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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

When will my sex drive come back? Is this lack of interest normal?

11 replies

LilacWine7 · 10/04/2015 17:22

I have completely lost interest in sex. Im 15 weeks and all my friends say their sex-drive came back at start of second trimester, many say sex was better than ever during pregnancy!

I just don't want to be touched intimately or kissed at the moment. I don't have much of a bump yet but I feel queasy all the time and I'm still vomiting a lot (HG). In between bouts of queasiness I feel exhausted and have no time or energy for DH. I don't even want foot-massages or for him to see me naked. He says he feels neglected and pushed away.

Any tips for how to get through this, and how to maintain intimacy with partner when I feel too ill and grumpy for sex? Or should I just have sex anyway to keep the peace? We've only had it 4x since conception!

OP posts:
ambientolf · 10/04/2015 18:37

I'm 18 weeks & exactly the same so following with interest. I love my DP so much (possibly more since getting pregnant!) but have 0 interest in sex.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 10/04/2015 18:39

Mine came back in the third trimester. Then disappeared for a year !

scarednoob · 10/04/2015 19:11

oh god me too. my poor OH, we haven't DTD since we got the BFP in january. i just feel desperately unsexy and i am also (i know totally incorrectly and irrationally!) worried that it might make me cramp up or bleed a bit. the pregnancy book said, don't worry, your baby might feel the waves, but he won't know what's going on - which didn't help, it made me feel like an exhibitionist!!!

CityDweller · 10/04/2015 20:10

No, you shouldn't have sex to keep the peace! Your DP needs to realise that you're going through some massive hormonal and physical changes and try to be a bit more understanding. If I was being pestered for sex in the first trimester I'd completely flip out and it would turn me off even more.

I'm 14 weeks now and sex drive has come back a bit, but I'm still a bit squeamish about being touched. It's a bit weird.

Focusfocus · 10/04/2015 20:21

Neither of us are interested in it tbh at the moment, I am ten weeks. He never had a very high drive, and is much more a cuddly bloke, and I once had a high drive but it has always been higher when flying solo if you see what I mean, instead of with someone. So we are just not having sec at the mo. We cuddle loads, lots of naked time together, massages, rubs, and that's really lovely. Sex is too much pressure sometims!! Let yourself be at the moment, you're growing a new person, plenty of time for sex!

MistressKatherine · 10/04/2015 20:30

I'm 30 weeks and the husband won't come near me. He hasn't been able to get away from the fact there's a third person in the room, even when I was barely showing. To be honest it's very upsetting and makes me feel neglected and horrible. But it's the way it is. I tried talking to him about it but if he can't get round it then that's that. It affects people in different ways. And it sounds like your body isn't ready for it yet so don't fret. It will come back!

MissTwister · 10/04/2015 21:48

There's very little about pregnancy conducive to sex IMO!

mrshjb · 11/04/2015 01:34

DS is 14 weeks and it still hasn't come back for me! Definitely didn't feel right during pregnancy and now I'm scared it'll hurt! I'll have to brave it one day.....!!

Roseybee10 · 11/04/2015 02:57

It took til about 25 weeks both times for me. Then hubby wasn't keen lol.

Mrshjb - lube and wine. I was really nervous but got it out the way quickly both times lol.

Fluffeh · 11/04/2015 07:00

I'm 35 weeks and haven't had the energy or inclunation to have sex since very early in the first trimester. To be fair though I'm really suffering with spd and just sitting or standing hurts like hell. I can't imagine trying to get into a comfy position to even try and have sex.
I do feel for dp as when I was pregnant with dd my sex drive was through the roof and we were both expecting the same this time but it just hasn't happened. I can't even get comfortable enough to cuddle him and hate massage etc so the intimacy is definitely lacking for us right now.

scatterbrainedlass · 11/04/2015 08:42

I have a pretty low sex drive right now, we maybe have sex once a week, used to be about 3 times a week before. First time we had sex after I knew I was pregnant I was kinda nervous, he did go a bit a deep and it hurt a bit and actually scared me. I suppose knowing there's something in there that could get hurt made it worse somehow? Now I'm not too bothered, we have had sex and nothing bad has happened, I think it was just that first time.

DH is getting a bit frustrated, for us it's lack of communication as much as anything else. I'm not naturally turned on now, I need kisses and touching to get me interested, but sometimes I'm knackered or don't feel great and don't really want him near me apart from for a cuddle. Its hard for both of us, I feel bad for him, but don't want to 'go along with it to keep him quiet', that's not fair on either of us. I'm hoping I'll get really horny in the 2nd tri, nearly there!!

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