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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Another Hand-Holding Request Here!

18 replies

Lilwelshyrs · 23/03/2015 13:58

Hi everyone,

I'm 6 weeks pregnant and because I work in quite a physically demanding job, I decided to tell my boss. He was super happy and actually got a bit teary - as did I - when I told him. He's a new Dad so I felt he'd be on side. I decided not to tell the rest of the team immediately as I didn't feel it necessary. However, after a particularly long day, I felt utterly awful and exhausted so I thought it might be best to tell the others in case my boss needed to swap me into another role as a temporary measure.

So I was working on Saturday and it was another long one... And I was breathless, dizzy and exhausted. I hadn't slept well on the Friday night and all I wanted to do was go home and curl up in my bed. I told the acting HOD who was unsympathetic at first and said she couldn't let me go "just because I was a bit tired". She had to contact the boss - which was fine. She warned me he would probably want to see me on Monday (today) and tell me that I needed to put work first as I can't keep having time off. My contract comes to an end in 3 weeks and I'm hoping that I will get a new contract June/July time. He seems keen to employ me again even if it's for a few months before the baby's due. So by leaving early on Saturday, it's making me look a bit rubbish.

My job means I finish work about 10:15 most nights (not sundays) and I commute so I don't get home until nearly midnight. Then I'm up again at 7am the next morning because of animal responsibilities and also because my body won't seem to let me have a lie in.
On my long days, I don't do animal duties now because I realise it's too much for me to cope with but unfortunately I can't just drop them every time I feel tired. We are looking at getting someone to assist us as the pregnancy moves along but to find someone requires some time which I don't have much of! I will in 3 weeks, but until then, I have to plough on.

I sleep on the train to and from work, but I can't nap at work. There just isn't anywhere to go that's quiet.
My boss has asked to see me today and I'm dreading it... Everyone goes through different things in pregnancy - right? I'm really struggling here to balance it all... It's also been quite a shock to finally be pregnant... We've been trying for almost 4 years and now that it's finally happened, we're so over the moon but suddenly have to rethink everything again... I feel so unprepared.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for really... Just any sort of advice would be good.
I saw my GP about the breathlessness and it's my asthma that's come back - yipee! So I'm back on medication for that as walking dogs makes me wheezy :(

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Cisforcat · 23/03/2015 14:59

Pregnancy is knackering. Your body is working twice as hard as its used to and everyone will tell you your making another human being!
At the end of the day your health and the babies is most important and often employers will want to tread carefully around pregnant women for obvious reasons.

It is in their interests as well as your own to do what's right for you and rest. Your feeling knackered because your body is so try to listen to it. If your 6 weeks then sickness is another thing to consider.

I went to my GP as I was struggling in the first 16 weeks and was put in reduced hrs due to a doctors note. Employers can't legally argue with them and they would be in a fine line if they tried!
Worth considering if it will make your life easier. Look after yourself and good luck.

lillamyy1 · 24/03/2015 11:03

Went through similar thing at the beginning of my pg so just wanted to say I totally empathise. I know how guilty you can feel taking time off etc but your health is more important than any job, so don't worry about inconveniencing your boss or anyone else, and if anyone is unsympathetic, screw them!
Congrats on the pregnancy Flowers

Hellohellohowareyou · 24/03/2015 11:12

Is the boss you are seeing today the one who got teary when you told him? If so I'm sure you will be fine! Good luck xx

Lilwelshyrs · 24/03/2015 15:59

Hi everyone :)

Thank you so much for your replies. I had to go see my bosses boss in the end... Turned out she needed to risk assess me!
We talked about what I was struggling most with and I explained I was finding it difficult to do the two long days in the week. There's nowhere quiet to have a kip when I'm on a break and this is the worst thing as I tend to nap around 2pm for about 30mins at the moment. And that's fine when I don't need to leave the house til 3:30 but when I need to be working at 2pm and im out the door at 11am, it's awful.
I'm aware im sounding like a bit of a wuss here, having not actually explained my job!!
I work backstage in the theatre so I do 8 shows a week. Wednesday's and Saturdays are two show days and those are the ones im struggling with the most. I finish work at 10:15pm every night and I get home at midnight so it's qute tiring and im usually fast asleep on the train home!

