MMC

[JaneCollege]

Hello all,

I went for an 8-week scan today (second scan because of pain a couple of weeks ago, where they found a large CL cyst but also saw a heartbeat) and was told that the heartbeat had stopped very recently. Until yesterday I was feeling more pregnant each day.

The whole time I had a feeling deep down it wouldn't work out for some reason, but who knows if I was protecting myself or had a genuine intuition.
At the same time I'm shocked that this is as far as the 'story' of this pregnancy goes.

I'm 39, so although I know people say it's common, I'm sad that it's later in the day and in the spirit of today, pessimistically thinking maybe it will never be.

I've opted for nature to (hopefully) take its course. Trying not to think too hard about what this will entail.

Any input would be much appreciated on this sad day, both on what to expect and also the lovely 'I'm ancient and miscarried and got pregnant right away' stories- no pressure!

Thanks in advance.

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. I've had two MMCs - it is such a horrible shock. In my experience I felt a bit 'betrayed' by my body that it could let this happen - ie continue being pregnant as if nothing had happened...

I had one 'nature take it's course' and one ERPC procedure, and in my opinion waiting for it to happen naturally is the best option. Just be prepared that (despite what the doctors say), it may not be just like a heavy period. The gestational sac came out intact in my case, and it was about the size of a golf ball, which was a little shocking. You won't see anything else at this stage though. It is quite painful, but as soon as you have passed the tissue it eases up a lot.

In terms of optimistic news, I have one DS and am currently pg wth DC2. Having a MMC is just tough luck, and doesn't mean that this is the end of the road for you. If anything it is a good sign that your body is good at being pregnant! (Sorry if that sounds cynical, what I mean is, with an MMC it is very unlikely there is something wrong with your body, as it continues with the pregnancy. It just wasn't a viable fetus, which is heartbreaking, but very common).

Look after yourself as much as possible. It sucks and it's unfair, but you will feel better.

Sorry Jane. l had one at 8+6 after seeing a hb a week earlier.

It is devastating

I opted for erpc, l wanted it over with quickly.

Tori 10 weeks? What NHS policy? I was offered surgical or medical immediately. That has shocked me. Poor you.

Thank you so much for responding Tori- I've never posted before, I think because of the 'feeling' it wouldn't work out- as if it was that precarious almost anything might jinx it- I do feel that, like you, I was probably tuned in- sometimes felt a bit guilty that I wasn't connecting (even though early) and in some ways, this aspect is a relief.

I wish you the very best with your baby- I think your more positive feeling is a good sign.

I feel a period type feeling growing so am trying to tell my body to let go. Can't believe just yesterday I was moving carefully because of sore boobs and nausea.

Thanks for your kind words and for taking the time to reply.
All best to you for now x

i suffered an mmc november last year. it is a heartbreaking thing to go through but you will get so much support on here.

i wont go into too much detail unless you want it but as someone else said i think the good thing (if there is one) about mmc is knowing our bodies can carry a pregnancy, my pregnancy stopped at 5+4 however i was still 'pregnant' at 14 weeks.

i hope this isnt insensitive but there is light at the end of the tunnel, i am currently 8+5 in my second pregnancy. i am 30 too.

take good care of yourself. have you been offered a rescan?

Sorry to hear you are having an awful time....im hoping to chime in with an 'im ancient and successful' story as requested!! Im 38, no children as yet and had a 6 week miscarriage at the start of last Summer which ended with d and c and laparoscopy as ectopic was suspected (it wasnt). Got pregnant again quickly and this ended in mmc at 10 weeks altho baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. I let nature take its course this time. Scared myself shitless on google but stocked up on paracetamol and codeine amd had hot water bottle on belly for the few worse hours. Bleeding was quite extreme and passed some pretty big clots and sac but was all manageable at home. And worse was over in a few hrs.

Got pregnant first cycle of trying after this and am now 18 weeks and so far so good.

Get snuggled down at home with some pain relief and hot water bottle and take care of urself. Ull obv feel shit for a while but you are DEFINITELY not too old for all this.
x

Wowzers you lot are brilliant! Thankyou so, so much for your lovely stories and sentiments.

