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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Help me have a natural pregnancy!

35 replies

DimpleHands · 21/04/2015 20:49

I had an epidural with DS1. Am pregnant again and determined this time to have a natural birth! To those of you who have done it - do you have any tips? What helped you do it? Doula? Hypnobirthing? Tens machine? Anything else?

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Original poster

DimpleHands · 21/04/2015 20:51

Ooh I meant natural birth, not pregnancy!

OP posts:

vez123 · 21/04/2015 21:00

My second birth was nothing like my first. First one was induced, propess, waters broken, drip, epidural, forceps, failed ventouse and episiotomy. So pretty much every intervention except a cesarean. Luckily both DS and I were fine and recovered well.
My second birth couldn't have been any more different. Waters broke at 37.4 weeks, about 2.5 hours from first twinge to DD being born. The really painful bit only lasted about twenty minutes or so. No interventions, just DH, midwife and me in the room.

I think it is quite common that second births are faster and easier (disclaimer: this is just from what I read and heard from others)

Oh and I didn't do anything to make birth of no 2 easier. No hypnobirthing, doula or any books.
It just happened the way it did.

PomeralLights · 21/04/2015 21:03

I had a no-intervention birth with my dd, I put it down to luck and Hypnobirthing in equal measure

CatsCantFlyFast · 21/04/2015 21:05

Hypnobirthing, tens, pregnancy chiropractor and lots and lots of reading beforehand (positive birth stories and books about natural labour)

museumum · 21/04/2015 21:07

Tens machine, pregnancy yoga, staying at home as long as possible, yoga breathing, a pool at a MLU and a large dose of good luck! :)

dreamingaboutcheese · 21/04/2015 21:15

Completely agree with past posts. preparation, hypno and practicing the breathing techniques, water, gas, chiropractics and a dose of luck. Getting your head in the right place and understanding what's happening is half the battle. good luck and try not to worry.. que sera sera! x

Micah · 21/04/2015 22:22

Honestly? It's luck. There isn't really anything you can or can't do to make things easier. As pp said, whatever will be, will be.

Allthatnonsense · 21/04/2015 22:58

There are no prizes for suffering. I speak as someone who had a home birth without any relief.

Roseybee10 · 22/04/2015 05:08

Hypnobirthing, tens and gas and air got me through first one.
Second one was pool birth and I loved it.
Most people I know who had epidurals first time round had fast, straightforward labours with their second x

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 22/04/2015 07:09

Your second birth will be easier.
But I would try not to be 'determined' for it to go a certain way. Some things are outside of your control and you might feel disappointed.

SlippinJimmy · 22/04/2015 07:15

First birth was induced, epidural in early on and was stuck to the bed the whole time, forceps delivery with a bad 2nd degree tear.

My 2nd birth was amazing. I still needed to be induced but the pessary worked quickly and my body knew what it was doing. Being in the water helped ease the pain and stopped me tearing, I would definitely recommend a water birth.

I agree with others though, you really need to get your head in the right place for it, and a lot of it is down to luck. As long as you and the baby are safe and well at the end of it then it's a job well done

MissTwister · 22/04/2015 09:46

Have a read of Maggie Howell's Natal Hypnotherapy if you want calm practical and emotional support for a natural birth where possible

MissTwister · 22/04/2015 09:46

Just realised I sound like an advertiser there - am not but am reading it and the moment and it's good!!

TheOriginalWinkly · 22/04/2015 09:50

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. I did everything possible to prepare for a natural birth - perineal massage, natal hypnotherapy (the Maggie Howell stuff is good for relaxing), I laboured on a ball and pushed upright - none of it stopped DD lifting and turning her head on the way out and getting thoroughly stuck. You get the birth you get, if you have too rigid an idea of what you want it to be you could end up needlessly disappointed. Hopefully it'll be a breeze for you.

puddymuddles · 22/04/2015 09:54

My 1st birth was induction and epidural (did have natural delivery after an hour of pushing but still feel it wasn't natural due to induction and epidural drugs)

2nd birth 4 hour labour and completely natural and just one push and DD2 was out!! 2nd birts are supposed to be easier...

Am expecting DC3 in June so will hope for an easy third one!!

goodnessgraciousgouda · 22/04/2015 11:01

Is there any reason behind your determination on the issue?

This is an entirely personal view, but I don't think it's helpful to fixate on any particular type of birth method. You can do all the preparation that others have suggested to get in a good place mentally for the birth, but really the only important thing is getting the baby and the mother in a good place once the birth is done.

Sometimes second births are much easier, and sometimes they are much harder. You just won't know until the day!

By fixating on a "natural birth" (and I do hate that term), you might just be setting yourself up for completely unnecessary disappointment if things go differently on the day.

