organised, pick out a name, etc!

Original poster

rufus5 · 30/04/2015 21:41

I really don't know! It's such a nice surprise to find out after the birth, and so few people seem to leave it until then nowadays. I think if I'm being totally honest, deep down I'd like a boy (I have one boy and 2 girls), and although I will be delighted no matter what, I don't want to feel any tinge of disappointment if the midwife announces it is a girl.

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OMGBabyNo3 · 30/04/2015 22:14

I didn't find out with first two. Didn't want to first time (though personally found labour enough of a surprise that day!!). Wanted to more 2nd time for practical reasons but husband really didn't so went with him. This time the pregnancy is enough of a surprise in itself and I will def be finding out in a couple of weeks. Feel I need to be organised on a different level this time plus whilst I'm not regretting this I do feel it will help me get more used to the idea and bond with the baby.

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rufus5 · 30/04/2015 22:17

Yea, that is what I experienced - def didn't want to know with number 1, fairly sure didn't want to know with number 2, was quite tempted with number 3, and this time really really tempted - just worried I might regret it once it's too late!

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Christelle2207 · 30/04/2015 22:26

We found out at 20w just so that we had plenty of time to agree on a name as dc1 wasn't named until he was 2 weeks old.
Waste of time as now 38 weeks and still haven't agreed!

OMGBabyNo3 · 30/04/2015 22:46

Am sure you wouldn't regret it if you did decide to.

TerrysNo3 · 30/04/2015 23:52

I posted an almost identical thread to this a few months back, currently expecting no3, I had suprises with my first 2 but was more tempted to find out this time. I too was worried if regret finding out if I did, and since then I decided I wouldn't find out and I'm really glad I made the choice, I'm 21 weeks now and really enjoying the guessing games.

Stay strong!!

pinkandsparklytoo · 01/05/2015 00:15

Like you I'm expecting my fourth child. I didn't find out the sex with the first two but then did find out with the third which I really regretted as I was quite disappointed. This time I have decided to not find out as I don't want to feel like that again.

anyagujraal · 01/05/2015 06:48

No, I didn't find out the sex. It is one of the best and rare surprise we can experience in our life. I just want to feel the surprise....excited about that...waiting for the moment to come.

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2015 06:51

I knew with both my two, but I don't like surprises and am a practical type.

longestlurkerever · 01/05/2015 10:24

Going against the grain - I loved finding out at the 20 week scan with both of mine. It's such a long time to wait until the birth and trying to hold on to two possible ideas of what the baby might be (and explain this to dd) is tricky. Having the 20 week scan as a milestone where you get to learn this one thing is great, and doesn't at all diminish the excitement at wanting to meet dd2 - on the contrary she has become more real to me and to dd1.

I can't really understand wanting to add unnecessary suspense when there are already so many unknowns (good and bad) leading up to the birth but it's a personal decision.

CityDweller · 01/05/2015 18:09

For me waiting isn't about wanting it to be 'surprise' or 'suspense' at all, but discovering the sex of my baby for myself. It's really not that much of a 'surprise' - it'll be one or the other and for the first year at least, whether they're a boy or a girl makes no difference to who they are.

I really can't overemphasise the magical moment when the midwife asked me a few minutes after baby was born 'have you checked to see what the sex is?!?' and me looking down to discover it for myself. It was so special and really, really an utterly amazing moment that I will never forget. Of course, I understand why people want to know in advance. But for me I'd wait, every time.

Queazy · 01/05/2015 18:19

I didn't with dd but think we will this time round. I think I just want to mentally prepare if that makes sense, and knowing whether she'll have a brother or sister might help a little. I agree it was a beautiful surprise with dd first time round xx

Original poster

rufus5 · 01/05/2015 19:55

Can I ask you Pinkandsparkly whether the disappointment you mention was because you were hoping for the other sex, or was it disappointment and regret at finding out?

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