Should i spill the beans?

[strawberrysundae]

im 5+4 weeks and had a m/c over Xmas, so we are overjoyed. I have told a close friend but wanted to keep it from family until later because they will be so excited for us. However, my brother is getting married at 12 weeks and I am a bridesmaid. I went for my dress fitting and it was already tight (probably more so that iv eaten a lot this week!) but I won't be getting any smaller will I? We originally agreed to spill the beans to my parents, brother and wife-to-be at 8 weeks just before I go on the hen as it will be to difficult to hide the non drinking for 3 nights away. However now I'm feeling guilty about the dress so we are considering telling them this weekend. I don't want to give her unnecessary stress so close to the wedding and she'll know I have known and not said anything. Any advice?!

A good friend of mine once told me that if youre thinking of telling people that you're PG, think about would you tell them if you'd had a MC. The reason many people keep schtum until 12 weeks is the risk of something happening. So ultimately if you don't mind your brother & SIL knowing if something goes wrong then I'd tell them.

Don't mean to sound doom & gloom about it, just practical! I'm 8+4 and all of our immediate families know. I've a two day hen party coming up when I'm 11 weeks so I'll probably have to spill the beans to a few more people then. Like you said you're not going to get away with it on the hen party.....

I'd tell just the bride to be and partner. Then they can understand why you may be behaving differently. Also, sounds terrible to mention it but if anything bad happens (massive fingers crossed not) then you don't have to explain being pg right at the wedding date. Explain you don't want it broadcast but thought she plotld know you're not being funny. Congratulations though!!

Congratulations! May this be a sticky one for you.
As well as the good advice above, do your brother and his wife to be know about the miscarriage? This might make a difference whether you tell them this time.
Having been a bride with a pregnant bridesmaid I found it quite stressful and if I'm honest I'd be tempted to say don't tell them but have a word with the dressmaker or whoever is altering the dress. As the wedding is so early in the pregnancy although you may be feeling a bit bigger it may not be as noticeable to others so you could get away with just getting the dress let out. The bride has enough to think about in these last few weeks and will be looking forward to being the centre of attention on her big day without adding worrying about you to the mix. And as for the hen do, you can get by without drinking particularly as a bridesmaid because you need to keep a clear head to organise everything.
Good luck whatever you decide and congrats again x

I was in s similar situation. Told dressmaker right away who said there was no problem with dress because of timings and then told bride at 10 weeks which was earlier than I had wanted but felt it was the right thing to do

Thanks ladies. They do know about the miscarriage and I would tell them if I had another one. I couldn't tell them and not my parents, as my parents would be upset that they weren't told first. My hubby is now saying that he would like to tell his brother and parents too if we do tell them though as he feels it unfair to tell my family and not his, at which point the numbers of people who know are multiplying! But they are all people who know about the first m/c & we would tell if the worst happened this time. I don't think the dress can be let out unfortunately, and she already said she can't get any bigger sizes, so I would need a completely different dress or to step back from being a bridesmaid. If o don't tell her now when do I? I feel it's unfair to drop it on her a few weeks before when she's supposed to be winding down and enjoying herself

Also the lady doing the alterations is a close friend of hers (and knows lots of our friends) so I couldn't garuntee the news wouldn't travel. I would rather be the one to break the news

Is there anyway she could put a panel of material in the dress to allow for more room? or if its a zip back change it for corseted? again to allow a bit more give? am just throwing this out as obviously no idea what style dress you have.

You may need to tell her anyway, my cousin was bridesmaid in her firat trimester and was late to the getting ready part of the day as she had her head down the toilet being sick. Not everyone gets MS but if you do it'll be easier if she is pre warned. My best friend pulled out of being bm for my wedding, It didn't bother me as I was happy for her, also didn't stress me out. Was just one of those things :)