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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

big age gap between #1 and #2

24 replies

Autumn2014 · 21/04/2015 21:11

My first child will be 7 when this baby is born. All my friends and family have much smaller gaps. 2 years is the most common, with 3 years being the longest gap. Just wondered if anyone else I'd having a similar age gap to me?

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Stinkersmum · 21/04/2015 21:16

My sister and I are 7 years apart. Obviously when were younger we didn't have that much in common - but it hasn't prevented us having a great sibling relationship. As for being the parent of children with that age gap I'd sat it was ideal - older child is more independent, able to help more, more able to understand the new little intruder in their life etc. I think it's a lovely age gap.

Somebodystolemyname · 21/04/2015 21:17

There's 8 years between my two oldest boys. It's a nice age gap - DS 1 had me all to himself for a long time so there were no jealousy issues at all when DS 2 came along. He adores his younger brother. When he was a baby DS 1 could be trusted to sit with him while I had a quick shower etc so that was lovely. Now they are (nearly) 13 and 4 - they are great pals, they play football together for hours, bounce for hours on the trampoline etc and are very happy in each other's company.

youlemming · 21/04/2015 22:17

I will have a 5 yr gap and I'm really glad as DD1 is able to do more for herself and is looking forward to helping out with the baby, would have been a lot tougher will a newborn and a toddler/preschooler.

I have a sister who is 2 yrs older and we fought all the time which I expect is because we were both fighting for the attention, but my younger sister there is an 11 yr gap and we get on really well I feel like I helped my parents raise her more than just being a sister.

CrispyFern · 21/04/2015 22:22

I met someone the other day with a 22 year old and a 1 year old.
Now that's a biiiiiig age gap!

spongysponge · 22/04/2015 08:57

My first child will be almost 8 when this one is born, so I know how you feel. I try not to worry about it. My first child is extremely sociable and not suited to being an only child at all. It makes him unhappy. He is super excited about the baby. I feel sad that I couldn't give him a brother or sister any earlier, but this is the first time I've been in a position to have one so I've done my best. I don't know anyone with a gap this big, so I'll have to see how it goes!

Number3cometome · 22/04/2015 09:15

DS is 12, DD will be 8 when DS2 is born.

I have found it has been like being a FTM all over again, but it is nice in a way as it is OH's first baby, so it is like we are experiencing it together as first time parents.

My children have both been excellent and are looking forward to meeting their brother helping me out

seaoflove · 22/04/2015 09:19

Over ten years between me and my brother.

I've always thought age gaps were such a non issue, and yet on MN people agonise over them, like it's not worth having a second child once the first turns 4 or 5!

Number3cometome · 22/04/2015 09:29

I forgot, my brother is 12 years younger than me, not an issue at all.
Especially now we are both adults.

WilsonWilsonWoman · 22/04/2015 09:36

My dd is 8 this Friday and her db or dsis will be born two Fridays after that! This thread is lovely, I'm really looking forward to seeing my daughter with the baby and I'm really quite glad I'm not going to be a nervous wreck with a toddler and a newborn!

FeelTheNoise · 22/04/2015 09:42

My DS is at college and DC2 is due this autumn

I have all the worries an expectant mum has, and I'm a natural worrier, with all the worries of having a late teen and bloody hell, teenagers are stressful!

Original poster

Autumn2014 · 22/04/2015 10:31

Thanks for sharing your age gaps. I agree with the poster who wrote that some people imply that a bigger age gap isn't worth doing. I also feel a nit like we are starting again- we got rid of all the big items so will have buy again! But it's taken us a long time to feel brave to try again. I think people will be surprised when we finally announce our news.

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Mummyofonesofar · 22/04/2015 13:08

Autumn I hope your pregnancy is going well - I think I mentioned this on the bus I was on with you when you got your BFP, my DS will be 7 this year and I am not pregnant yet. I wish there was a smaller age gap in once sense as I am dreading all the sleepless nights as I have forgotten what they are like, nursery fees and school viewings again but will be glad that DS will remember the baby growing up and can guide them and help out at home. Plus being able to enjoy my mat leave with the baby and not worry about a toilet training toddler will be great. And I think it is good that they will never share a school together so the younger one won't be known as DS's little brother/sister so will have their own identity.

UriGeller · 22/04/2015 13:15

My oldest is 25 and my youngest is 2! - in between I have a 13 and a 4.
25 is besotted with 4
13 looks up to 25 but doesn't interract much with 4 and 2
4 is very protective of 2 and they are very close.

They all have their own place in the family dynamic. Age gaps are just what they are.

PerspicaciaTick · 22/04/2015 13:32

I'm 7 years older than my sister. It was fine. I loved being a big sister when she was small. Then I hit teenage years and I did my thing while she did hers. We became close friends once I returned from Uni. She is a fab sister.

Sgtmajormummy · 22/04/2015 13:50

There are nearly 8 years between my two. When DS saw his little sister for the first time he said she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Until she was school age, it did seem like "3 big ones and a littley" and I tended to stay with her while DH did the grown up activities.
Now she's 9 it's great. We all do stuff together and she certainly knows how to make her presence felt! DS is still very protective of her, but teases and calls her a pain, which she plays along with quite happily. Then I find them snuggled up whispering on the sofa together...
I'm so glad they have each other, now and in their future adult life. I've had the privilege of two distinct "mother and child" experiences (not jealous of 2-year gaps at all!) and can only give positive feedback! Congratulations!

Mummyofonesofar · 25/04/2015 15:06

Little did I know when I posted before - I was pregnant already! Edd 3 jan and DS will be 7 in Sept

Bellabutterfly2014 · 25/04/2015 18:27

My partners kids are 24, 18 and 15. I'm pregnant - due in November. They have no idea about our baby yet we're waiting until around 20weeks to tell them. No idea what their reaction will be but his 24yr old daughter has a 5year old and a 2yr old,. He is 43 and I'm 35.

Obviously for my partner it's second time round but I don't think there's a right/wrong age gap. One of my friends deliberately had a 4 yr gap so they could budget for nursery fees as they said it would be difficult to pay for 2 pre-school age children.

Plus just because you start trying for a sibling, there's no guarantee you'll fall pregnant straight away anyway, my sister hoped hers would be close in age it took her 3 years Ttc for baby number 2!

Rebecca2014 · 25/04/2015 18:30

6 years between me and younger sister. Not close at all growing up, but we are adults now and we get on well.

MummyPiggy87 · 25/04/2015 20:53

I'm so glad you posted this thread.
This little one is due November and my son will be 8 years old and I felt so bad.

renovationation · 25/04/2015 22:36

Thank you for posting. We have a ds who is 5 in November. I long for another but dh is adamant that we're done. Gives me hope that it is only my own prejudice about larger than usual age gaps stopping me from keeping my wish alive.

Original poster

Autumn2014 · 25/04/2015 22:51

Well I've been told that I have a mmc since I posted this so it looks like any future sibling will be an even bigger age gap.

Good luck to everyone else.

OP posts:

MummyPiggy87 · 25/04/2015 22:54

I'm so sorry.x

Sgtmajormummy · 26/04/2015 00:51

So sorry, dearie.

toddlerwrangling · 26/04/2015 00:56

So sorry, autumn

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