AIBU? Did anyone else cry after their booking appt?

[Lemondrizzletwunt]

I have just had the shittest booking appt, at 5+5.

I called the surgery 2 weeks ago (as I found out I was preg) to make an appointment with the MW. MW calls the next day and offers me an appointment for today; at which point I'm a little confused because I thought they had to see you between 8-9wks so they could take the correct bloods, and mention I'll be less than 6 weeks but I'm told this is ok.

Anyway, fast-forward to today and she comes to visit me at home. I was unable to sleep last night I was so excited (this is my first pregnancy) and I've read all of the paperwork I was given cover to cover as well as hoovering from top to bottom so she doesn't see the usual bombsite The appointment was 45 mins long and basically consisted of her patronising me all the way through, and promoting all of the bits within the fucking bounty pack she was holding The only booking bit she did do was to go through all of the paperwork I have already read (and am expected to read, as per the instructions) and read excerpts out loud to me.

AIBU to be really disappointed at this?

I thought she was going to say congratulations, I thought she might ask me how I was feeling, or talk about symptoms I might or might not be having, worries that might be going through my mind, and so on. I expected to discuss the testing available and associated risks, and I certainly didn't expect to be persuaded into testing for sickle cell that I don't want One hearing I am older than 25 she also didn't offer me a chlamydia test, but she has no idea how long my DP and I have been together, or even if I have had other sexual partners recently, or whether I have used protection with any of them.

I now have no idea when she is actually going to take my bloods (as they weren't done today, obviously) and my next appointment is my 12 week scan, and then I see her again at 16 weeks.

I know I am a hormonal mess but I'm really upset and disappointed. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. I have been sat here for the past hour googling independent midwives in my area.

Being busy is not an excuse. A smile and a quick congratulations takes no time at all. Did you chat to her, or ask about her day? This can help at appointments - she's a human being too.

This is such a special and exciting time for you, so please don't let things like this spoil it.

Don't give them any of your details! They are an absolute disgrace. They should have all contact with the nhs cut and frankly if a saw them again on a supposedly secure maternity ward I'd call security. They make my blood boil.

Make sure your mw hasn't given them your details.

Hadn't considered that Skip, although I'm sure the NHS / she would be in breach of something if they had done so without my express consent, but have texted her to be sure!

Going to discuss sickle-cell with DP and then make a decision.

In my area a midwife won't see you till 12 weeks so to have a booking in appointment so early is surprising to me.

I think you need to lower your expectations a bit to avoid feeling upset at the appointments. For me they were just about doing a urine dip test and checking for baby's heartbeat post 16 weeks really.

Luckily you'll have mn to provide you with lots of information.

I hope you feel better and do get to meet some nice caring midwifes of which there are many out there.

I had my booking yesterday and my midwife was lovely (it was at the surgery not at home) and she congratulated me as soon as she'd introduced herself to me, dp and the kids. She was lovely, although the appointment itself is a bit rubbish, she was very apologetic for having to ask me so many stupid questions.

I think booking appointments are rubbish by nature, but your midwife should have asked how you are feeling (mine did) and at least mustered a little excitement for you personally. Nobody likes to be treated coldly and it's a shame you have been lemon. Have some cake and start counting the days until your scan, that's bound to be much more exciting :)

Sorry to hear that OP. Booking apt is exciting for us first timers, it seems the official start of the pregnancy. But is generally pretty crap!

I had my 23wk apt earlier today, had the third different midwife for my 3 apts so far (booking, 16wks and 23wks).

1st was pretty crap (basically v disorganised doing all the paperwork and was actually telling me factually incorrect things!), the 2nd was ok (mostly as they were better than first) And this 3rd one was v nice! She seemed generally more professional, friendly, caring and at end said prob (highly unlikely!) wouldn't see her again but wished me all the best / hope all goes etc well.

But its luck of the draw, every midwife is an individual. Hope you get a nicer one next apt. Take any disappointment with a pinch of salt! You sound like you are well informed anyway.

My midwife said congratulations. It only takes a second to say it!

Thank you all for keeping me sane and offering me some comfort through my wailing. I have now had one two some Tunnocks teacakes and am feeling better.

You're right, I got excited and looked forward to something that I should have known would be unfulfilling, but next time I'll know. Go in with no expectations, (essentially give yourself your own antenatal info and care) and it may either go fine or you might even be pleasantly surprised.

As a wise PP said, thankfully I have you guys for congratulations, sympathy and general excitement

As soon as the Bounty pack was pulled out, the point was made that I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with it. The midwife was a little surprised and asked why. DH simply said I thought Bounty had no place within the NHS. She didn't take it any further and completely respected my wishes.

I take it you did say you didn't want anything to do with Bounty and she still did this? If so, complain. (In fact if you are unhappy about it, complain anyway - there are lots reasons why its inappropriate)

If you didn't, you have the right to do this and its probably easier to do earlier rather than later on. My notes had NO BOUNTY on when I had actually gave birth too.

BTW, if DH hadn't been there I doubt I would have felt able to refuse it despite being a bit of an nutter about how much I hate Bounty.

I had what they called an early bird appointment at 6 weeks which sounds like what you had today just form filling. Then I had my booking appointment at 8 weeks which was when the midwife took bloods and discussed scans etc with me.