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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Honesty please

36 replies

pollypocket123 · 17/04/2015 00:52

18 stone and want to be pregnant. Feel fit and am very active all day. Better to be very overweight and 33 or lighter and 35? Many thanks in advance x

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CultureSucksDownWords · 17/04/2015 01:19

Lighter and 35, definitely. I had my DS when 34 to 35, and lost a chunk of weight beforehand. I'm not far off your weight now (it crept back on again after DS's arrival,Blush), and want to TTC number 2 but I'm waiting until I can shift a fair bit of weight again.

Roseybee10 · 17/04/2015 02:52

I was much heavier than my normal weight when I fell pregnant with dd1 due to miscarriages and other factors before conceiving her.
I then gained a further 4 stone when pregnant. I found the end of pregnant awful. I was so sore and swollen and uncomfortable and ended up with spd and pelvis ached all day.

Second pregnancy I lost the baby weight from first plus two extra stone so went into pregnancy much lighter. I then only gained 1.5 stone. I was SO much more comfortable at the end and had a much easier labour etc. I was really mobile up until the end and wasn't sore right until pre labour made me achy a few days before giving birth.

I would always say to try and be as fit and have as healthy a weight as possible before falling pregnant as it puts such a huge strain on your body. X

hestialou · 17/04/2015 07:40

I was due to start diet to lose about 2 stone and then got pregnant, morning sickness caused me to loose about 9lbs, at 17 weeks I am still lighter than pre pregnancy weight, so my advise is yes diet beforehand but stay at top of target weight range in case ill.

Quitelikely · 17/04/2015 07:43

Why can't you get pregnant and diet at the same time?

When I say diet I just mean eat 1500 calories a day or follow the low carb eating ideas.

Fattycow · 17/04/2015 07:46

If you diet, toxins are freed in the body. So if you diet when pregnant, those toxins will affect the baby.

Skiptonlass · 17/04/2015 08:28

Start a healthy diet and excercise regime now, and in a couple of months start ttc. There is no danger in the sort of weight loss where you're overweight and just eating/ excercisng sensibly to either you or the baby. Stick to a healthy, balanced diet with a good activity level and you're fine.

A toxin is something created as part of a metabolic process in one organism that can elicit an immune response in another , e.g bee venom , or botulinum toxin (Botox.)

If any diet website starts talking about toxins/detox, you back away smiling and nodding, because it's absolute, 100% bollocks/quackery. ;)

scarednoob · 17/04/2015 08:30

How tall are you? 18 stone at 5' is very different to 18 stone at 6'!

Stinkersmum · 17/04/2015 09:17

I'm 6'2 and 13 stone. That's plenty. 18 stone at any height is too heavy. Lighter and 35.

Cornberry · 17/04/2015 09:34

It won't take you two years to lose a few stone if you are really committed and need to lose the weight. Also just to let you know, I thought when I got preganant I would be a model of healthy eating and restraint, but sickness and nausea have caused me to have to eat badly and constantly and now at 21 weeks I've put on a huge amount and am already uncomfortable. I was about a stone overweight to start with and I wish to god I had lost some weight when it was within my control. Now I have to eat what my body tells me to avoid vomiting/passing out. Already suffering with backache and shortness of breath. I think devote 6 months to a healthy regimen and then start TTC. Beware, I thought it would take a while. It happened immediately :)

TinyMonkey · 17/04/2015 09:35

Lighter and 35. Eighteen stone is a lot, regardless of height, unless you're a seriously muscular athlete. I've just had my first baby at almost 41 and 3 stone overweight. I was active beforehand, I cycled 18 miles a day, swam regularly, and walked a lot, but I really love food.

Fortunately, my pregnancy was straightforward, bar a touch of diabetes right at the end. But I was very lucky, and my active lifestyle probably helped. It would've been even easier if I'd been a healthier weight beforehand.

Pregnancy puts a huge strain in your body, and getting in shape afterwards is difficult due to the demands of having a small baby.

I watched what I ate whilst pregnant and was back to my pre-pregnancy weight 3 weeks after birth, but I still have those three stone to lose before I try to get pregnant again.

Get into good habits now and it will help you bounce back, but also it will help you model a healthier lifestyle for your child.

If you diet, toxins are freed in the body. So if you diet when pregnant, those toxins will affect the baby.

By the way, the above is utter, utter, bollocks.

Number3cometome · 17/04/2015 09:48

I've not heard of that toxins stuff, but let me tell you, you will NOT physically be able to diet in pregnancy, you will feel sick and you will want to eat and if you don't you will feel shit.

Lose the weight first, take it from someone who has been fat and pregnant, then had to lose 6 stone after. It was no fun!

scarednoob · 17/04/2015 09:53

i agree that toxins aren't released - if we were carrying around tonnes of toxins, we'd die anyway! - but it is definitely true that fat contains oestrogen. i'm always a couple of stone heavier than i'd like to be or should be, and whenever i've lost weight too quickly, or when i do a sensible but tough workout regime, it makes me spot midcycle, which never happens otherwise. after lots of checks at the gynae, the conclusion was that the fat burning was making the fat disappear, and in turn releasing the hormones that were stored in it.

however, i have absolutely no idea if this could affect the baby in any way; if i had to guess i'd say not, as it's a natural hormone that's in your body anyway, but it would be just my guess.

i think we're not supposed to diet when pregnant unless under supervision because of the risk that we don't eat enough or miss vital nutrients.

