Having doubts about number 3

[RingInTheNew]

I'm hoping I can find others who have been in the same boat, I suppose. Not long ago I was reading the 'should I go for baby number 3?' threads and identifying with those who said they always felt there was a child missing from the family and now that I'm expecting number three I'm terrified that it's the wrong decision.

I have two lovely lively boys (7 and 5) and my main concern is messing up everything we already have. I just keep thinking life will be harder, what if there's something wrong with the baby, what if something bad happens to me...I seem to be focusing on every negative outcome and it's making me feel terrible. I'm also 39 but will be 40 when the baby is born so I worry I'm too old. I am 11.5 weeks and have my first scan next week.

Did/does anyone else feel the same and if so, how do you handle it?

Thanks in advance

Some lovely stories here! Making me cry and laugh and feel anxious all at the same time...

Yes, OMG, I am completely carb-crazed too. I am showing already but wondering if it's just all the toast and crisps I'm shovelling down. I too am scared of birth. Wasn't exactly a walk in the park the first two times. I am hoping they might be able to beam the baby up out of my body. C-section has also crossed my mind..

Beaming sounds awesome!! Have also considered asking for a c section as I'm not sure down below can hack it again but not keen on a section either. Am hoping by the time that point comes I will be SOOO fat and miserable I won't care how I have to get it out as long as I can get it out. I bought a nice healthy poached salmon salad for tonight (husband away) and have just out oven on and put 6 cheese stuffed jalapeños in to cook instead. Also showing here though haven't put any weight on yet. Think all my muscles remember before and have fallen to pieces already!

I just had unplanned DD3 and while I was happy on finding on I had MAJOR wobbles towards the end.

Thinking I couldn't hack it, what if there was something wrong (we refused downs testing and I was the wrong side of 35) what if DC3 was high needs baby like DD2??! much the same really.

Dd3 is here now and an absolute joy. Honestly the peace in an otherwise chaotic time of our lives. She could not be more perfect and I love her so very very much.

Good luck. You'll be fine x

28 weeks ish with no 3 here and also had ridiculous amounts of worry interspersed with crapping myself about whether this was a good idea...

It must be A Thing.

Had a fairly rubbish start to the pregnancy with a lot of throwing up lasting for ages. Starting to almost get a bit excited now. I think.

Same here! 27 weeks with baby number 3 and having serious wobbles! Made worse by a house in bits with extension going on, dust everywhere! Had awful morning sickness until 18 wks and now spd :-( Dc are 5 and 2!
It's lovely to hear from those who are loving having baby number 3 though, very comforting. Hoping I can get to a peaceful stage before baby comes cos at the moment I'm in a permanent state of fear! Although we did really want this baby!

I think I felt like you through most of my pregnancy with DC3: would I cope? Had we made the wrong decision? Was something going to be wrong? What about the impact on my other 2DCs etc etc

It wasn't a straightforward pregnancy but the minute he was born I knew 100% it was the right decision to have another child. He is now nearly 2 and just totally adorable and I wouldn't change anything.

In fact, despite all the worry etc it made me realise how much I love having a bigger family and so I am now expecting DC4 and I'm going through all the same emotions again!!

Thanks everyone for your replies. Great to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings and also that the third has been so positive for lots of you. It has cheered me up no end. I shall return to look at this thread whenever I have a wobble again, but for now I am feeling infinitely better so THANK YOU!

I was nearly 41 when dc3 came along (others were 5 and just 3). Though she was planned I spent the first 12 weeks of pregnancy in shock and worried about the impact on Dc 1 & 2. It must be a normal thing. Three children are noisy lovely

Ringinthenew I am in the same position as you! I am 31 weeks pregnant with dc3 and have 7 and 5 year old boys. I am 41 years old!
I have always wanted 3, never nagged about it as we both found 2 hard enough, they are noisy boys and my eldest is particularly demanding and has some behaviour issues but we had a lull in the summer and made a very sudden decision over some beers by the pool. Pregnant 1 week later and I have been worrying ever since. Felt like j am pushing my luck, felt like I am being greedy, felt bloody old! The pregnancy has been harder, I am bigger, I have felt depressed and have questioned why on earth we have done this at this age!!
From the sounds of it this is very normal and to be honest I sort of expected it but when it happens you still feel scared and anxious and worried about the health of the baby. All my friends are past the baby stage and I'm waddling around with the knowledge of what's to come!

Patty - good luck - thanks for the words of empathy!

Yes sorry I re read my post and realised it may not have been the most positive post for you to receive!
It will be wonderful, everyone I know with 3 now felt the same way during pregnancy and of course now feel lucky and wouldn't change a thing.

Any updates anyone? Feeling exactly the same as most of you seemed to. Also got a bee in my bonnet about school fees as the state secondaries in the areas we might move to are crap (and we can’t move to grammar counties etc as commute and grandparent location doesn’t work)