Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

partner who is not the baby's father........ childish and lazy

22 replies

sianilovesbeingamummy · 31/03/2015 16:13

How would other pregnant women feel?
I have 2 children, 1 aged 3 and 1 at 22 months and I am currently 30 weeks pregnant.

I spend my days taking the children to different activities and also looking after my sisters chidren, who are the same age as my own kids!!

I come home to find my partner has done nothing but watch films all day, everyday!! He is unemployed!!!!!

I have started to now get a little narked with his laziness, literally not a dish done or a brush swept over the floor!!! These past few days I have been very distant with him and just expressed my disgust at his lazy attitude with everything!!! He is blaming this on my hormones...... my hormone levels are fine, my being a mug levels are not!!!

He has come out now with "it isn't my job to deal with your hormones, I'm not the reason you are pregnant so go and blame it on the one who it"!!!!! This for me is kind of the last straw I think..... I am more than willing to go through pregnancy on my own and I now don't want him attending any appointments with me! I am high risk and have weekly appointments which I have always attended alone or with my mother! Tomorrow would be the first appointment I have asked him to come with me to but now I seriously dont want him there. I dont see why I should allow him to after the comment he has made. To me he has basically said, he ain't the baby's father so he ain't interested!!!!! Am I over reacting do you think?

OP posts:

dreamingbohemian · 31/03/2015 16:16

Why are you even with him?

He doesn't work, he doesn't do anything around the house, and he talks to you like crap. Might as well bin him and get on with things.

Heels99 · 31/03/2015 16:18

Dump him and start using contraceptives.

madreloco · 31/03/2015 16:19

I think you are under-reacting. But why do you move him in so quickly in the first place, or indeed at all? It doesn't sound like he has any good qualities.

expatinscotland · 31/03/2015 16:19

What a loser. You don't need him, or any man. Bin.

2015isgoingtobeBIG · 31/03/2015 16:20

I'm with the PP. If he's not the father to any of your children and he doesn't give you anything positive, only negative comments, then why are you sticking by him? It's not like this is going to get better once there's a newborn on the scene

Number3cometome · 31/03/2015 16:20

You're not with my ex by any chance are you?

Get out whilst you still can. Took me 13 years of hair loss, stress and anxiety to do it.

Now with new OH (well not new, but newer than the old one)
Currently 24+2, he is looking after my other two children as we speak (i'm at work) and guaranteed the house will be looking clean when I get home

(OH is a teacher, that's why he is at home)

Stinkylinky · 31/03/2015 16:21

What does he have to offer if he doesn't help out round the house or work?

His attitude towards you sounds disrespectful to me.

Get rid OP x

TheJiminyConjecture · 31/03/2015 16:22

If he's not the father of the unborn baby then you must have moved him in fairly quickly. I'd get him moved out just as quick, he sounds bloody useless.

Number3cometome · 31/03/2015 16:22

OK so just read that he is not the baby's father - I also have to ask why are you living with another man so soon??

Original poster

sianilovesbeingamummy · 31/03/2015 16:25

I would like to stress that the father of my unborn is the father of my children, we broke up before I knew I was pregnant. The pregnancy was a result of the coil dislodging so precautions were in place! I was more than happy to face things alone but meeting OH seemed good at the time!!! He was/is great with my children but I just dont feel it enough when responsibilities need to be taken hold of. Think I knew my answer before entering this threat I just wondered if i was over reacting. I didnt come on here to be judged!

OP posts:

Original poster

sianilovesbeingamummy · 31/03/2015 16:27

He is someone I have known for quite some time but I guess you don't really get to know a person until you live with them in this sense!!! He hasnt been moved in long and the only reason it has come about quicker than normal is because of the distance really.

OP posts:

madreloco · 31/03/2015 16:28

You've been with him a couple of months and moved him. Now he's proved to be a useless lazy arse.
What exactly did you expect people to say?

CinnabarRed · 31/03/2015 16:29

It's way too early to move him in (or even change his status in the eyes of your children). Get him out.

Number3cometome · 31/03/2015 16:31

I remember you posting before saying you wasn't sure if it was your ex's or father of your children's baby.

No one is being nasty, but if you are saying that you split up with your children's father by the time you were pregnant (pretty sure I remember you posting before being 8 weeks or something?) and now are 30 weeks and living with someone else who you are not happy with, then I guess the advice is bound to be that you have moved too quickly, and to get him out again.

Sounds to me like you need support and help - it's not easy being on your own, i've been there, and I actually met my current partner not long after splitting with my ex (although was quite a bit longer before we moved in together). I think you are craving the wrong sort of help - this man will be a hindrance to you, get rid and focus on the kiddies [flowers}

Number3cometome · 31/03/2015 16:32

(epic fail by me there)

bloodyteenagers · 31/03/2015 16:37

So in the space of 6 months, you have got pregnant, dumped that guy and moved in another bloke?
This bloke is a lazy disrespectful idiot who you think Is a good role model for children?

Wow. Good luck on the Jeremy Kyle show.

ChocolateEggFace · 31/03/2015 16:38

Wow....he has to go.

MaryWestmacott · 31/03/2015 16:52

OP - if you were hoping he'd be a father figure to your DC3, you were wrong. You will be a single mother of 3, doing all the parenting alone, if he's in the house or if he's not. If he's there, you'l have extra work as he's clearly of hte opinion you should look after him too.

Get him out, agree with others, it was far too soon to bring him into your home and from an outsider point of view, it looks like you panicked about being alone and let the first bloke who showed interest into your family set up rather than do it alone. It must be very confusing for your other DCs.

I would say get him out now, so at least there's a few weeks before the new baby comes for your other DCs to get used to this change in their family before the next change.

Then for goodness sake, no more major changes to your poor DCs lives until the new baby is at least 6 months old, no moving anyone else in, or relocating, or anything else going on for them to deal with. They need some stability. If you date someone else (or even get back together with this one), keep them as not part of your DCs day to day life for a long time.

scarednoob · 31/03/2015 16:52

if you think he has good qualities, i think you need to tell him that he has to get his act together or it's over. if he does, happy days.

if he doesn't, well, he needn't let the door kick him in the arse on the way out.

Gemerama · 31/03/2015 16:54

This reply has been deleted

This poster has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to remove this now.

Quitelikely · 31/03/2015 17:01

Thank your lucky stars you have seen who he really is so quickly.

It can be hard work going from no kids to two and a pregnant girlfriend in QuickTime but his attitude and approach is not one that is compatible with running a home and three children.

Btw don't believe his promises to change when you threaten to kick him out. He won't change.

Trunkisareshite · 31/03/2015 20:24

So all three children have the same bio dad but he is not your live in boyfriend?

Can I suggest moving the boyfriend out and concentrating on the kids and your pregnancy?

Your kids will have experienced enough upheaval without mummy moving her new bloke in ASAP and have more to come in the form of a new sibling.

If I've read it wrong I appoligise, if I've got it right then really, you need to prioritise. You say your mum helps with appointments so you're not alone. The last thing you need in your situation is a fourth child in the form of a fully grown bloke to look after as well.

Flip