Gender mixed emotions.

[Irelephant]

I had a scan today at 17 weeks. It was an extra scan due to a previous late misscarriage.

I have two daughters my son was sadly born too early too survive. We found out today it's another boy.

I feel like shit. Cried on and off all bloody night. Utterly convinced myself it was another girl and absolutely terrified I miscarry again.

Doesn't help the amount of people that told me I must be one of these people that can't carry boys.

It's in no way gender dissapointment I love my girls but I loved my son and now I feel that it's almost like I'm replacing him if that makes sense.

Has anyone ever been through similar and if so how did you get through it. Does it get easier ?

I've no experience of this but didn't want to read and run. I'm sure you know logically that you aren't replacing your son, but logic isn't always the foremost reaction in these situations.

Perhaps it would be worth talking to your midwife, as some counselling before the birth may be beneficial.

And as for the comments re not being able to carry boys... Wow. Some people are unbelievably cruel. Or stupid. Or both.

Wishing you an uneventful pregnancy. .

i'm sorry for your loss. xxx

You will not be replacing anyone, just like if you were having a girl you wouldn't be taking the love of your other 2 girls.

I hope this pregnancy is uneventful.

xxx

The "can't carry boys" thing is a cruel old wives tale. Ignore it as much as anyone can when carrying after loss.

Sorry for your loss - as said earlier, 'can't carry boys' is a massively stupid, insensitive thing to say. And even if there was any truth in it (there isn't!) it's even more stupid to say it after one loss. It just happened.

I'm sure it will get easier once you have had time to get used to the idea - and think of your baby as a separate, new, person.

Irelephant, I've had a lot of the 'you probably can't carry girls' comments (after 2 boys and 4 miscarriages). I'm 34 weeks on Sunday - with a girl :-).

As for 'replacing' your son, I'm not sure that that could ever happen, your new baby is your new baby, and just like you had more love to go around when you had your second child, you'll have even more love to go around when you have your 4th baby, it won't be a replacement.

Best of luck xx

Thanks everyone. I have calmed down a lot today. I'm going to look into counselling I didn't after it happened but I didn't expect to fall pregnant so soon.

It helps that DP is very excited 9 years he has been outnumbered.