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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Nasty attitudes from others at work

14 replies

pepperfish · 19/03/2015 16:43

Just wondering if anyone else experienced bitchiness from other women during pregnancy?

I work in a mostly female environment. By and large, my teammates have been understanding and helpful but one or two have been downright spiteful (both behind my back and to my face).

Things like: An eyeroll when I sat down for 5 minutes after feeling dizzy (this has happened once I should add!)

Comments such as "if it's that bad, why are you still here?", or "if I hear her going on about being pregnant one last time..." (I really don't think I talk about it that much and I was responding to a pregnancy question from other collegue at the time).

Probably the worst one was a comment that got passed on to me: "I can't wait until she's gone on maternity leave so someone can come and do her job properly for her".

Most recent issue is that I am using up some holiday before maternity leave and so am practically part time now - I have the distinct impression a lot of them feel I am leaving them in the lurch (comments about 'leaving xx to pick to the pieces because Pepperfish hasn't been here').

And of course, the classic favourite: "Pregnancy isn't an illness, you know!"

I've had 1 sick day off whilst pregnant, and that was during 1st trimester when I had an awful cold. I've been in my job for over 5 years and have risen up the ranks in that time so I'm fairly sure I'm not bad at what I do, even with pregnancy brain to contend with!

I think it's jealousy (the women concerned do not have kids but are 30+ with no man on the horizon) but when you are pregnant and hormonal it's tough to bear.

This happened with two previous maternity leavers in the company so I shouldn't be suprised but past experience has taught me boss won't really do a lot. It'll be swept under the rug and I'm not sure I can arsed with kicking up a fuss.

Has anyone else had this?

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GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 19/03/2015 16:50

That's called discrimination. Speak to HR.

Original poster

pepperfish · 19/03/2015 17:13

I know. And really I should make a fuss. I effectively have 15 days left now so it seems so pointless.

My boss is aware but has just told me to ignore it and steer clear of those involved.

Unfortunately a certain level of bitchiness is quite common in our almost all female workforce. Because of that, I think complaints get largely ignored or underestimated for the impact they have.

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Skiptonlass · 19/03/2015 17:33

Be careful about involving HR. They are there there to protect the company, not you, unfortunately.

This is really shitty behaviour - and as you say it is coming from a place of jealousy.

I don't think there's much you can do, other than make your boss aware and keep aloof and professional :(

Aridane · 19/03/2015 17:40

Piss poor - but I don't agree it necessarily comes from a place of jealousy

BumWad · 19/03/2015 19:36

How awful I am furious on your behalf op!

And really you should go to HR, they are not just there for the company but for you too.

However like you say you have 15 days left then you will be off and will have your beautiful baby, do you want to go through with all the hassle of reporting them? If not then you should just hold your head up high and ignore their wanky comments, what's important is you and your baby and you do whatever you need to do to get through the next two weeks!

Good luck

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 19/03/2015 19:47

I feel for you, some people are just self righteous assholes. Last time I was pregnant, my work colleague occasionally popped in (worked separate shifts) to point out all the things I hadn't done yet. He once followed me around the shop saying that if I couldn't 'do my job properly anymore' I should quit. All because I stupidly mentioned that I was suffering morning sickness once. Pregnancy seems to bring out a nasty side in some, not always jealousy, just plain nastiest.

KittensOnAPlane · 20/03/2015 15:48

well there is that "do you want to go through your last 15 days reporting" but what if the women they had bullied before had reported it, then you wouldnt have had to put up with it throughout all your pregnancy, and the women after you wont have to either.

i think you need to document as much as you can and report it to HR

Frasras11 · 22/03/2015 19:36

This is bullying and harassment as well as discrimination. I went through something similar in my first pregnancy. And I bloody well did kick up a fuss. People can be so fucking stupid! We know pregnancy isn't an illness but you can't help the sickness, tiredness or aches and pains. If you're not the first you won't be last that suffers this and it needs to be addressed. Are you in a union? If not call Acas as they will be able to give you impartial advice if you feel your own HR department will be biased. You're pregnant and covered by the law again behaviour such as this. I know I sound very ranty but having been through it myself it totally fuck me off that people think they can act this way to you just because you're pregnant!

MissMartin1992 · 22/03/2015 20:53

I haven't experienced this myself yet as im still ttc but there has been a really big baby boom at work at the moment with about 7 people all expecting around the same time! And there have been alot of comments flying around mostly from other women who already have kids/babies and they all just seem really jealous! its probably because they are no longer getting fussed over.. it must be horrible to be experiencing this as this should be one of that happiest moments in your life don't let anyone spoil it for you! even though im trying really hard for a baby.. im not in the slightest jealous of these lucky women! im very happy for them ... goodluck with your baby

rosedavo · 22/03/2015 21:13

I got this aswell, report them! Seriously doesnt matter how long u got left

lmb21010 · 22/03/2015 22:05

I'm in the same boat! Hate working with so many other women! Was told I "might as well leave now" when I was 10 weeks.
I've been put on lighter duties, only very slightly lighter may I add, and they all hate it. Say I'm not pulling my weight etc when I work just as hard now as I did before I was pregnant.
Our hr department literally does pay and holidays so I'm seriously considering going straight to my manager if it continues. I'm on annual leave next week so will leave it till after that in the hope that the dust settles.
Hope things improve for you op

hestialou · 23/03/2015 07:04

Bug hugs to you, as that is horrid and your colleagues should be happy and supportive, just keep counting down the days, smile and don't let the bitches now they've got to you.

OMC1 · 23/03/2015 08:58

I am sorry to hear you're going through that, pepperfish. It must be really getting you down.

Definitely agree with the rest of the girls who have suggested you go to HR, its their duty to make sure you are happy and healthy in your working environment.

I have had weirdness from one girl in my office, who before was a really close office friend, and now can barely make eye contact with me. DH thinks it might be jealousy, but I'm not so sure.

Number3cometome · 23/03/2015 09:25

Pregnancy is covered against discrimination in the workplace - this includes where 'banter' is concerned.

Funny enough we had a law seminar at work two weeks ago, and pregnancy was mentioned. I did get a few looks across the table from my boss who has jokingly said stuff to me (I took as a joke too) but it is a serious issue and even if you have 15 days left, there may be another lady after you who will suffer if this issue is not dealt with.

I suspect these women are slightly jealous (although not sure dizziness / piles and sleepless nights are something to be jealous of!)

Report them, they clearly think they are untouchable.

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