Sick with worry - please help!

[Flora2212]

Hi all,

I'm probably going to sound completely mad but I am desperate for advice and help as my OH thinks I'm being irrational and paranoid. And I probably am but it doesn't stop my brain whirring away like no business and making me feel like I've ruined our chance of having a healthy baby.

I'm around 6 weeks pregnant and last night I cooked a lovely lamb casserole. The meat was thoroughly cooked and I was careful to wash the veggies. However, although I remember washing my hands after handling the meat I'm worried that I transfered bacteria (namely toxoplasmosis) onto the tap and recontaminated my hands after switching off the water and then put them to my mouth and infected myself and my LO. Does that sound crazy? I am at my wits end with anxiety, have been crying hysterically, etc. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts? I'm so sorry if I sound nuts, I just can't believe what I've done and am tying myself in knots.

Thank you xx

Thank you 83ash for your kind advice. I will certainly look into getting some help. I think the problem is that with the internet there is just an unbelievable amount of information out there which, although in most cases has good intentions, worries the absolute life out of pregnant women. There are so many things that before getting pregnant you wouldn't have thought twice about doing / eating but suddenly they pose a 'risk'. I have never felt so paranoid and scared in all my life. I dread to think how much time I've wasted fretting.

I am so pleased you're starting to feel better now and wish you a calm, relaxed and healthy pregnancy. You're halfway there! I think I'm starting to stray into OCD territory - I thoroughly Dettol-ed the kitchen tonight, including the cupboard handles! I long for the day when I feel relaxed, reassured and calm about my little lentil. He/she has such a long way still to go and I am petrified of damaging the precious little one!

That's so sweet of you 83ash. I will definitely do that if you don't mind. I am exhausted with all the worrying and stress but knowing that there is someone going through the same thing as me makes me feel so much better. I really am very grateful.

I doubt very much my anxiety levels will lessen - my whole life I've been a worrier and perfectionist. Pregnancy has just made it immeasurably worse! I find myself searching for things I've done that could have put the baby at risk - it's so tiring and taking all the fun and excitement out of what should be an incredibly happy event. I'm bound to be spoiling it for my DH too which is the last thing I'd ever want.

You have given me so much faith and I really do appreciate your help and advice.

I had a blood test for toxo too when I was pregnant because I worried about an incident so much. I hasn't had it either despite living with cats and loving rate steak so just goes to show you how rare it is to catch.

I actually found that I had a very limited diet throughout pregnancy because I daren't eat fruit or salad that I hadn't prepared myself (ie that I know had been thoroughly washed) and I worried about meat a lot too. I remember panicking at a BBQ in the summer because I was worried that because we were eating outside that toxo would have somehow got on the food. I didn't even touch the BBQed meat! But this is no way to be and was exhausting so you Must keep it in check. I recommend getting a CBT book because it'll teach you techniques to deal with the anxiety and as a result you'll be able to enjoy your pregnancy so much more.

Flora, you can message me too anytime- it is also my first pregnancy, I'm 6w+3, and just like you, full of doubts and questions. I spend first half of the day googling, and second half stressing out about what I've read. So please feel free to message me, will be happy to chat.

I was you. I worried about anything. I can pull reassuring statistics on loads of irrational pregnancy worries. See about that CBT but remember you can always come on here and I bet you that someone soul have had the same worry. Talking helps!

83ash, thank you so much, I absolutely will do. So can you (although surely you know much more than me at 21 weeks, but even just for a bit of support)! It's such a relief and reassurance to know there are people out there who are willing to help

I've found this thread so interesting to read. I developed severe anxiety during my pregnancy with DS, 3 years ago. Not about germs though, instead about accidents. By the time I was about 14 weeks along, I had to give up driving and almost had to give up climbing stairs, along with a long list of other constant sources of worry.

I knew it was irrational, but that made no difference at all, it just made me try to hide it at first so DH wouldn't think I was crazy! It would have been so reassuring to have read a thread like this at the time, just to see that I definitely wasn't the only one to feel this way. In the end I couldn't function any more and sobbed it all out to DH, who was incredibly supportive and made sure I got the professional help I needed, which for me involved sessions with a maternity psych and being put on anti-anxiety medication.

My advice - don't try to hide it from OH and make sure you get help as soon as you can (don't assume it will go away by itself). Don't let it spoil the experience of your pregnancy, as it did with me. I'll add myself to the list of people you can PM if you want to ask questions/chat/etc.

And in the meantime, and .

You will be fine. Definitely sounds like you need something for your anxieties and I'm sure you will start to feel less anxious about things. Don't think for one minute you sound stupid I've been where you are and I know how you feel. The quicker you nip it in the bud the better so make a doctors appointment Asap xxxx