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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Too Cute?

23 replies

Skeppers · 22/02/2015 11:44

I've been watching episodes of 'Too Cute' on Animal Planet this morning...

Kind of wishing that I was giving birth to a puppy! Bear with me: puppies are SO CUTE, whereas babies leave me cold. Since finding out I'm pregnant, I've tried my hardest to coo and fawn over babies, or even just take an interest, but I'm just not feeling it. Looking at baby clothing, etc. leaves me underwhelmed and I'm finding it hard to get excited. When they get to 18 months/2 years then great! They develop a personality and some of them can be pretty cool! But babies? Ick.

I'd like to make it clear that this was a planned pregnancy and both my husband and I do 100% want this child!

But I'm a first-timer. Please tell me that my feelings will change when I have my own and I'll think it's the most amazing thing in the world!? Have never been naturally maternal or clucky and am a bit of a tomboy. Just worried because I don't have these natural inclinations right now that I may struggle to bond when baby is here and I won't be a very good mum. Sad Should I be feeling more 'motherly' by now? I'm 16wks today.

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MissTwister · 22/02/2015 11:56

Hello, I'm 17 weeks and don't really have the slightest interest in other people's babies - they're just a bit dull aren't they? I have always felt like this!

I'm sure we'll think our own babies are cute though, and as you say as they get older and get personalities they are fab!

MrsMogginsMinge · 22/02/2015 12:01

Yep, same here. Due to give birth any day now. To be fair I do find friends' and family's babies slightly more interesting than random ones so I'm hoping my own will be even more so. Will report back once I've popped.

Moresproutsplease · 22/02/2015 12:05

Babies don't take eighteen months to develop a personality - they have their own from birth.

I'm sure you will feel differently once you meet your baby, what an exciting time for you Smile

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/02/2015 12:06

My DD is 15 months and the apple of my eye. However I still have little to no interest in other people's babies (or toddlers). The worst thing about baby and toddler groups is other people's children! I realise that most other people feel like that about my child too Smile.

Skeppers · 22/02/2015 12:27

Thank you all SO much! Grin

Actually a work colleague of mine did say that the one thing that didn't change when they had kids of their own was their loathing of other people's...I suppose as long as you love and care for your own child(ren) it doesn't really matter what you think of others!

Cheers everyone. Feel much more normal now! Smile

OP posts:
rubberducky87 · 22/02/2015 12:41

Oh yeah,I know exactly how you feel! I have zero interest in babies. I'm a couple of days away from my due date now and I'm still the same. Of course, I am excited for my baby to come but still feel a bit empty and weird because I have no interest in anything else baby related. Even still, buying clothes, getting nursery ready... Nada. Oh well, I'm sure it will change when he's born haha

Cisforcat · 22/02/2015 12:50

I've always disliked children really. Most would have described me as the most unmaternal person in the world yet I can't tell you how much my dd is my world. I love her more than I ever thought possible- however I do have even less tolerance of others children now.

It will change I promise - maybe not instantly ( I didn't bond with dd for a while) but she's 14 months old now - a lovely little caring, funny , intelligent little girl and I am so very proud and lucky to have her in my life. In a few months time you'll be exactly the same. I don't doubt it!

DeladionInch · 22/02/2015 12:54

They're helpless babies for about 4 months, you'll be a parent for the rest of your life. 4 months is nothing, blink and you miss it!

HazleNutt · 22/02/2015 12:58

My first is 19 months and I still don't find anybody else's babies too interesting. Pregnant again and in all honesty, not looking forward to the newborn stage - they are quite boring. It's just a few months though. Does not mean there's anything wrong with you.

bwow · 22/02/2015 13:00

Agree, scared of babies! Loved my niece from the moment I met her but would avoid contact with babies under any other circumstance. Throughout my pregnancy I wasn't excited and felt guilty everytime someone said I bet you can't wait... Isn't it exciting etc. I didn't get the sudden rush of love everyone talks about. I'm usually very emotional and didn't cry at the birth. So don't let that worry you. I spent the first 4 days of her life staring at her, crying tears of love.

Allstoppedup · 22/02/2015 13:02

Other peoples babies are boring, generally yours are the best thing ever.Grin

That said, as much as I loved some of DS' smooshy baby stage he is SO much better now he's 14 months and a cheeky, smiley, walking, talking thing!

ChazzerChaser · 22/02/2015 13:05

I felt like you.

I thought my cat was the cutest thing ever. Kittens too. Lambs, absolutely gorgeous. Babies, meh.

Now I've had my own, he is about a thousand times cuter than the cutest thing I thought I'd ever seen before. I would never have thought that possible.

Katie2489 · 22/02/2015 13:09

Newborns are boring boring boring. I'm looking at mine now and I love her but I'm bored. Not for long though. Toddlers are fun and interesting and, erm, 'challenging'. I'm not maternal but boy do I love mine. I'm ambivalent towards others'. I generally don't notice them.

plinkyplonks · 22/02/2015 13:18

Skeppers - I felt the same as you! The thing that changed it for me was seeing my baby on a 3d scan at 16 weeks - seeing her feet, hands, face - all so nearly fully formed, seeing her shnuggle up to the cord and placenta trying to get comfy and have a snooze! A few weeks later I started feeling movements (like fishies swishing in my pelvic area!) and slowly those movements became more clear (or so I thought)... I thought I was being punched and kicked, but a later scan showed she was just trying to get comfy and have a snooze! Hard to get mad at that and not blown away by the fact that I already had this baby I was swaying to sleep without realising it!

Right now I am 30 weeks pregnant, and the baby already reacts if I sing to her, she completely reacts to my emotions (as confirmed in hospital when I was on monitoring!) - if I'm scared her heart rate goes up and she goes very quiet movement wise, if she moves around heavily I can stroke my belly and she calms down!

