I suspect its just hormones but god i feel so angry, paranoid and insecure as of late. I am a few days of 36 weeks
Really snappy with the kids and have shouted at them over silly things (and then feel guilty) and the OH is not helping - he needs to grow the hell up. Had a stressful weekend with unexpected visitors. I feel like i just need some head space.
I had to go the hospital last tuesday as thought i was in preterm labour - just short of 35 weeks. Was ordered to rest up.
OH has not been helping, he likes a drink but problem is once he starts he does not stop!! hence making me feel paranoid everytime he wants to see his friends to discuss work or whatever it always ends up with alcohol involvement, TBF he did see his friends last week on 2 occasions for a game of golf in the nice weather after work and he didn't drink.
However Today he took the day off and went to see a bloke who used to be a mutual friend but i have no time for him, i am very pally with his wife and i dont like him. He's an alcoholic. OH knows how i feel about this bloke (whos older than us in his mid 50s) yet he went there this afternoon and came back before in a bad mood (how he is when he drinks)
What if i go into labour?? i cant turn up at the hospital with some drunken idiot can i?
How fucking irresponsible. Everytime OH leaves to go the shop or late back from working (self employed and works up the road) i get paranoid that hes out drinking and worry incase i need to get the hospital :(
I hate feeling like this its horrible.
I work from home in my work shop attached to the house so i dont get out as such but am normally busy so day goes quickly.
Kids are at school and nursery most days.
I have 2 horses which i really really miss riding them, at the moment theres nothing i can do with them really as they are turned away till after the baby.
Live in a rural spot so not too many friends/people around. Yet again when people are about i just want to tell them to go after a few hours!!
Am just fed up and want this baby to come asap - i hate these hormones!
I am prone to PND and had it with my daughter who is now 10 and had a touch of it with my youngest (2yrs) i just don't want to be heading in that direction again.
Sorry for the rant i need to vent