medical negligence /complaint advise

[ebonfim]

our post:
Hello everyone! I'm new in this site , so I'm not sure how it works.
I lost my baby girl last 12th December , she was 22 weeks and 3 days. That was the worst day of my life.I was told by 2 doctors that I will never get pregnant , so when I find out I was pregnant last September that was a big surprise. I knew she was a girl before I got the results from my CVS and she was perfect. I kept bleeding on and off through out and every time I went to hospital, doctors kept saying they couldn't see anything wrong ; until last December when I went to the hospital again and the consultant told me that my waters broke. In my report they say reason unknown but after looking into different websites , the major cause for miscarriages at this trimester is a incompetent cervix.I asked the doctor to stitch me but he said that was a very high risk of infection, which after checking my blood tests with a midwife they were normal for a pregnant woman. They never check me for it,really I had to pay scans privately because they never got my dates right; even when I was in hospital and consultant told them to check me every 2 hours and book a scan , that never happened ; antibiotics never on time, food well I wouldn't give it to a dog lets put it that way. I complaint every time, to Pals but no answer . Does anyone can guide me what I should do? Good lawyer that can pursue my cause? I'm not looking for money, I just want to make sure no one else go through the same as me and expose their lack of care. I will never forgive them for what they done to my beautiful daughter , if they stitch me like NICE recommends , my daughter will had a chance to be here with me and my husband as it should have been. You see , I'm 41 years old, I always wanted to be a mum and they destroyed my life and my husband , worse they killed my daughter. Please, help me.

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your baby. The pain must be terrible. :(

However, it may be that your consultant had good reason to not give you that stitch. It's not always recommended even for some types of cervical insufficiency. Your blood tests wouldn't have much bearing on that - there could be a very sound reason why your consultant didn't do it.

The fact that you were bleeding on and off indicates something else was wrong. You could certainly ask for more information from the team who treated you, they may be able to give you answers but also they may not.

You must be feeling terribly angry, and you are likely traumatised by the loss of your baby - this is absolutely understandable, and you may feel the need to find out why it happened and punish someone. But please, think twice before you raise a serious grievance. It will be traumatic for you and for the medical stafff, who deal every day with babies who will sadly not make it. There may well have been nothing they could do.

I think you need information and help, not a lawsuit. Could you see a counsellor to help you deal with this loss? You may also benefit from asking the medical team what they think may have gone wrong.

It is terribly cruel, and utterly devastating for those caught up in it, but many babies do not survive to term. I feel for you and I hope you get the support and closure you need, but I see no reason to raise a complaint.

I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter. I don't know about the other parts of the complaint, but I'm afraid the doctor was right that they can't put a stitch in once your waters have broken. The risk of introducing infection at that point is simply too great,and that can put your own life at risk. Also, the stitch is no use (indeed can be actively dangerous) if you go into labour, which sadly with waters breaking at 22 weeks is quite likely before viability.

Does your hospital have a birth afterthoughts service? They can go through your notes and explain the reasoning behind the medical decisions they made. You can then maybe start to separate the bits that were genuinely poor care from the bits that were perhaps medically justifiable but obviously poorly communicated to you.

for all you went through