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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Just found out I'm pregnant

13 replies

agoodyearforblossom · 20/04/2015 16:27

I hope this is the right place to post, I have just done 6 tests, yep all say pregnant. This wasn't planned, DH and I live in a 1 bed flat, both self employed, money tight, haven't been living terribly healthily, have been drinking..... feel like am giving this baby the worst start ever, and am just so overwhelmed. DH will be home in an hour, can't stop crying. Just looking for any advice, hand hold etc. Thanks

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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MistressKatherine · 20/04/2015 16:33

Huge hugs! Firstly, please do not worry about what you have been doing before finding out. Women sometimes go a whole pregnancy without realising and binge drinking to hell with healthy children. At your early stage baby is only just connecting to you by the placenta forming, before this my doctor said what you do has very little impact. Mine was a planned pregnancy and when I found out I was scared stiff. You've had a shock and your reaction is perfectly understandable. Please don't be hard on yourself. Have a big fat hug with your other half when he gets home. It will be absolutely fine xxx

laurenlhthompson · 20/04/2015 16:34

Hello agoodyearforblossom

Try not to worry about the things you did when you didn't know you were pregnant. I didn't find out until 8 weeks and the fact you're worrying about it now shows you're already looking out for it.

I'm in a similar situation as you in terms of where I live and finances and although it's taken a few weeks, there are plenty of places that can offer you help to plan ahead. You've still got lots of time.

Try not to worry too much and think about what is best for you. People will always tel you that if it's something you want then there is always a way to make it work and I believe that.

Good luck x

Original poster

agoodyearforblossom · 20/04/2015 16:37

Thank you so much. In some ways I'm lucky, amazing DH and family, but just feeling so overwhelmed. I've made a drs appt for Friday, and having deep breaths and tea!

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scarednoob · 20/04/2015 17:00

it's the most overwhelming thing you can possibly do. but there are practical answers to anything that is bothering you if you look for them, just quick examples:

1 bed flat - baby is 9 months away and will be in with you for 6 months or more when s/he arrives anyway

both self employed - you can be flexible around childcare arrangements

food/drink - it will make no difference at this stage, you have all the time in the world to be healthy

deep breaths and a little of something that makes you feel nice (chocolate or whatever!) and try to take it one step at a time.

lots of luck! x

Original poster

agoodyearforblossom · 20/04/2015 17:07

Thanks scarednoob, really really good advice. Thank god for mumsnet, don't have anyone I can talk to yet, but need to iyswim. Just so nervous about telling DH, no idea how he'll react, but don't think it'll be positive.

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scarednoob · 20/04/2015 17:42

massive hugs. as my dad would say, "if you have to eat an elephant, take small bites."

your DH might be shocked at first, but overall it is lovely news when you get through the shock and the trauma of the shock. hopefully he will see it that way soon, even if not immediately. and he might surprise you!

and you can always post what you need to on here any time you need to - after all, sometimes a bit of anonymity is exactly what you need xx

Focusfocus · 20/04/2015 18:33

Congratulations! Now, one by one, eh?

Do you want to be a mum? If yes, you are going ahead with this!

One bed flat - you know what? Till six months most babies would be in both you anyway. SO you have 15 whole months to sort out a slightly larger space if you need to.

Costs - will grandparents offer to present you with one or two big ticket items? Can you put away maybe a little each month for next nine months?

Eating and looking after yourself - Get folic acid supplements ASAP. Any pharmacy or supermarket would have them. Cheap. Cheap cheap. Extremely crucial. Or get yourself pregnacare from amazon, it contains everything you need for someing like 5 quid a month. If not, just the folic acid will do for now. Go on the NHS pregnancy website when you have a quiet evening (not today!!) and have a good read of all the pages. You'll be set, promise!

lexyloub · 20/04/2015 18:52

Every one of us probably shit ourselves when we got that bfp whether it was planned or not so don't worry its absolutely normal for you to feel worried and anxious about the future. Give your dh time to get his head round it too don't be upset if he doesn't throw you up in the air screaming with happiness. I think it takes men longer than women to get their heads round it, they feel pressure to provide and also worry about you and how your going to change both physically and emotionally and how your relationship will change.
It's still early days you've got 8/9 months to sort out the logistics of everything. Having children Is the hardest job you'll ever do but also the most rewarding.dont look too far ahead at this stage take tiny steps you'll get there in the end. Congratulations

slightlyconfused85 · 20/04/2015 19:03

Don't panic! This was actually me 3 years ago- dd is 2.5 now and all is well! We had a one bed, she slept in with us then a travel cot in the lounge and we moved house when she was 9 months. When we both got over our surprise, we just took it day at a time and suddenly she was here, we loved her and got on with it. You only need to be able to provide love and warmth- you'll have enough money. Message me if you want I was actually you!

Original poster

agoodyearforblossom · 21/04/2015 13:25

Thanks all again, was a bit of a tearful night, DH just went ashen when I told him, and is very overwhelmed/stressed. Now I have our baby growing inside me, I really think this will be a good thing, and DH would be a brilliant father, it's just getting us both used to the idea, I want him to be on board with this too, and not just supporting me in My decision if that makes sense. Anyway, got some vitamins, next stop dr on Friday, and I know it's v v early days so nothings a certainty yet, but am ready to face every challenge. Ish! We both have supportive parents, although his are older and mine are in Australia, but know they'll help in any way they can, I think, dreading telling DH's Mum!

OP posts:

scarednoob · 21/04/2015 15:43

you've told him now - it can only get better from here, as he gets used to the idea of being a dad.

fwiw from an internet stranger, i think you will be a great mum. even in the midst of uncertainty it is quite clear from your posts that the baby is actually the first thing you are thinking of!

lexyloub · 21/04/2015 15:56

My dh didn't speak at all when I told him about dc3 I came home from work the day after to find him scoping the loft to figure out extra bedroom space. Give him time he'll be fine

mrsleomcgary · 21/04/2015 22:01

Everyone else has already said what I'm about to,but I'm gonna say it anyway.

I found out I was pregnant at 9 weeks. Two weeks before that I had been in American for a friends wedding, with 12 of my oldest friends, and spent 12 days drinking my own weight in cocktails every single day. I'm a type 1 diabetic and on that holiday my sugar levels were through the roof which can cause problems with fetal development.

And my 15mo is absolutely perfect.

Congratulations

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