Anyway, so I had a lovely chat with the big boss and she has now booked out a room for me to have a nap in between shows! How fabulous!
I haven't actually spoken to my boss (yes, the bloke who got teary when I told him I was pregnantSmile) yet, but ive emailed him to ask if he still needs to talk to me... And maybe if he doesn't, then all my silly worries were for nothing! :)

I'm really still adjusting to being pregnant myself... It's not only hard on you physically, but emotionally too - even if it's something you've been trying for for ages! I'm learning my limits and I am surprised at how much im being zapped of my energy... Usually I ride two horses a day, muck out 4, walk the dogs and then go to work... Now I'm riding one, mucking out 4, falling asleep, going to work and then falling asleep again Grin

Thank you for your replies and support :)
Xx

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lillamyy1 · 25/03/2015 13:46

Glad the meeting went well Smile You don't sound like a wuss at all! I think people who haven't been through it tend not to realise how exhausting the first trimester can be, as you're not carrying around lots of extra weight etc but in reality it's the most taxing and emotional time on the whole pregnancy (in my experience at least!)
But it will all be worth it and that's what you have to keep in mind Flowers

f1fan2001 · 25/03/2015 14:21

Congratulations and I am glad the meeting went well and they have arranged a nap room for you Smile

When I was first pregnant I was resorting to napping in the car at lunchtime and as soon as I had eaten dinner it was bed for 12 hours sleep Shock

It does pass but it is hard work when you are going through it

Lilwelshyrs · 26/03/2015 13:37

So I still had to see my boss and he said "most women don't even know they're pregnant at this stage"... Eugh.
He told me off for not being able to do the second show and I explained that every pregnancy is different and my biggest struggle last weekend was the fact I was finding it hard to breathe LOL. Anyway, he dropped it from there.
Sadly my nap room hasn't been booked :( I have downloaded a meditation app though!
Xx

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AuntieDee · 26/03/2015 13:42

I fully synpeathise with you! It's hard work being pregant and having dogs and horses - I have 4 of each! Pregnancy is exhausting - it's hard to realise how much. I used to be a 1am bed kinda girl - changed to 9pm pretty sharpish...

Lilwelshyrs · 26/03/2015 13:44

Dee how on earth are you managing?! I'm having a freak out!! Do you work too? Do you ride often?

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AuntieDee · 26/03/2015 16:13

I've been working full time. The horses live out so only really skipping out a few poos when they get ridden and my main mare has a part loaner anyway and a friend is riding my youngsters. One is a foal so easy peasy. I've not been riding but have just had bad news so am going to be back riding again now :( I don't know whether overdoing it has had any effect or whether I would have miscarried anyway :(

Lilwelshyrs · 26/03/2015 18:43

Oh Dee, im so so sorry Flowers
I don't think you can cause a MC by overdoing it so don't beat yourself up.
Go and have a lovely pony cuddle. That's what manes are made for.
Sending you huge internet hugs Flowers
Xxxxx

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AuntieDee · 26/03/2015 20:07

I've pony cuddled :) ive got a welshie so plenty mane for that. Also had cuddles with my foal - just horsey babies in this house for now :)

Lilwelshyrs · 26/03/2015 20:14

Oh I have a welshie too! Fur babies are totally awesome.
At least you know you can :) that's what I keep saying to myself - after trying for so long I didn't think it would ever happen. But we CAN :)
Xx

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lillamyy1 · 28/03/2015 23:26

Flowers So sorry Dee Flowers I can only imagine how difficult it is having a mc, but it is usually the case it'd have happened anyway and there's nothing you could have done. Best of luck if you're going to start ttc again Flowers
Lilwelshyrs, your boss was a nob for saying that - what the feck does he know about pregnancy?! Lots of people know they're pg by 6 weeks and even if they don't, they're often experiencing some (usually unpleasant) symptoms by then!! Don't let him try to make you feel guilty, he doesn't know what he's on about!!
I thought we'd missed the egg the month I got pg so when I started suddenly getting ms after I'd happened to have a couple of drinks the night before I thought "I must be getting old because this hangover's dreadful and I was barely even tipsy last night!" That was a Saturday. The following Friday I was signed off work I felt so ill, and I was only 6 weeks then.

lillamyy1 · 28/03/2015 23:28

Also, your boss shouldn't be telling you off for anything pg-related and if he starts treating you differently you'd be well within your rights to sue.

anonmam9 · 29/03/2015 16:24

Do you have some time you can book off to do a few part time weeks? remember you have to use up your holidays before you go on Mat leave, unless you will be back before your holiday year will be up but you could take them as holiday.

Lilwelshyrs · 29/03/2015 16:43

I was a bit peeved that he did say that to me tbh. He did back down. Ive noticed that a couple of the dads in my workplace are total know-it-alls about my pregnancy... It's quite patronising! But I keep saying "every pregnancy is different"...

Ive used all my holiday allowance up - the show closes soon which brings my contract to an end.
I also now how an amazing cold... Yuck!

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lillamyy1 · 30/03/2015 01:31

Oh no, colds when pg are the worst. You can't take anything for them! Hope it gets better quickly!

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