I can see her move and body shape from the outside .. a few weeks ago that would have really freaked me out but somehow, when it's your baby and your body you feel different about it. You will become so protective of him/her - from around 20 weeks I started getting really weird dreams about what I'd do if anyone tries to hurt her!

Without realising it, you're already doing so much to protect your baby - not eating certain foods, or maybe not drinking, protecting your bump area when you are out and about. From 20 weeks things really start to change - I was cynical to start off with .. but your baby will really grow and the way you feel now may be totally different once you start to see outside movement or if you get a 3d scan.

Forget about other people's babies - they are not your baby - they don't look like you, they don't rely on you and you don't necessary love them either! This is your baby, your baby relies 100% on you - he/she was created by you and your husband alone, your body is doing incredible things right now to develop this baby and the next few weeks are going to be pretty tiring but just mind blowing. You go from thinking about 'pregnancy' to OH MY GOD I can see my belly moving and there are elbows, arms and all kinds of baby stuff in there :P HOW DID THAT HAPPEN! And yet if you see someone else's baby, you can still think "Meh!".

And no some people don't love their babies for a really long time - after all babies don't do all sorts of cool stuff, probably will not smile at you for a good few weeks - will tire you out!

But you just have to consider that a baby is not just a baby, they are a person - a tiny little person who 100% relies on you for everything. You are already doing this now without realising it - your body is feeding your baby, protecting them, keeping them warm, giving them a safe place to sleep... :)

You will be looking after this person when they are at their most vulnerable - and the tiny newborn stage is not forever, although I'm sure it will feel like it! Pregnancy is 9 months ... at 9 months old your baby will be more toddler like, and all of my nieces and nephews all had distinctive and loveable traits by that stage.

So in short, don't panic - how your feeling is normal. Most parents I know felt the same, i know i did before i got pregnant and up until the stage you are now. You'll be fine, give yourself a break! And huge congratulations on your pregnancy x

Gemzybelle · 22/02/2015 13:25

I'm really not taken by other peoples children at all. I only like my own Grin

I'm sure you will be fine Flowers

33goingon64 · 22/02/2015 16:40

I remember meeting up with a friend who'd just had her baby when I was about 39 weeks. I found her expressions of love for this little red faced monster completely baffling. A week later I held DS for the first time and the love hasn't stopped flowing since. Other people's babies will become slightly more interesting, mainly as a comparison to yours (I don't mean in a competitive way) but your own will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. 16 weeks is incredibly early still. I don't think I felt attached to DS until he was actually out.

sianihedgehog · 22/02/2015 18:59

I'm totally with you OP! newborns are not fun. Otoh, as others have said, it doesn't last long. By the time they're a few months old they are actually really interactive - they can start to learn sign language before they can speak, and they can laugh before either. Making a baby smile and laugh is surprisingly rewarding, in the same way toddlers are. :)

VikingLady · 22/02/2015 19:08

I was never been remotely interested in other people's babies and children and loathed being asked to hold them. I'm still not keen on most. But my own DD is a different matter - beautiful, fascinating, funny, intelligent and generally a pleasure to be around - if a little full on at nearly 3!

It did take me until 4m to bond with her though, and I'm not the only person I know who took that long. I was possessive and protective of her from day one, but couldn't really see what the point of her was until one day at about four months when I got a massive hormone rush and fell in love. I don't think it's coincidence (in hindsight) that that's when they have a huge developmental leap!

I doubt I'll ever like other people's kids though. Noisy, smelly, boring, badly behaved or freakily obedient....

hideandseekpig · 22/02/2015 19:12

My baby is absolutely wonderful. She's truly perfect. Other people's are ok sometimes but mostly annoying and a bit smelly Grin and yes I'm sure they think the same about my dd!!

I do like tiny babies though!

Tangoandcreditcards · 22/02/2015 19:24

My first is 12 months. I felt EXACTLY like that (except I'm not that bothered about puppies) right up to his birth. I basically told everyone that as I'd done the "first" 9 months, DH was responsible for the first 9 months after birth.

I changed quite literally the instant he was born and found him the most adorable, lovable, cute person imaginable. DH barely got a look in. Also, for the first 4-6 months, I spent time trying to persuade DH that we should have 5, 6, maybe 10 babies (we're late 30s/40 so it was quite an optimistic ambition), and jealously eyeing up women with younger babies. It calmed down after that a bit, but hormones and emotions have a lot to answer for!

I'm not saying you'll go as baby-bonkers as me, but it does happen!

SueV14 · 22/02/2015 19:29

OP, I'm totally with you on puppies and muuuuch less interest in babies. 17 weeks now and don't feel the slightest interest in looking at baby clothes, toys or furniture etc. And same here, planned and wanted pregnancy.
I'm hoping it will all come once the baby is born.

mrsdos · 22/02/2015 21:43

Skeppers are you me?
All the close family we have told so far (only 13 weeks) have said 'but you don't like babies' which tbh I have found a little hurtful as our baby was planned (just happened a bit quicker than we imagined). If I'm honest, I don't really like babies, but other people telling me that is unwelcomed. I'm sure I will like the baby when it arrives, I have to, it's not like I can send it back.

rosedavo · 23/02/2015 15:08

Just because your not a mega baby person doesnt mean you might struggle bonding, (before getting pregnant i have to admit im left totally cold by babies, im not a baby or kid person AT ALL) im really excited etc but i am too worrying about if i will 'bond' as i find it hard to interact with other peoples/families kids but i dont think you have to be all 'omg there so cute' etc to bond, im hoping i will find my own way :)

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