Getting pregnant in late 30s

[bayleaf]

I am just feeling really 'down' having read an article in today's Independant about how the idea that today's women are leaving it later to have children, and thus having the best of a career and then babies, is all a myth as a large proportion of those who leave it till their late 30s and early 40s never ever get pregnant despite trying just about eveything. The article seems to be based on a book - Baby Hunger or some such title - that is about to come out.
As I'm 38 and desperately trying to conceive - and have been for 8 months ( dd is 15 months) this has really got me down - especially as I had 3 miscarriages before dd so know I am not ''Ms Fertile'' to start with....
Anyone out there got any ''getting pregnant late on'' stories to cheer me up and counter this article??? PLEASE!!!

I read an interesting article at the hairdressers (think it might have been in Glamour magazine) about the so called decline in fertility after a woman reaches 35 and it said that alot of this scaremongering of women is by MEN who feel threatened by women stepping into their domain (ie making good careers for themselves AND having the family too) and feel like they have to put women 'back in their place'. I know lots of women who've had first babies in their late thirties and gone on to have lots more afterwards. HTH.

Bayleaf, are you about? I wanted to ask you something off-board and Mumsnet couldn't reach you by e-mail. If you get in touch with [email protected] they will give you my e-mail address - or you could let them have yours. I hope you don't mind...

You might all be interested to hear that apparently, the book that sparked a load of articles on this subject (Baby Hunger by Sylvia Ann Hewlett), has sold incredibly badly, despite the publishers' energetic hyping! Fewer than 10,000 copies in the whole US, and figures "not available" for the UK. As the New York Times points out, "Women are just not interested in shelling out $22 for a load of depressing news about their biological clocks". Quite right too.

Yes, isn't that good news. What a load of crap. I know someone who's had three children after the age of 40. The Evening Standard has now gone infertility crazy too - they even had a headline like 'dieting destroyed my fertility' but the woman they used a case history was actually pregnant!!!

Hi I'm new here, but just had to add to this subject which is dear to my heart. I had my 2 boys at the age of 40 and 42, worrying myself silly about potential problems thanks to all the scare-mongering I've read in the press. Both boys are happy and healthy and concieved naturally. First one took a year (I wasn't trying too hard), second one took 7 months, which is fairly average I believe. So good luck to all you older mothers.

I also conceived at 42 - wasn't really 'trying', as DH much keener than me (see other threads!!) & still boozing heavily, coffee, aerobics etc etc until I dare'd myself to do a test & found I was about 8 weeks pregnant!!

Completely off the subject but where does the (horrible) expression 'I fell pregnant' come from, I've always hated it, luckily don't see it much on Mumsnet, but don't really understand it.

Marina - don't know how I missed your message below - but I have only just noticed it - yes I had to change e mail addresses and I've been to lazy to tell all the sites I've registered with yet. I've e mailed mumsnet tho tonight so hopefully they'll put us in touch.
I've just this week been to see a medical herbalist having read lots about herbs that can help fertility online ( mainly on tcoyf.com). He's making me up a prescription having spent an hour grilling me abotu every possible aspect of my life and medical history - it's not the sort of thing that'll work over night - but I've only got another couple of months until my time on clomid is up - and then as far as I can work out it's either sit back and wait ( NOT tempting!) or iui - so the 'natural' alternatives seem very attractive. Hope you're having better luck!

Hi Bayleaf, If you read all the stats around on the internet and in books about getting pregnant in you late 30s and onwards then you will end up feeling really disheartened. Here is my pregnancy history which would seem to blow all the statistics out of the water!. Pregnant 1 month after coming off the pill at 39 , healthy baby at 40. Pregnant after trying for 2 months at 42 sadly miscarried at 8 weeks, pregnant again 2 months later miscarried at 6 weeks. Pregnant again after trying for 2 months at 43 and currently 16 weeks !.I know im not "the norm" but dont give up hope. If i had read all the medical stuff about having a baby later on in life i wouldnt have believed i could possibly stand a chance yet here i am!. Good Luck.

Bloody hell I think this must be the oldest thread ever to be bumped!

Bayleaf - there's a thread on conception called Besh which was started in response to the daily mail's doom-mongering about us ancient, selfish career bitches. From that thread there is one in ante-natal called pesh which shows a great big long list of the babies born to us middle-aged barren harridens! ;)

Im 37 and it took six months to conceive number two.