Focusfocus · 22/04/2015 11:34

I am pregnant currently and am trying hard to not buy into the definitions of normalcy and desirability that surrounds births. While a massive amount has been done for women's choices during birth by leading personalities in natural birthing, hypnobirthing etc - perhaps it has also created a culture of aspiring for this one ideal. With this "ideal" birth in mind we set ourselves up for feelings od inadequacy and failure which are unnecssary - or set ourselves up to be a part of the goady many who judge women on births.

it does seem to be that there seems to be a hierarchy of "ideal" births. As-

At the very top is the earth mother, who meditated her way to a swift, euphoric, empowering delivery in her dimply lit bedroom, without even a paracetamol.
Then is the lady who "did it all on gas and air" in the birth centre.
then is the lady who had a "normal" birth but forceps or ventouse was needed (feeling of failure begin to set in about here)
Then is the lady who had an epidural

5.Then is the lady who needed an EMCS.

And - shuddder shudder - the lady who - hush - elected for a C Section.

Why? Why not just let go of all these ideals surrounding natural and presumably "unnatural" (?) births? At the end of the day if you are healthy and baby is healthy it has been a succesful birth. You cannot fail at this.

All best.

HazleNutt · 22/04/2015 13:15

What Focus said. Study after study shows that so many women are disappointed and traumatised about their labour experience. And the main factor is not how the birth actually went, what intervention and pain relief was used - but that it did not meet their expectations.

I have friends who chose ELCS and consider it a bloody marvelous experience, because that's what they wanted. And I have friends who consider that they failed just because they had pain relief or minor interventions. Why do we do it to ourselves?

IceBeing · 22/04/2015 13:21

hazzelnut I don't think your assertion is true. The main factor in generating trauma is more likely exactly how bad, painful the experience was, how you were treated during the process (whether or not you had any control over events) and how you are treated afterwards.

I don't think people end up with PTSD because their birth wasn't quite as natural as they hoped!

IceBeing · 22/04/2015 13:24

although to be fair not many people go into it expecting that they will have days of uncontrolled pain, HCPs treating them children and undermining their feelings and decisions, ending with a forcepts delivery under GA and a post partum heamorrhage. Because if we did go into it expecting that we would all opt for the elective C-section.

So from that point of view expectations may be a determining factor, albeit it not the important one.

madreloco · 22/04/2015 13:26

I agree with Hazle. Seems to be that many people have high expectations and honestly believe that its up to them what kind of birth they have. If they lowered their expectations and realised that its almost exclusively pure dumb luck whether you have a good time of it or not, they wouldn't feel so bad about it afterwards.
I've heard many people tell their birth stories as if they were massive traumas, when they were quite routinely unpleasant births. We expect too much and then react to the difference in experience.

IceBeing · 22/04/2015 13:30

mad sorry but your post is really ignorant. Trauma has a specific definition in terms of the way your brain fails to process an event correctly. It cannot be influenced by expectations.

It is also not the same for one person as another. For example some soldiers go to war and see horrific things but process it. Others suffer PTSD. They all expected it and were trained for it.

Having intrusive thoughts, flash backs, depression, suicidal tendencies etc. are not things you choose, or that are influenced in anything more than a superficial manner by your original expectations.

HazleNutt · 22/04/2015 14:20

ok delete traumatised from my post, I was not talking about PTSD, not an expert in that. Many women are unhappy and disappointed because the birth did not meet their expectations and preconceived ideas. Therefore it is advisable to keep an open mind.

BlingBubbles · 22/04/2015 14:24

I didn't do anything but had 2 natural births. I was however induced with both as I was over due.

My DS was born 3 months ago and honestly it was such an easy labour. At 1930 the MW told me I was 5cm dilated and moved me into the birthing suit and at 2035 my DS was born. My Dh and I couldn't quite believe it.

Good luck!

Focusfocus · 22/04/2015 14:52

It's really evident that unhappiness following birth can result from a range of very real factors including bad healthcare, badly behaved HCP, poor conditions, physical tearing and trauma, and sometimes - disappointment owing to very high or specific expectations.

So, not all or even perhaps not even most of post natal sorrow/upset is down to unmodulated expectations, but some of it, sometimes, is. Or so I have gathered. About the former factors, it's not in my hands, who knows what will happen. On my part I am just keeping the expectation aspect open. Will do hypnobirthing training and am happy to walk out with an EMCS if that's what's best. Over and above this if other things go wrong I,e. Midwives infantilise me, or I am left screaming forever without epidurals, or I have a fourth degree tear - none of that has anything to do with expectations, so what will be will truly be, I guess. Gosh, what we women go through!

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