Well title says it all really. Not sure why i'm writing it on here but she has helped me so much today emotionally and I hope to heaven my girls will feel the same about me when I they are older
Well I have been seriously struggling with the idea of having a 3rd child and ending up alone again. I have been up one end of the scale of being over the moon about this baby and then at the other with "oh my god I will not be able to cope" and going in to a bad depression about it and being addiment that i'm not having the baby which then breaks my heart. Another of this issue is the fear of my partner doing what my ex husband has done with my dd's and basically abandon them (see's them a couple of weeks a year) although DP and I will be living 100's of miles apart anyway.
Anyway I had a really bad flip out this morning after obsessing lastnight about not coping and on visiting my mum this morning she got the brunt of it which was very thoughless of me as she is a foster carer and had her charge there. Anyway I left in floods of tears feeling alone although I knew it wasn't right or my mothers fault any of this.
Well my wonderful mother has just popped round and gave me a huge cuddle and kiss, then handed me a bag with the contents of 1 tiny baby gro in it and said "thats what I think you should do and you know I will be there for you"
Bloody hell i'm such a soft ass am sat here crying because I can't belive how lucky I am to have her in my life...
Ahhh blummin hormones Grrr
Not sure if anyone will read this like I said before just wanted to get it out.