coping with the constant worry

[BuggerLumpsAnnoyed]

I'm 6 weeks gone and a mess. I am so worried that something will go wrong with this very much wanted pregnancy. I'm 27 and have a four year old. Nothing I tell myself stops the worry I just called my sister in tears! It's so long till the 12 week scan. And I know nature will take it'd course and there's nothing I can do.

I'm pretty sure I was like this with my first (all seems a blur now) and am by nature an anxious person. Any tips for calming down will be very much appriciated.

Worrying and stressing out isn't good for you or baby so try and relax I no its hard try talking to you gp or get an appointment with your midwife to talk that's all I can suggest talk to you r partner tell him how you feel a problem shared and all that
Xx

Thank you. I think it's worse today because I'm at work and its quiet. Will talk to DH tonight but probably would of calmed down by then. It's just annoying because I think in the US they have scans at 8 weeks which would make it easier but here it's not till 12 which seems like forever. Thank you xx

No, we don't have scans (if that's what we would call an ultrasound) at 8 weeks in the US. Or at least my OB didn't have me get one. It's chancy to make any sweeping general statements about what happens with health care in the US, because it is so fragmented. It's going to depend on what your doctor recommends, your age, how your pregnancy appears to be doing, and the relative level of evil of your insurance company (they're all evil, but some more so than others). Of course, if you don't have insurance at all, as many people don't, it's even worse.

I'm sure someone in the US has gotten an ultrasound at 8 weeks, but it isn't typical, at least not on my insurance. My first ultrasound was at 11 weeks, and that was because I was having a CVS. At the hospital I go to, they do those between 11 and I think 14 weeks (I didn't really pay attention to the upper limit, because I wanted it as soon as possible. I did it at 11+1). I didn't even have my first OB appointment until around 8 weeks. The receptionist told me when I scheduled the first appointment in my first pregnancy that they don't see women until about 8 weeks.

Oh sorry I just came across that when on Yahoo. Apologies for the error.

Worrying and stressing isn't particularly likely to cause you to have a miscarriage. If you're anxious, sometimes you get into these vicious cycles, where you're anxious, then you're anxious about being anxious. You're almost certainly not hurting your baby by being worried or anxious, so you do not need to worry about that. It's a different story if you're self-medicating your anxiety with something like alcohol, of course, or if you're so anxious that you can't eat or keep food down. Worrying is not helping your baby or you, either, but it isn't actually hurting your baby.

Hi Buggerlumps

I too am an extremely anxious person, and having had a mmc last year I am now an extra 100x more worried that something will go wrong this time!

I couldn't wait for 12 week scan so we have booked a private scan at 8 weeks. Pricey at £99 but I think worth it for a little reassurance. Is a private scan something you would consider?

I won't tell you not to worry as I know how it feels and its not possible, but what might help you is looking up statistics? Also, try and keep yourself busy each day. The more you think about it the worse you feel. If you are able to occupy your mind with something else it might help the days go a little bit quicker :)

Hiya, I'm plagued with worries too so I know how you feel BuggerLumpsAnnoyed , this is a tendency of mine (hence the username!!) My DP pointed out that I don't need to say "all being well" or "fingers crossed" everytime I mention the baby. I can't decide if it helps or makes me worse. The closest to peace of mind I get is to focus on being 'hopeful' that way I'm staying positive without feeling like I'm getting carried away and then panic! I've found mumsnet a god send as its made me feel that my worrying is normal and part of the process! Hope you feel better soon :)

Hi,
I can understand where you are coming from with the anxiety as I had 7 miscarriages and so was hyper anxious constantly.

But, in my last pregnancy I literally took each hour as another hour where nothing had gone wrong.
This then went to a day where everything was ok.
Then a week, and I was then able to take it week by week after the 20 week Mark, I properly relaxed.
I saw my midwife weekly, I went for weekly scans from 7 weeks till 12 weeks, I was elated to feel sick/tired/hormonal and each time I went to the loo and there was no blood, I came out of that loo with a small skip.

Tiny steps was my key.

Thank you guys! I looked up the statistics and in a way it's comforting due to my age and good health and no previous mmc etc. But then I feel guilty for being cocky! Like that's going to make something bad happen!

I will try to chill out. There us nothing I can do and I'm not 12 weeks till 9th of May so I've just got to get on with it!

In the early weeks of my pregnancy, I liked going to this site and watching my odds of a future miscarriage drop.

geeky that's great thanks for sharing that :)

buggarlumps I'm the same age as you and have a 15month old DS (so similar situation) I know how you feel.

I had my 12 week scan last week and it felt like I'd waited 1000 years! I was in hospital with HG with DS so had scans at 6 weeks and 8 weeks so although I was anxious I still had an idea what was going on.

The best advice I can give is to focus on each 'next step' so mine was midwife appointment, then getting my scan date through, then there was the week countdown to the scan itself...

Just helped break up the wait. As you've said in your OP, there's nothing you can do but wait really, but just remind yourself that each day your risks are dropping. I found whenever I started to think about negative possibilities, I tried to distract myself by thinking of something completely un baby related until I felt calmer.

I know it a horrible and you can't really help how you feel. 6 weeks really will go quick and I'm sure it will all be fine.

But then I feel guilty for being cocky! Like that's going to make something bad happen!

It won't. I worried that telling my aunt that I wasn't pregnant (when I was, just not telling people yet) would jinx my pregnancy. It hasn't so far. You just don't have that kind of power. Actually, if you do, I've got a few favours to ask... (please ohplease say that Ted Cruz will not drive into a tank of raw sewage)

We don't get scans here until twenty weeks! And I'm anxious too, so I got a private scan at eight weeks which really helped to calm me. Why don't you look into doing that? It isn't cheap but it was money well spent for me.

The worrying is awful, I stopped googling every little thing which helped me to relax a little. I hope the next few weeks pass quickly for you OP and that everything goes well at your scan x

Thank you guys! I might talk to DH about a private scan but we're trying to save money (for obvious reasons) and he is the most laid back person in the world so explaining why £99 on a scan would be a good investment might be tricky. Another week of me breaking down like a loon though might do the trick!

You're all lovely thank you