I feel so guilty/worst mum to be

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

I was at work for about 15 hours yesterday, with a cold and headache plus morning sickness etc. etc. I came home to my dh, just wanting a little sympathy but he was in a bad mood because he'd had a bad day at work, and was annoyed that I'd been working late (like I have a choice) because he wanted an early night before an early start this morning.

To cut a long story short, it turned into a shouting (both of us), crying (me) row in which we both said some totally awful things: I said I didn't want to be married to him any more (totally, totally untrue), he took off his wedding ring, I threw my (empty!) sick bowl at a door . . . you get the picture.

Once we'd both calmed down we were both horrified at our behavious and felt like the worst people in the world. I'm 15 weeks pregnant with our surprise, but much wanted, first child. And now I feel like I don't deserve a child.

Sorry for the essay, but any words of wisdom? If someone could just tell me that having a baby will automatically make me a much better person, that would be great . . .

So outraged I felt the need to post twice it seems.

Early pregnancy is so tough, and exhausting and an emotional roller coaster. I think that it was hard for my DH to understand what I was going through at the start, I mean I looked the same to him but felt completely different. Once I was hugely fat and waddling larger, it was easier for him to get that things were different iyswim.
Don't beat yourself up over one argument. You need to have a good chat about it and then things will be fine

Totally normal behaviour it seems. I screamed fuck off just fuck off several times at DH when I was about 8wks. I don't swear and scream as a rule, and like a pp said, am usually the calm one who stops things escalating. DH fucked off and threw his door key back at me. He came back a few hours later and we made up.

I'm 18wks now and it hasn't happened again yet and we are actually getting better at communicating!

I had a big row with dh last night, over me sending some hair curlers back. I though he was being a dick, and he thought I was massively overreacting I think he may have been a teensy bit right

Defo the hormones, my raging was one of the reasons I tested at 10dpo as I'd had a meltdown over house hunting.

So only two meltdowns to date, but I bet there will be more!