WWYD?

[pepperfish]

Before I start, I think this was a lovely gesture, I just feel a bit awkward about it because it's 'my fault'.

Work colleague has bought my other work colleague who suffered a miscarriage around the same time I found out I was pregnant a present to cheer her up. I'm due to go on maternity leave very soon and I think she's finding it hard - several references on FB plus a picture of said present.

I'm trying to be as understanding as I can without rubbing her nose in it, although there have been a few awful incidents of other collegues saying things like "it'll be your turn next!" to her when stood next to me (they didn't realise).

Do I acknowledge that I understand how's she's feeling too or would that come across as smug? And if so, how? I feel so guilty that my pregnancy is causing her pain :-(

What would you do? Can I do anything?

I had a similar but not exact same situation and I spoke to the lady concerned. In my situation she was coming up to the anniversary of losing her baby and I was having my 12 week scan so I took her to one side and told her I was pregnant so that she didn't have to deal with it in the public forum.
In your situation if it is obviously upsetting her I would take her to one side and just make her aware that you are aware that it is hard for her IYSWIM and ask if there is anything that you could do to make it easier (within reason).
There is some level of unfortunate reality that this lady will have to live with. Pregnancy is part of life and she will need to somehow deal with the awkward and sometimes upsetting conversations.
Ultimately there is nothing you can do but acknowledging it can go a long way.

My gut reaction is you're not going to be able to make this ok. She's coming to the time she would have been going off on her own maternity leave and that will hurt.
If you were previously very close and she talked to you about the miscarriage then you could potentially acknowledge this is a difficult time for her but without any reference to your own pregnancy. But I think ultimately you are too much of a reminder of what she's not experiencing so this can't come from you. Perhaps if you want to help, you could speak to somebody who knows the whole situation to perhaps subtly remind people that this would have been her due date and to perhaps be a little sensitive on the pregnancy chat and comments. That depends though on whether the other colleagues can do this sensitively and not obviously.