What is it about sex in the third tri?

[obeliaboo]

Im aware this wont be the first time anyone has vented frustrations about sex in the third trimester, but i feel the need to whinge and be reminded im not alone. :(
Partner has seemingly gone off sex with me, doesn't grab at me, finds an excuse to avoid sex (phone, pc/ps4, tired), says the baby 'will know' etc which is bollocks. He tells me he loves me, kisses etc, but its not the same anymore, there's no passion, i feel like we've completely drifted apart. Its starting to feel more like having a housemate than a soulmate.
I'm 33 weeks, have had a fairly non hormonal pregnancy experience, but this is making me feel rejected, ugly, unwanted and i just want comfort from him but he just keeps acting like this is normal.
I know he's fed up with pregnancy now and just wants the baby here, but so do i and i want him back.

Anyone?

I can't speak for 3rd trimester yet, but I can say that my partner does get very funny about me leaning on him during sex.

He now no longer lets me go on top despite me keep telling him the baby is fine!!

He does still want to have sex with me lots, but I did have a couple of days after my last scan where he was clearly avoiding me. I spoke to him about it and he just said he doesn't want to harm the baby.

Speak to your OH calmly and see what's up.

See my partner wont go on top when we do, he will only let me go on top but its too much effort for me.
He wont even talk about it, just changes the topic.

I certainly don't think it is anything to do with not fancying you, he probably is just worrying about the baby.

I suspect my OH will head in the same direction as lots of men do.

My friend had her baby 4 weeks ago, her OH only had sex with her once during the pregnancy and not once since.

It really puts a strain on things.

I tend to cry if OH doesn't want me, and that prompts him in to telling me what's wrong!

Afraid this is normal... And probably something you need to get used to for the first few months after baby arrives too! My DH had many issues around sex while I was pregnant (long before third trimester too)!
Indulge yourself in other ways, make an effort to feel attractive and beautiful in other ways, and don't let this come between you and your DH.
Try talking to him of course, but I think we ought to accept that a big baby bump probably isn't the biggest turn on... It probably weirds a lot of men out, and we need to respect that.

And if all else fails and you need 'something' buy a vibrator!

My husband was the same.. It took me 2 pregnancies to understand. I thought it was me, and so unfair, I was vulnerable and fat and his action - or lack of them- made me feel awful. When Im not pregnant we have sex a lot so it was really difficult to accept. But the truth is, well at least for us, when Im pregnant, with a massive bump and my shape has changed he isn't sexually attracted to me. He loves me, but he just doesn't want to f me ! Now first pregnancy he made very little efforts and I felt so insecure and lost. And I was so hormonal it was a nightmare. But 2nd pregnancy he made an effort and I on the other hand was more understanding. its sad to think your husband has to make an effort to have sex with you but I had a HUGE bump and I get it now. So the first 2 trimester even thought it was considerably less than normally it was a bit better but the 3 rd trimester I swallowed my pride a bit and was patient. I might be wrong but for us it was just physical he wasn't actually falling out of love with me. Now of course being close physically makes you close as a couple in general so its hard but its temporary. Two beautiful babies later, Im a back to my former self and things are great in bed once again. Hope this helps, I really know how you feel and I hope this trimester flies by for you..You could try asking him if what I just wrote is the pbm? All the best x

I won't let DH go anywhere near me…4th pregnancy and I have the worst vaginal varicose veins (never had them before), general swelling and not to mention the piles! There is no way I want him to see them and would much rather we waited till things were normal again. Besides, now I am enormous (31 weeks) I can barely lie comfortably, let alone entertain the idea of a shag!

Just to manage your expectations - remember that you will bleed quite a lot and for a prolonged period of time after giving birth. So you are unlikely to want to/be able to have sex straight away.

Good news for me was, I found sex a lot more satisfying after having babies i.e orgasms were very easy!

Thank you for the responses.
I'd buy a vibrator in heartbeat but i cant be bothered tbh, its not climax i want - just him. I've given up, he can't even think of anywhere to go with me for days out because of bump.
I have quite a neat bump, i'm 'all baby' apparently, hardly any weight gain so i've been lucky.
All i can think about is once im healed up post baby, is buying a hybrid bike, getting into climbing and getting monsterously active, physically stronger and being away from everything with my baby strapped to me instead of this needy attitude.
He just changes the topic if i bring sex up :(

Can you not think of nice days out together? Can you not still cuddle in bed if it is intimacy and not actual sex you want? I thought you were upset about the lack of physical sex, but it sounds like there is something more to it? You mention he has a needy attitude - can you expand on this?

I think you need to talk to him but also understand that for a man, sex can be strange when you are carrying a very obvious baby in your tummy - it is not always a turn on for them. It does not mean that they have stopped loving you!

im 35 weeks and havent got this problem this time but did the last 2 pregnancies. not sure why its not happened this time but im not complaining. i know exactly how you feel tho its rubbish and makes you feel so rejected

Im only 23 weeks atm but feel totally opposite, ive totally gone off sex but my partner keeps saying i look beautiful pregnant etc and i feel bad for turning down the affection but just dont feel in the mood :(

Maybe i should expand - i HAVE been suggesting a multitude of things, the outdoors, cinema, bowling, cities wanders, museums, the god damn zoo and his answer is always, 'i dont know' which comes across as 'i cant be arsed'. so i have stopped making any suggestions at all.
Cuddling in bed, is about as likely as a pig flying tbh, again, he will be on his phone. I want intimacy. No phones, no tech, no distractions. I do want sex which is the main thing overall, but i want his bloody attention. He used to be fantastic, and its not like he's turned into an arsehole, its just that he has this perpetual fed up attitude that is now making me fed up and like a waste of space.
First and second trimester he would call me beautiful, he would pay more attention, im hardly needy, i just need a physical connection once in a while and when he has a few days off ive got no issue with him wanting to do bugger all, but atleast take the time to think 'hey, you know what, we should go out somewhere, lets go xyz for a change before baby is here'.
Its not like he doesn't make little gestures, bring me a sweet home or something, suggest a film or eat with me. But i feel invisible as a 'partner'.