no option for more children

[Sparklebox1]

Don't know if anyone has had this happen to them but my partner has had the snip after announcing that he doesn't want any more kids. I am really struggling with this as we tried for nearly a year for our second , his fourth, and then split up for a few months. I feel that the choice has been removed from me and don't know what to do with this hurt. He did this without any consultation with me and I just feel it was really insensitive. He now just expects me to get over it, not speak of it again as he has sorted the situation. I feel like the choice has been taken away from me .

I'm sorry you've been put in this situation. I would be really upset in your shoes, I feel that that would be a decision both partners should be involved in. However having more children is also something both partners should be involved in and agree to. It sounds as though your partner really doesn't want more children, so for me, that would make having more a non-option anyway. It was insensitive, and I think your partner should let you talk to him about it if you need to, but perhaps keep in mind that you'd have been unlikely to gain your partner's consent to have more children anyway. Now that 'the deed is done' I think this would be key to me trying to move on. Good luck

Ultimately it's his body and his choice, but I can see why you're upset. Thing is, if he really didn't want any more, even without him getting the snip he'd probably have wanted a belt and braces approach to contraception, so you wouldn't have been having any more anyway. If one partner isn't on board with having more, they take the choice away from the other anyway. So the vasectomy is a bit of a red herring iyswim.

That said, you don't have to just 'get over it'. You're presumably still fertile, so if you want another child you can have one. It just won't be with him. Decision time I guess. And if you do remain in the relationship, I think he owes you some support while you get your head round it. It's insensitive to expect you to just deal with it.

I would probably have to leave. Having more dc was too important to me.

Have you considered counselling?

Very difficult situation for you...

Agree with the above, his choice and his body but likewise your choice and your body, just clearly wont happen with him but you will need to decide what is more important for your future, good luck x