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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

so excited - BFP today, no. 4 is on its way. Unfortunately my mum is taking it badly..

27 replies

earthtomummy · 29/10/2006 19:20

which is q. upsetting. I may as well have announced that I was absndoning my DH and children to join a circus in Brazil. She will no doubt give me silent treatment for sev. months because she thinks it is a bad plan. So I'm hoping for saome more +ve responses elsewhere (DH v. pleased).

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BloodRedRubyRioja · 29/10/2006 19:21

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jofeb04 · 29/10/2006 19:22

Congrats on the pregnany.

cadbury · 29/10/2006 19:23

congratulations

Original poster
earthtomummy · 29/10/2006 19:27

She says it's because she's worried how I'll cope / my health. My last 2 pregnancies were hard - I had SPD, was vv sick (but also moved house each pregnancy and did DIY in a v. big way). My mum has always given my sister and I this sort of silent, clipped, forced friendly attitude if we do stg she disapproves of / finds diff. to understand. I think she sort of feels panicked about the lack of control she has. I was so scared about telling her because I knew the reaction I'd get. When I rang today my sister was there with her family. She said at breakfast my mum (who had just been told) point blank refused to engage in any discussion involving me or the pregnsancy. Apparently my fantastic brother in law kept up a normal conversation about due dates etc. heroically in the face of frostiness! We are seeing my mum this w/e at my sister in laws wedding. My mil (who is v. pleased ) will be there too so maybe that will help. I should say my mum is great by 7 mos or so, but I know I'm pretty much going to be ignored if I mention the pregnancy / scans etc. I suppose the only way is to not involve her at all and to downplay any problems I have.

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Original poster
earthtomummy · 29/10/2006 19:27

oh - and thanks all for the congrats!

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bctmum · 29/10/2006 19:28

Many congrats xxx

BloodRedRubyRioja · 29/10/2006 19:29

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Original poster
earthtomummy · 29/10/2006 19:31

I've got DS who is 5.5, DD who is 3.5 and DD who is 1.5. Just feeling a bit emotional at the mo. - guessed i was pg. when soe won a competiotion on the radio and i cried!!

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BloodRedRubyRioja · 29/10/2006 19:32

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EliBoo · 29/10/2006 20:08

Hurrah! Congratulations! Mothers, eh. xxx

lemonAIIEEE · 29/10/2006 20:09

Congratulations!

Ilovemyboy · 30/10/2006 09:19

Congrats on your pregnancy.

My MIL was like this when we announced that I was pg and it is only our first.

It is hard isn't it when all you want (and need) is for everyone to be happy and supportive of your decisions...esp when it is such good news.

Hope your mum manages to come round soon and doesn't upset you too much.

TwigTwoolett · 30/10/2006 09:24

Congratualations

If it was my mother I'd consider sending her a card ... something along the lines of "Dear Mum .. I love you but I also love my children. We are extremely excited at this new addition to our family and want you to be excited too. Please do not be worried about me, we can manage. I would love your support in the early months but appreciate its your decision whether you give it or not. I love you anyway"

guilt is a marvellous thing

niceglasses · 30/10/2006 09:27

Massive congrats - lovely.

Totally understand re mother - I have 3 and think my mums reaction is one reason I wouldn't have another. Think she would committ the maternal equivalent of divorce........

SoupDragon · 30/10/2006 09:30

congratulations

Go with Twiglett's card.

castlesintheair · 30/10/2006 10:46

Congratulations earthtomummy!

I'm currently pg with no.3. When I told my father he said "I presume it was planned", my DB & uncle both asked "Oh God, was it a mistake?" and my DM keeps banging on about how "this better be my last". You'd think she is going to be responsible for "it"! I've had a hard pg but may try to have another, who knows? It will give me great pleasure telling the miserable bu***rs if I do

QuootieSpookypie · 30/10/2006 10:47

WELL DONE CONGRATULATIONS!!! ((hugs)) xxxxx

fennel · 30/10/2006 10:59

Congratulations, I think 4 children is a lovely number

Original poster
earthtomummy · 30/10/2006 12:15

oh thankyou everyone. Had to sign off last night as DH needed to work on the PC. Mum just 'phoned to see how DS settled today at school after half term. Absolutely no mention of pregnancy or how are you or anything. I feel massively hurt and upset. Twig, I think the idea of the card is good. The only prob. is that I feel so hurt (and annoyed) I'm not sure I could bring myself to write it at the mo. My mum is really lovely and supportive, but it is conditional and since I've been little it's been like that. I'm sorry so many of you have had sim. reactions - how long did it tske for your mums / mils to defrost? But thankyou for your messages because they've cheered me up lots just now after my tel. call. Four is a good no., isn't it!

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SoupDragon · 30/10/2006 12:19

Her reaction was expected and she'll be fine by 7 months. Don't let it get to you (easy to say ). You know this is just how she is, she treats your sister the same and you know she'll come round in the end. Take a deep breath and mutter "I will not become like her. I will not become like her." repeatedly whilst writing that card.

SoupDragon · 30/10/2006 12:20

But no, four is unbelievably mad and clearly you pushed your last remaining brain cells out with placenta no. 3

Original poster
earthtomummy · 30/10/2006 12:25

What brain cells??!!

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Flumpybumpy · 30/10/2006 12:35

You can borrow my Mother for the first seven months if you like!! She ADORES pregnancy and clucks around like an old mother hen looking after you and being really supportive. She is desperate for me to have more (I have DD who is 3 and DS who is 5 weeks) but I am defo stopping at two.

Congrats about your pregnancy btw!

FB x

Pollybloodyanna · 30/10/2006 12:41

Congratulations . i've got a ds and 3 dds (ds was 6 when dd3 was born)- perhaps you'll have the same combination!

Pollybloodyanna · 30/10/2006 12:44

oh and my mum was the same - before I was pregnant with my last 2 she felt it was ok to constantly say that I shoud stop at 2 (or 3) as she found it too stressful me being pregnant. She disapproved massively when I got pregnant with no 3, but got excited by the end. (no 4 was unplanned and she blamed dh for that ). She loves them all now, but i get very little support from her.