how many relatives is reasonable to visit after the birth?

[WorryWurta]

As my baby is being very stubborn and refusing to come out on time I'm expecting to be induced by the end of the week. Most of the family live away and/or work very long shifts and they're all now saying Saturday is their day to visit. I'm talking mum, dad, possibly step mum, sister, BIL, grandmother, MIL & FIL. AIBU that I can't cope with all those people at once? I mean for me that's a lot of people but maybe I'm just super introverted. I'm so grateful they want to see the baby but I remember how knackered I felt after my ectopic was removed last year (it's my only frame of reference) and imagine that times 100 for a live birth! I know they'll probs stay away if I'm still in hospital but if I'm home I feel I need to put some of them off. But I don't really know how to prioritise, e.g. My mum lives closest but it's her first grandchild and MIL/FIL have several. Sis is bringing gran and although they are less immediate family my nan'll have to wait another two weeks for my sis to be free again to drive her. I thought about maybe having an afternoon and a morning shift - morning for those travelling less than 3 hours and afternoon for those coming from further away? Everyone's starting to mention how inconvenient the timing is for them, which is getting my goat a little

Hope you are snuggled up to your new born and that your family have given you the space you need.

You absolutely categorically cannot cope with all these people. It is completely selfish of them to want to descend on you. Yanbu at all!
Best of luck OP

I think keep it open because you may feel differently once baby was here.
Before I had DS I told DH I didn't want people to come see us straight away and that I wanted space and privacy. Once DS was born though I was totally the opposite! I was on such a high and couldn't wait to show him off.
In hospital we had parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, nephews and nieces...
It all depends on how you feel after the birth. But I do agree with a previous poster about retreating into the bedroom with baby and keeping bedroom off limits to everyone apart from DH. That way you can mingle when you feel upto it and then rest when you feel like you need it.

Ops baby should be here.

Honestly I'd day that's far too many. However it's your birth and your baby, you have as few or as many as you want, what've would say is just day to all of them, you'll let them know if you're upto it once the baby is here. You don't know how well you're going to feel both physically and mentally. I had an ectopic last year that resulted in emergency surgery. I know this time round, I want to limit visitors as it's going to be very emotional. We want some time to get to know our new baby and not entertaining visitors. X

I find all this terribly sad tbh.

You have a loving family who all want to see your child and welcome them to the world which you have acknowledged yourself is a wonderful thing. I agree with people who said it will be tiring but in a way you get it all out of the way at once and can then settle yourselves down and relax.

I really dont get the "keep everyone away for 2 weeks" brigade. I appreciate that everyone feels different and babies are all different, but even after a 3 day labour, an emcs and borderline blood transfusion, I couldn't wait to show my baby to the world. people were generally respectful and stayed for just a short time.

I wouldn't get yourself worried and stressed about it, what will be will be - they are family, they wont expect to be waited on and entertained, they just want to see you and the baby (which may not even be here by Saturday)

I'd tell them there'll be a ticketing system based on the amount of chocolate/meals/(whatever you think you'll want/need) they declare they are bringing and DH will be weighing their offerings to check they weren't over estimating before allowing them in to see you

But seriously, this isn't about the baby, baby doesn't care who visits. It's not about the people who are excited to meet a new relation who can wait. This is about who you and your husband want around at the moment. Don't invite anyone over who is going to make you worry about how much housework you've not done, or who is likely to give you unwelcome unsolicited advice about how to name or parent your baby - if they have to come then find an excuse to make it a short visit. Invite people who you are excited to introduce the baby to or who will make you feel loved and supported or provide practical chocolate support

I really feel for you. I was induced with DS at 42 weeks. Was in labour for 2 days and had some complications so was rushed to theatre straight after he was born. After 2.5 hrs in theater, 3l blood transfusion and 3 hours in recovery, I was allowed back into the high dependency ward for 24 hour constant monitoring.

My parents turned up to see the baby while I was in theater/recovery which was nice as it gave DH a bit of company and reassurance, but at 6pm (just as I was allowed to hold/feed DS for the first time) my AUNTY shows up unannounced with her husband and 4 kids! I was furious. Thankfully the midwives saw how livid I was, demanded there were to be no children in my room due to the infection risk and ushered everyone out!
Some people are so thoughtless when it comes to new babies. Their brain seems to turn to mush!