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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Telling siblings about expected baby

9 replies

OMGBabyNo3 · 25/03/2015 22:29

So we had our 12 weeks scan today and all looking good which is great news. Already have DS8 and DD5 and will be telling them tomorrow. A third was never on the cards for DH and I (whoops!) but know the children are going to be thrilled. Also expecting some questions about how the baby got in there etc...I'm a great believer in not lying to children BUT I want to make sure I give them enough info to keep them happy in an age appropriate way (that DD isn't going to get Into trouble for telling all her friends in the playground or get me into trouble with their mums !!). Any tips from anyone particularly those who have been there would be gratefully received! Thanks.

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fixuplooksharp · 26/03/2015 09:08

Hey! Congrats :)
I am rubbish at this sort of thing but I feel the same about not lying and giving them silly answers, it's best to give them some info, but not too much. So because I am rubbish at this, I would totally bottle it and get an age appropriate book, then go through it with them as and when they ask.
Sorry if thats not much help, but that's how I would do it. I am 17 weeks with DC3 too, I have a DS2 and DS6, the eldest is starting to ask questions. Waterstones here I come!

worriedmum100 · 26/03/2015 09:21

We told DS (nearly 4) the other day as I have started showing. We just said that mummy had a baby in her tummy and that he would be having a baby brother. It seemed to go over his head but he's asked a few questions since such as "how does it get out?" . I stumbled a bit but said something like "mummy will go to hospital and the doctors will help me push the baby out" He then asked why the doctors didn't just " open my tummy" to which I said "we'll sometimes they do and that's how you were born" .He was happy with that and wandered off to be spiderman!

I guess you just tell the truth as best you can in an age appropriate way. There are probably some good children's books on the topic but I've not looked yet.

RhiannonElward · 26/03/2015 09:29

Hi there, I have DS5 and DD2 and I'm expecting number 3 (11 weeks). I told my kids early because of the morning sickness, I thought they were worrying about me. They've been over the moon and my son especially has had a lot of questions. I've watched One Born Every Minute with them so that they understand what happens and the questions about how the baby got there, I told them that Mammy and Daddy decided to put one there and so far that seems to have been enough. I had to wing it, it took me by surprise. There may well be further questions and I don't want to tell him the entire truth, but I don't believe in telling them nonsense either.

It's amazing to have them so excited, I found a rattle under my son's pillow which he said he was keeping for when the baby is born. Also, my mother asked him where the baby was going to sleep and he said "there's room for the cot in my bedroom but if the baby cries it can cwtch in my bed if it wants to" (excuse the Welshisms, cwtch is cuddle). It melts me to hear him talk like that.

When I was having DD I felt bad for DS, he was an only child and I was turning his world upside down, he took a little while to adjust, this time around I know they're thrilled and it's so lovely to not have to worry so much and to know that I've done the right thing by having another.

worriedmum100 · 26/03/2015 09:42

Rhiannon - I can really relate to what you've said about turning the world of the one you've got upside down. We struggled for years for me to conceive this baby together with 2 miscarriages and various gynaecological surgery. I almost can't believe we've got to this point and it's all I've wanted for 3 years.

But now I find myself looking at DS and thinking "what have we done to him!" His safe and secure little world with his dad and me is going to change forever. He may never forgive us. What if I don't have enough love for them both etc.

I'm hoping it's just hormones and I'll stop worrying about it soon!

RhiannonElward · 26/03/2015 10:42

Worriedmum I didn't stop worrying until after DD was born and seeing the joy on my boy's face. He had it hard through my pregnancy though, I had placenta previa and was hospitalised from 36 weeks, so was in for over 3 weeks, I did everything for him up to that point and we had to get my mil to stay with us (back from France) to look after DS while DP went to work and he didn't take that too well. I was horrified that I'd put him through that, but my children are so close now and get so much out of their relationship that it's been well worth it.

It sounds like you've had an awful time of things, it's no wonder you're worrying, but it'll all be worth it as soon as you see them smiling together. Kids are far more adaptive than we give them credit for, and you're enriching his life with a friend forever. My only advice is to be as inclusive as possible and treat looking after the baby as a job for you and DS to do together so that he feels like an important part of it, my DS has already decided he's going to teach the baby how to play football and he's going to help with bathtime and getting dressed. I can't wait to see his face when baby is born and our new baby will be blessed with a keen workforce at least :)

LostMySocks · 26/03/2015 17:21

The one thing worse than your own child asking is your D Nephew (3.5 at the time) asking how the baby comes out....with neither of his parents there. Aaagh. Had total panic about what his mum would be happy with me saying. Ended up saying there was a special way out and not to worry as my tummy wouldn't explode. He looked rather bored after that. Fortunately his mum was ok with this. Her response is that the doctors and nurses help.

brokencrayons · 26/03/2015 19:20

Daddy gives mummy a seed that grows into a baby in mummy's tummy x

DrCoconut · 26/03/2015 22:29

My DS aged 3 got the idea that babies come from eggs because chicks do. So he now knows that ladies have an egg in their tummy that turns into a baby and then has to grow big enough to be born safely. He knows that ladies have a special place where babies come out and it gives you tummy ache at the time. The actual details of how eggs are fertilised has so far not been questioned.

Chillycamper · 26/03/2015 22:47

My DC had been told that when people wanted a baby the dad put a seed called a sperm into the mummy's special hole called a vagina and it swam to meet the seed in the mummy called an egg and they joined together and grew into a baby.

On telling my eldest 2 the news they said

"When did Daddy put the sperm in?"

ME "Er...about 12 weeks ago."

"Where were we?"

DH "Um...asleep."

"Why didn't you wake us up?" "Was mum awake?"

DH mutters under his breath as an aside "barely"

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