I live in the Netherlands and here the fertility clinics recommend low GI for conception.

As an aside, I remember reading in the mail and such 20 years ago that infertility men would be the death of us all due to oestrogens in the water. But these days its women's fault for not meeting a decent bloke until their thirties.

Lots of un-mnetty hugs and stop reading those hateful articles! ;)

I left getting pregnant until 35 years old. Had a m/c and a D&C and then got Ashermans (adhesions caused by over vigorous d&c). Spent years trying and failing to get a diagnosis but the minute I moved to Singapore I'd seen a doctor within a week and was operated on. Had to wait a further 8 months with coil in and HRT treatment to build up endometrium. Got pregnant within a month of having the coil out and had my first daughter on my 37th birthday (what a present)

Breastfeeding on demand meant periods stayed away for almost 2 years but the minute I cut back the number of feeds a day (and by this time was mentally ready to try again) I got a period and got pregnant the second month. I am 4 weeks from giving birth (just a few months away from my 40th). Oh, and I feel fabulous this pregnancy compared to last, haven't put weight on, don't have preeclampsia (yet) like I did with my first.

Although I think I'm done, we're saying never say never!

Very best of luck. Of course anything trended on the population level will show these things but that doesn't mean on an individual level there is a problem. Modern obstetric care and infertility treatment is there to help and can perform wonders.

It's a trivial example, but I'm anxious about having an August baby (school issues) but as my husband says, if she's anything like her sister don't worry, and of course, the mass average may reflect some trends and tendencies but we won't have a major issue with this.

Very best of luck. Are you charting?

oops old thread

A very interesting thread. An oldie but a goodie!
I'm 33, dh 35 been together for 16 years, left trying for a babba till last year when we got married. Got pregnant the month after the wedding.
Unfortunalty went onto mmc at 13 weeks.
Now 11 months on still trying to get pregnant.
With every month passing it getting harder and harder! Feel like I'm wishing my life away!
Doctor has now agreed to start tests.
Do you lovely ladies have any advice?

Bayleaf: Im also 38 and have just found out im pregnant. I didnt think it was possible again. I have a 10 year old Son obviously in my 20's and tried 2 years after he was born for another. Now after giving up hope and concentrating on my career its just happened. Dont feel down, like others have said to you see your GP and try to find out why you have miscarried in the past (which im sorry to hear). I wish you lots of luck.x

I had my first at 36, now 27 weeks with number 2 at 41. This is my 9th or 10th pregnancy though so can't pretend it's been easy, but worth it. If you experience recurrent miscarriages best to get quick referral to RMC, that's what worked for me. Good luck.

Bayleaf, I'm 37 and expecting my first, so pregnancy in late 30s absolutely can and does happen! Having said that, the figures that I saw did show a strong decrease in fertility after age 30 and further decline after age 35. Not doom and gloom, mind you, just decreased fertility (hence need to pay more attention to diet etc and regular shagging!). 52% of 35-39 year olds get pregnant within a year according to this:
www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/activelytrying/ageandfertility/

Maras and Aloha can you link to your sources of information please? Aloha, you state "the true facts are"...

Thanks - am genuinely interested as we are hoping to get baby No 2 later, and obviously time isn't on our side.

This thread was started in 2002.

Wold love to know if the OP got pregnant1

Ha ha was just about to post the same thing! I guess we will never know...

Wow this is such an old thread! Would be great to hear back from any of those original posters.

Such an interesting read though.

If it helps anyone reading my history is;

DD1 born just after my 35th birthday after 3 years of ttc, conceived within weeks of a laparoscopy during which the consultant said they found nothing amiss. I've since discovered that loads of women fall pregnant very soon after a laparoscopy - clears a blockage no-one spotted or clears a mental blockage being told all's well??? Who knows, but I would certainly encourage anyone ttc over 30 to set off down the medical route sooner rather than later.

DD2 born when I was 37.5 after only 2 months ttc.

Currently 28 weeks pg with no.3 - without even trying, a happy surprise! I'll be 39 when this baby is born.

Oh and my DH is 3 years older than me.

I know a woman who had her first at 35 and her 5th (and last) at 42.