Stinkersmum · 17/04/2015 09:54

You can 'diet' whilst pregnant. It's not just about quantity but also actually what you're eating. My nausea only disappeared if I slept or ate. So I ate carrot sticks, pepper sticks, grapes, clementines etc rather that sweets, crisps and other sugary/fatty food.

Teeste · 17/04/2015 09:57

Meh. I was 19 stone ish (5'7'', BMI of 41) when I conceived at age 34. I have PCOS and losing weight is hard for me. Having struggled with my weight all my life, I'm loathe to let it hold me back in anything I really want.

I'm now 31 weeks and have had a very bog standard pregnancy, despite all the dire warnings, consultant-led care and extra scans and so on. No GD, minimal morning sickness, BP is OK, not even a UTI. Yes, health recommendations are well meant, and yes, this is just one story and the plural of anecdote is not data, but I'd say if you want a baby, go for it. There's so much negativity towards people with weight issues in general as it is, I don't feel you need to add to it yourself. Something like 50% of pregnant women are overweight and they seem to be doing OK. It's not ideal, but it is OK.

Plus, you may have fertility problems and you won't know until you TTC. The earlier these are diagnosed, the better chance you have of sorting them out. If these potential problems are found to be weight-related, you will then have your answer! Good luck :)

Number3cometome · 17/04/2015 10:11

Stinkersmum, yes that's all well and good if you are feeling those foods, but if the only thing you can bare to stomach is salt and vinegar crisps or something fatty then dieting will not work.

Stinkersmum · 17/04/2015 10:16

I could eat salt & vinegar crisps with a 32 pack of laughing cow triangles any hour of the day. But I choose not to. Pregnancy for me is not an excuse to stuff your face with whatever you want and then blame pregnancy for getting fat.

Superexcited · 17/04/2015 10:21

Lots of women lose weight in early pregnancy and the babies are not affected by the release of toxinsHmm
I lost over half a stone in the first trimester. I wasn't trying to lose weight I just couldn't eat as much as normal as I would feel full very quickly. The midwife wasn't concerned and said as long as I don't lose weight in later pregnancy then all will be fine. The worry of people not gaining enough weight is that the baby won't receive sufficient nourishment to grow properly but that is really a concern mainly for people who are underweight to begin with.

kelman13 · 17/04/2015 10:26

You do what you wish to do my dear! We could all be a little lighter or a little richer etc etc! If you feel you could cope then go for it! I'm slightly heavier than I'd like to be! I am currently 6w+1 but so happy! I didn't want to wait till I was a slender size 10 or 10 grand in my bank they ain't gonna happen!! good luck!xx

Number3cometome · 17/04/2015 10:29

Stinkersmum nor is it for me, but after suffering from HG so badly I couldn't even keep water down, to then only even being able to stomach certain foods, I wasn't about to start thinking "Oh I had better swap that for a carrot stick or a slice of celery instead"

It's not always about choice, clearly you haven't been unfortunate enough to have felt so sick at the sight of most food which is good, but not everyone is the same.

We don't all go out thinking "im going to stuff my face"

Hmm
BallroomWithNoBalls · 17/04/2015 10:35

I think diet really intensely for 6 months, then start trying regardless of how much / little you have lost. Work out, look after yourself and be body conscious and you will be in a better place to be pregnant Smile

You don't have to wait two years. Make the positive lifestyle change now, get outside and moving and drink loads of water, you'll feel better almost immediately. Be strict with yourself, you have something wonderful to aim for.

NickyEds · 17/04/2015 12:51

I'd start healthy eating and doing lots of exercise now and ttc in a few months. You might lose weight during your pregnancy, you might not, you might eat very well, you might not. In my first pregnancy I had a BMI of 29 on booking in but I was really active and fit. I lost "me" weight during my pregnancy, probably due to staying active, not drinking and eating pretty well. This time my BMI was 30 (ds was 10 months when I fell pregnant and I'm 27 weeks now) but I was no where near as fit. I got terrible morning sickness for the first 3 months, couldn't get out to exercise much and only felt better eating pasta, white bread etc so i've put on weight. Carrying whilst unfit and heavier (if only a little) is much harder for me. I'm more tired and cumbersome. It's not about having a downer on being over weight-I've genuinely found it harder and I think that has a fair amount to do with my fitness and activity levels.

Original poster
pollypocket123 · 17/04/2015 18:29

Thanks for all your replies. Each was useful...apart from perhaps the toxins bit! I know what I need to do and today is the first day of a positive change. Thanks. Any more advice/thoughts/stories to share very much welcome.

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MuddyWellyNelly · 17/04/2015 18:46

As someone who started TTC at 35, (nothing to do with weight), it took us 4 years and eventually using donor egg to conceive. So don't just assume it will happen when you are ready. Might be worth thinking about getting a fertility "mot" (Antral follicle count and amh blood test for example) which would give you some idea as to whether waiting is an option.

Lots of people conceive easily at 35. But I was ridiculously healthy in all other ways, had normal cycles etc, and couldn't. A couple of years earlier would likely have made all the difference.

Best of luck with both things :)

Original poster
pollypocket123 · 17/04/2015 21:48

Thank you Nelly, wise words!

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Purpleball · 17/04/2015 21:55

This was my choice too overweight now or lose weight and be older. I went for the latter and didn't lose the weight. I'm now older and pregnant and haven't lost any weight.

If you can commit yourself and lose the weight then I'd advise to do so. I had too much else going on and it just didn't happen

I'm now getting fatter and don't have a neat bump like others at the same stage which is a bit gutting but totally my fault