Tell me its okay!

[Emilyjane11]

Hi ladies,

I swear pregnancy is making me a paranoid wierdo. I need some reassurance.

I am 26 weeks pregnant this week and have been suffering with spd for about 3 weeks. Badly. I am not sleeping and yesterday I couldnt weight bare at all. It seems to be very unpredicatable and some days I can walk around with little to no pain and others I cant get up the stairs at all without crying in pain and it taking half a day. I am seeing a chiropractor privatley for the pain which seems to help for a day or so.

Anyway, I had last week off work, I work 10 hours a day and an hour commute each end of the day. Its an office job but I cannot bear to sit down for that long. Occupational health have done a report on me after speaking to me on Friday and said my return to work date is unclear.

I am going to my gps on Wednesday to see if theres anything else I can do. Im hoping he will sign me off. I dont plan on returning to work this as I physically dont think I can do it. But I feel guilty, my boss is arsey and talk to me on the phone like im lying and awaiting his call (every other day) when im off sick is making me anxious.

Did anyone else take a while off work? I plan on taking 3.5 weeks annual leave in 6 weeks and then starting my maternity Leave so I dont have much time left in work but im really struggling. Thanks

[Trooperslane]

It's ok. Well, it isn't.

You shouldn't be made to feel guilty about this - your boss is an arse and I'd love to see how they were coping with a 12 hour day when their pubic bone is trying to come apart!

(Sorry).

Take the time off. You need it and you're entitled to it

Think how much better you'll feel with all that rest

Also, is your physio properly qualified on pregnancy related stuff? V important.

Take care for you and for your boss.

[Emilyjane11]

Thank you. I think I need to be selfish and just be off until I feel confident I can go back and if that means taking a few weeks off then so be it.

Yeah the chiropractor im seeing is pregnancy qualified. Shes ace.

I think I needed someone to tell me it was okay to be off work. As ridiculous as that sounds x

[Seasidedolly]

My best friend got signed off just before Xmas at about 28 weeks and didn't return to work. Remember that they can't make you automatically start mat leave until 4 weeks before your DUE date, there was some confusion in our work place with HR thinking it was 4 weeks before the mat leave start date.
hope you start feeling a bit better soon, my friend had her little girl 3 weeks ago by C section (because she was breech, not to do with the SPD) and I know she's very glad for the SPD to be behind her

[Emilyjane11]

Ah thanks for that and congratulations to your friend. Hopefully my gp will sign me off which will enable me to relax a bit. Im going at 31 weeks anyway so I dont think theres anything they can do.

Another thing that doesnt help is that my work dont accept sick notes. Dont ask. They are a major energy company so I dont know how they will get away with it but they do. They accept you wont be in work but they dont allow the sick note to go in your file.

[Rebecca1608]

I was signed off work for 2 1/2 weeks due to dizziness (anemia) I was given iron tablets which helped then thought I'd be able to keep going in work until end of April. However, in the mean time I've also suffered from spd and can barely get around. I'm in agony, I've only got 8 days left in work. I have 3 weeks annual leave first then my maternity starts. It's fine to be off work, your and your babys health comes first.

[Emilyjane11]

When are you due? Are you still off sick or are you powering through? My babys health does come first. Im definitley going to stick to my guns xx

[Rebecca1608]

My due date is July 3rd but due to twin pregnancy I'm going in for a section at 36 weeks so beginning of June. I'm back at work but finish next week. Can't go any more. I didn't really wanna go back after being on the sick but I was threatened with because I was over a certain about of weeks work would start my maternity early. So I'm finishing early instead and using annual leave then starting my maternity. It's so tiring. You do what's best for you and your baby. X

[Emilyjane11]

Im due july 8th. Good luck with your twins,how exciting :)

I will do, im due to go on 8th may, thats when my annual leave starts I think ill just play it by ear, what I dont want to do is go back and then end up off again a few days later. We Shall see!

Thanks

[Stinkylinky]

I'm 26 weeks tomorrow and suffering badly with sciatica. I'm the same as you OP, some days I am fine and others I just cannot walk. Last night my DP had to help me up the stairs and carry me to bed the best he could. My boss is also being an arsehole difficult by asking me to work extra hours (unpaid) and do things that aren't in my job description because we are short staffed and is funny with me if I say no. Arranging my mat leave and annual leave was a nightmare because they haven't organised anyone to cover my role (they've known I'm pregnant since Nov/Dec)

I was getting really stressed over it but trying to let it all go over my head now and keep concentrating on the fact that I won't be here much longer and I will have a beautiful baby boy to focus on

[Emilyjane11]

Wow, your boss does sound an arse. I think you said it all I do need to remind myself that I will soon have my baby and non of it will matter. Xx

[Stinkylinky]

As if on cue, he has just been in my office blaming me for something that's gone wrong which I pointed out to him a month ago would happen if he didn't manage it then but he over ruled my opinion and now its all gone pete tong! I just switch off now.

I hope you are feeling better soon x

[Emilyjane11]

Gosh he sounds like a lovely man!! I envy your ability to let it go over your head. Take care of yourself too xx

[teejayem]

I was in a really similar place to you OP - Am due early June & already got a pre existing back condition that had started to niggle, although I was hoping to power through to 34 weeks and take annual leave before maternity, but I got to 24 weeks and I could barely walk, SPD came on almost overnight and I have horrendous nerve pain as well to boot, can't roll over in bed, even getting one foot infant of the other is sometimes a struggle. I went to the doctor with the intention of asking for some painkillers and a physio referral and he took one look at me and told me I absolutely should not be working, and the best thing I could do was go home and do nothing. He signed me off initially for a week, and told me to come back if it wasn't better, I did, and have been signed off since (Am now 30 weeks).

I had the guilts about work as well - I've not been back since that original appointment! but they have been surprisingly okay about it. I'm taking my annual leave allowance (5 weeks) from Monday, so my ML will start when I'm 35 weeks. There is no way I could have carried on (High pressure Desk job with a 2 hour commute into London) I feel like I've been squashed by a bus most days and DP has to help me get dressed. I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't have the control over the timing of my leave, but ultimately I had to put mine & my baby's health first, and I would never have forgiven myself if I'd had had an accident getting on or off a tube or something. You don't get any medals for being a hero and struggling on at work, they won't thank you for it!

[NeuroticFox1]

OP Just wanted to agree with other posts on here and say take the time you need and dont worry about work. Your boss should be ashamed to be basically using emotional blackmail - very unprofessional of them. The sick note thing sounds like another case of them guilt tripping people. Dont put up with it. Rest up and i hope u feel better soon :)

[Skiptonlass]

You need to take the time you need to ensure your health and sanity are protected. Full stop. I know that's easier said than done, and I'm dreading telling my boss I'm pregnant.

Do they not have sick notes at all, or is that just for the seven day self certification?

Either way, get the sick note and make sure there's an email sent to your boss plus your HR person clearly detailing the reason for absence and the link to the pregnancy.

Your boss sounds about as delightful as mine - maybe we could set them up on a date...? ;)

[Emilyjane11]

Haha skiptonlass. Lets do it!

They dont accept them full stop, I emailed my gp this morning and will be seeing them on Wednesday so im hoping they give me a sick note, even if work dont accept them it will just make me feel better that someone has my back and agrees with me.

I have just got back from a chiropractor appointment that I sobbed throughout with pain so im worn out now!

Thanks everyone for your messages I am a worried and needed the reassurance you have given me x

[IvegotaCaveTroll]

I was signed of at 28 weeks- pre-existing back pain and vomiting. I felt guilty but there's nothing you can do about it and u and baby come first.

Ur boss is an idiot.