Please take heart if you are ttc in your 30s. 5 years ago we thought we may never be parents, now I'm starting to feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe (and couldn't be happier about it!).

A quick look around my friends with children seems to indicate that, contrary to what we are constantly told by the media, mother nature often gives a late fertility surge to many women. Anecdotal certainly but not unusual.

Good luck to you all.

Hi there.

42 here and 3 months pregnant. Still in utter shock as i had odds stacked against me completely and utterly.

Ive got a fab thread going about my journey entitled "holy mother of crap" Its on the miscarriage board, have a look at that, it will inspire you i promise xxx

I'm 39, and got pregnant 2nd month post pill without particularly trying. According to my GP women in their 40s make up her largest group of accidental or unwanted pregnancies, as they are lead to believe they are virtually infertile. Total rubbish. If your are menstruating you are still fertile, although your ovulation may be a bit more random.

mrsb33, my sister was trying for over 2 years to get pregnant, did, had an mmc at 8 weeks then got pregnant again 6 months later and my niece is now 11 months old. She is now 35. Another friend who was 35 got pregnant, lost the baby very sadly quite late on in the pregnancy then tried for 2 years to get pregnant again, now has 2 sons aged 1 and 3.
I know someone else who tried for 2 years and now has 2. She is 36
Another friend tried for 3 years, the NHS said all totally fine, she went to this fertility doctor on Harley st that my friend above recommended and he found some tiny issue with her eggs, she had 1 round of IVF and her baby is 3 months old. She is 35 as well I think.

So there are lots of stories out there of people who've tried for ages, nothing, then it just happens.

Good luck. If you do want the name of this specialist guy, message me. This friend of mine who had the stillbirth has referred about 8 women to him apparently and 7/8 got pregnant.

for what its worth.. I didnt want kids until I turned 33, I am now 37, I had a career and I felt too young and not mature enough. I had two terminations when i was young 19 and 21 both times I was on birth control pills so thought that I was super fertile beco of that. When we started trying nothing happened and after a year I had all tests done and was more or less declared infertile. Blocked tubes, Polycystic ovaries and a hormolnal imbalance which meant that I ovulated incredible infrequently so even if a egg would be able to pass through my blocked up tubes somehow it was so seldom I ovulated that it would almost be impossible to fall pregnant. We went on to IVF and tried six times without any result and I then decided to accept my fate. However I met a guy at a party that specialised in holistic fertility treatments, massage, acupuncture and psychich surgery.. I am not really into all that and not sure what I was to beleive when he said all his patient had conceived and that made me decide to try and be open minded. I went for three 1.5 hour sessions, and after the first one i thought even i this doesent help me get pregnant I will still continue going. I felt energised, mentally cleansed, calm and happy, I talked about all my worries and had a few teary breakdowns and he was amazing, I got acupuncure treatment, massages, and psychich surgery plus a herbal concoction to drink as a tea..two months later and a BFP!! :-) I had just turned 37 and I am truly amazed. I know i am still not in a critical age, but I had definately gone from being super fertile in my late teens, early twenties to be declared infertile by 35 years of age..I do understand that there is some basis for the fact that you become less fertile as you get older, but I think there are massive plus sides too, I have more money, more patience and am more emotionally capable now to become a mum than I would have been at 21..I know there are loads of young fabulous mums, everyones different and i certainly wasn't ready then. Sorry for not being a proper "reply" to your query more of a personal reflection..

We were not trying, I'm 34 so not far off the mark and this is our first baby. I don't think those articles are completely true. Out of all my former school friends I am one of the last to get pregnant, most of them have kids who are almost teens now.
As for putting it off because of careers, I think it's more likely a case of "Can't afford to have a baby right now".

I conceived at 33 and 36 - am 37 now - without Clomid, despite a PCOS diagnosis at the age of 30. It's different for everyone, but FWIW...

1. You can tackle PCOS through diet, and I took agnus castus first time round which regulated my cycle.

2. Get a free menstrual app that will tell you which days are fertile.

3. Acupuncture can help, too - my cycle became regular without agnus castus second time round, after my periods returned (after nearly two years, because of breastfeeding)

4. Possibly TMI, but I reckon orgasming after your partner ejaculates really helps your chances. Do it yourself after he's fallen asleep, if you haven't already. Worked for me.