I work with children and am a godmother a couple of times over and I think I'd started to believe this would be my lot, children-wise. So when it happened out of the blue (we only did it once) it seemed too good to be true- as in, I'm too proud/fearful/low sex drive or whatever to really actively 'try'. If (worst comes to worst) and it does never happen I'm really glad to have felt pregnant. It was like being allowed into a club at some level- no doubt all to do with the complexities of being a woman. So, might ditch the pride and try once the golf-balls pass.

You are all really kind to write and I wish you much luck with your pregnancies and babies (to the person who posted she hopes it's not insensitive- not at all). If I wasn't a bit washed out I'd reply name by name but wahhh, I'm going to run a bath.

Thanks again.

Oh and, gingerbreadmam thanks- a re-scan? Nope. That wasn't suggested. So if I stop bleeding I'll assume it's all gone. I'm guessing I will then get a 'normal' period at some point thereafter. Who knows- it's all a mystery.

oh jane so are you bleeding now and is it a proper bleed?

ur first scan was that due to pains and bleeding? maybe this second scan u have had is classed as the rescan. usually they scan you 7-14 days later to make sure the pregnancy has definitely ended.

what i would say if you are in the midst of a mc is one) it will not be like a heavy period but two) keep ab eye on the bleeding. with mine i had read about excessive bleeding on here so thought it was normal what happened to me but it wasnt and i had put myself in danger.

the general rule the hospital tells u is that when the bleeding is at its worse if you fill a maternity pad in half an hour (i think, could be an hour so u may av to check) then there is a prblem and you need to go to hospital. not to panic you.

Hi again, thanks gbm..

I went for a scan at six weeks because of pain which turned out to be from this large CL cyst. They said everything looked good and the re-scan was to check on the cyst. Maybe they were trying to worry me less, who knows.

Anyway, no blood as yet but I feel slightly periody and given that yesterday I felt my most pregnant, I'm hoping this is a sign that it will happen naturally.

I'm sorry you suffered such a traumatic loss. Yes, I don't really know how much blood is too much. They said if I felt faint I should go to Aand E. Otherwise said I should go to work and carry on as normal. I'd like to stay indoors still until it's all over to be honest, but going to take it day by day.

Hard being a woman sometimes eh?

Thanks again.

Jane I am so sorry. I had a delayed miscarriage last year at 10 weeks - the baby had died at 6 weeks. I was 39. I am now 40 and pregnant again.

for you. Do take care of yourself. I found it, emotionally, very painful and physically a bit grusome but not horrifically painful.

i would take time off work sick if i were you. if it starts at work it may be difficult to manage. the doctor will have no problem giving you a sick note to cover you from work.

it is a maternity pad every half your or having to change it in the hour. im sure you will be able to decide for yourself if it is too much so i wont go on.

to be prepared i would pop to boots get maternity pads and other sanitary towels, i got nightime and normal for when it lightened up a bit.

have strong painkillers, the hospital or gp can prescribe these or yu might be able to buy some in the pharmacy and have a hot water bottle or hottie ready as well. also if you feel it is coming i would make sure the house is warm and you are comfortable. i bought lots of mags to distract me a bit whilst stuck to the loo. sugary drinks are a good idea too incasw u do get a bit lightheaded.

thinking of u, hope ur ok

Thankyou GoooRooo- just made the mistake of googling around 'normal' blood loss and have read horror stories of pints and pints and near death- I'm quivering now! It reminds me of that bbc documentary the other day- did you see the woman on the canal boat who gave birth alone juxtaposed with the second time c-sectioner?! I long to be like the woman on the boat (miscarrying version) but now I'm thinking..medical intervention?

Thankyou for your lovely cheering story and for being a whole year older! Wishing you a very happy, healthy pregnancy and a brilliant baby at the end- exciting. Oh and thanks for the flowers too- I wish I could click on them and the real version appear!

