Friends drifting away?!

[cupcakesam84]

I'm 11 weeks today & already I've found quite a few of my friends & work mates have started to drift away, I think it's a combination of me not wanting to moan all the time about how tired I am & all the symptoms that are flooding in & I can tell that they really aren't interested or understand anyway! One close friend who I was confiding in about how rubbish I felt has said to me that she finds the whole thing funny & when I was utterly exhausted last week she commented with 'how pregnant are you? Should you be getting all these symptoms yet?'
I feel like I need to know people who are pregnant or have been so they at least understand! Is anyone else finding this? X

I think most women find it hard to understand pregnancy until they've experienced it themselves. My best friend was first one in our circle to have a baby (her DD's 2 now) and at time I admit I felt baffled and bored by all her pregnancy symptoms and wondered why she fixated on them so much. I also felt she became distant and lost interest in everything not related to pregnancy. I was so relieved when after giving birth she returned to her old self! Now I'm 20weeks with my first I completely understand why she was like that. Pregnancy is hard! I've got HG on top of all the usual aches and pains, back pain, headaches, fatigue and it IS hard to focus on things I used to enjoy. Some of my friends who haven't had babies try to get me to meet up for evenings out, shopping trips, concerts etc but I decline because I feel too queasy and tired. Luckily my best friend is very understanding, having had a difficult pregnancy herself she's very sympathetic and happy to take things at my pace.
My advice is spend more time with women who've had babies or are pregnant... they understand how you feel in a way others simply can't. With others, try not to talk about pregnancy all the time, show interest in their lives and problems, prove you haven't changed into someone they don't know!
As your pregnancy progresses you'll hopefully feel less unwell and when you have a visible bump people seem to be more understanding anyway.

My work friends completely ditched me once they realised I couldn't drink with them anymore!

I'm actually a bit guilty of it myself from years ago but now I totally understand! I'm trying to not talk about pregnancy/the baby unless they ask but it's so hard when I can't get excited about their boy dramas anymore lol! Prime example: I've had to leave work early today as I was just too tired to carry on but overheard a few moaning that I was going home! It's making me feel guilty for feeling tired! I'm really hoping the 2nd tri magical good feelings kick in soon :) xx

99% of our friends don't have kids. But it's pretty easy I find to gauge when someone is genuinely interested or not. So we just give a little update if people ask and talk about other things. It's nice to also talk about other, non-pregnancy related things too