2nd time around- v broody but dh not at all

[Inchacha]

DS is coming up two

We'd always discussed trying for another baby around this time

When I raised it the other day, dh (said through gritted teeth) is saying that he's not even sure he wants more, and I am devastated

The thought of not having more children, of never being pregnant again or holding one of those little snuffling helpless bundles of my own is awful

DS was a dream baby, really contented- bf worked brilliantly, sleeping never awful (never perfect but we coped), family life has been lovely (not without it's ups and downs but that's just reality) and so I can't understand what would be so dreadful about extending our family.

My dh is not one for understanding his emotions though so can't articulate why he feels this way, and I could just cry! feels like someone has taken away a baby I haven't even conceived yet (ok a bit melodramatic but you get my drift )

Not sure really why I'm posting this but needed to share

inchacha, I posted an almost identical thread to this some months ago. I too was devastateed when my dh wasn't sure he wanted another baby.
ds was also a dream baby, slept through, no problems at all.

Anyway, a few months later and we still haven't conceived, but I have been talking to dh about it quite a lot, usually as we lie in bed at night. We've talked about why I want another baby, why he isn't sure if he wants one and what we could do to assuage some of the concerns he has over it.

We're looking forward to ttc in december/jan time.

for my dh it was a pressure thing I think. I suddenly brought the issue up (having been thinking it over for a while) and he felt like I was saying 'get me pregnant RIGHT NOW'
Give your dh a chance to think about it for a while, find out why he isn't sure and then see if you can assure him that it'll be ok.

Thanks HMC, you're right I suppose I have been assuming in my head that we would automatically start ttc again about now because that's what we'd discussed before. Not considering the fact that it hasn't been mentioned in months and so might take dh a while to get his head round it.

Also I was really ill when pregnant last time (hyperemesis, in hospital on a drip lots and completely reliant on dh) and so I suppose he might be a little bit scared of the same thing next time- which would be a lot to ask considering we now also have ds to look after at same time.

DS was sort of unplanned and so I never got to the broody stage last time, it's a bit of a shock! Like an itch that really needs scratching Dream about babies/being pregnant/giving birth quite frequently. Freak that I am!

Think the majority of men are hard to convince to ttc after the 1st. THey just remember the hard times like sleepless nights etc. Give him another couple of months then if still not convinced then get him drunk and seduce him. Only joking. YOu just need to talk about it my dh only wanted one but after much discussion agreed to try again and now have a beautiful ds and dd.

Hm...maybe you should just tell him if he doesn't weant to extend the family then maybe you should become a Surrogate mom (not that that is a joking matter and I did consider it at the time) so you ca at least have that feeling of pg agian,,etc...anywya, dh changed his mind pretty quick after that!

inchacha i cannot believe how alike you and I are. lol
my ds was also unplanned, and I am desperate for another baby. december seems like forever away.

My DH didn't want any children at all. I genuinely couldn't concieve for years, turned down ivf. We have DS 3 and I am pg again. I am trying to get my head around this as, I have mentioned before I used a condom and it was 2 days before AF was due. I think we are both very very stunned still (am 27 wks). I am worried about the effect on DS and me. Keep saying 'tis meant to be', but not really believing it. Not much help really.