Thanks again gingerbreadmam xx really kind of you

i wouldnt google it was googling that made me stupidly think all that blood was normal. its not.

if you feel feint,if its way more than you imagined, if you cant cope go straight to hospital. if you have the number of your local epu call them before hand or if at all u are unsure about what is going on, call them. they are there to help it is there job.

3 hours i sat on the loo for. dangerously stupid but i had 'googled'.

Hi Jane, I went through similar this summer - I started bleeding at 10.5 weeks, and a scan showed that development had stopped some time before. They rescanned me three times to confirm the miscarriage, but the bleeding never got heavier, and my body continued to grow the gestational sac. I eventually had an ERPC at about 14 weeks. If nothing changes for you in a week or so I'd really consider contacting the EPU again - that month of feeling pregnant, bleeding lightly for weeks and weeks and not getting closure was the worst time of my life.

You also mention worrying about your age, and this being an only chance - I'm 37 myself. The pregnancy I lost happened literally on the very first try (one single shag!), and this one (I'm now 19 weeks again) happened less than two months after my miscarriage, probably about 6 shags total. If you've gotten pregnant once without really trying, you probably will again, if you want to. Don't be afraid that this is your only chance, and don't be afraid that having one miscarriage means you can't be pregnant. First trimester miscarriage is REALLY common, and the fact that you got pregnant means a lot more for future fertility!

gosh sian i just had to comment your experience sounds almost identical to mine. (sorry to derail the thread) my sack continued growing and i ended up with erpc at 14 weeks too.

knew things had stopped at 9 weeks (actually stopped at 5+4) and like u the time between fnding out and it all being over completely traumatised me. i ended up having counselling. i had af 28days on from erpc then got pregnant that cycle and am now 8+5. your post has just cheered me up as i am having a wobble today. thanks

gingerbreadmam that's actually uncannily similar! I had the really strong feeling a week or two ahead, too. Huge sympathy for you, it's just awful to go through.
Glad to hear you got pregnant again quickly, that was what made me feel better. Although I was terrified for pretty much the whole first trimester this time!!

yeah tbh i was a complete mess crying every day flash backs etc until i got bfp which is now a nice lovely massive distraction.

im ok now im gettimg further on but wont settle properly until ive seen scan and like i say still get the odd wobble like today. hopefully tomo be better

Hello again, since posting I've waited it out but no sign of anything- occasional twinges, heat in lower back one day last week, but no blood. I don't think I was prepared for what a stressful time this would be. I've never experienced tiredness like it, and shivers and general malaise to the point I've called in sick at work, but guiltily, since nothing is actually happening.

I called EPU and they've suggested I come for a scan on Friday and have provisionally booked surgery for later that day. Never realised how frightened I am of general anaesthetic and of being poked about without being conscious- such a control freak! When she said I had to be on my own I cried! Feel like a baby!

Hello lovely,

I'm so sorry that this is dragging on for you. Please don't feel guilty for calling in sick, a lot of things are happening to you, internally, emotionally and physically and personally I think it helps to have time and space to process all the feelings about what's happening.

I had an MMC in January. Had a scan at 7+3 which showed a little heartbeat, had one 3 weeks later which didn't. I opted for medical management but under local anaesthetic and although it wasn't particularly 'fun', the procedure really wasn't that bad. So, perhaps you could opt for that if you are frightened of a general anaesthetic. I had lots of Gas and Air and a lovely nurse to hold my hand and talk to me whilst the doc was fiddling.

Much love to you. And if you'd like a happy ending, I've just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant again and all seems to be well.

Thank you my dears,

Nurse said that because of size this was the option they'd recommend?! Who knows- my phone showed a total of 56 calls before I managed to speak to a real person! Probably in shock I just said I'd see her Friday!

I'm usually quite resilient but maybe it's the hormones- I watched a woman, all glowing with her baby, in a shop yesterday and had to properly stop myself from going up to talk to her?! Bit unhinged- need to get back to work! Don't know what it was about- I think I felt so privileged to be pregnant and part of a 'club'- anyway, I'm reeling myself in!

But yes, time to process has been welcome in a funny way.

Thanks again both for taking time to respond- and congrats Librarina for your happy ending- you go girl!