No idea how to deliver 3rd baby!

[muppetisacat]

Anyone with any experience/advice out there for me...please give it!

Had dd 9 yrs ago. Long labour. Partial face presentation and posterior too. Ended up scary ventouse, lots of stitches, all drugs known to man, I was out of control and thought I had gone mad! I had laboured with just gas and air and had been pushing before it was discovered everything was wrong and can just remember the terrible pain. Swore never to give birth again.

Fast forward to 7 years ago and I am in denial, sitting in hospital bed with epidural and drip feeling surreal like nothing is particularly happening. Felt a bit odd - called the midwife who saw ds's head ready to emerge. Gave few pushes, out he came.

Here I am now. 21 weeks pregnant. No idea what I want from birth. No clue what I expect from it. Can't actually imagine myself managing it. Are 3rd children the awkward ones as other mothers delight in announcing? How do I get geared up for something that my brain is refusing to discuss?!!!

What you want - a healthy baby. What to expect - some pain You still have time. Good luck.

Don't panic, My third baby is now 12 weeks old getting into labour was a bit awkward stop starting for a couple of days but once it started a straight forward homebirth, not even a graze.
I had a panic about the labour, dd's delivery (9yrs ago) long and left all day without being checked on until 10cm and pushing tears and allsorts. But I had ds1 at home(7yrs ago) just gas and air and graze and figured that if I'd done it twice before my body had a fair idea what it was doing.
Just have faith in yourself but don't expect 3rd lo early, hadn't reach my due date before number 3 who decided to come 2 days late just to annoy me
Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy, I miss my very large bump that has been replaced by jelly

Thankyou for that whitestar... nice not to hear about long strange labour with a third child for a change.

I know it probably sounds pathetic to worry about the birth when I technically have gone through it twice before (and after a rocky start to this pregnancy I am so pleased just to still be carrying this child) but I really need to take some time to think about the fact that I will actually have to give birth if I make it full term.

You sound as though you also have the same massive age gaps between 2nd and 3rd (7 years) - how are you finding that. Does your 9 year old daughter help much??

I have 5 years between 2nd and 3rd (2 years between first two)

Number 3 (13 weeks old) was by far the easiest birth - born 90 minutes after I got to hospital in the birthing pool with just gas and air, after a very easy labour.

9 yr old a bit full on at first but it was the summer holidays and she was there at the birth and cut ds2's cord! But they're both quite useful now fetching things for me. Oh apart from dd dropping ds2 on his head on sunday but best not to talk about that!

You've got loads of time to get your head round it all, start from scratch, buy moyher and baby magazine and just get yourself back into the birthing frame of mind

Keep us posted!

Thats, MOTHER and baby magazine, no idea what a MOYHER is

Quote "Are 3rd children the awkward ones as other mothers delight in announcing?"

Yes but only AFTER they are born!

I was very upset by ds1's birth (though not nearly as unpleasant as yours was for you), dd's birth was better - good enough to wipe the horribleness of ds1's birth - but still not exactly 'fun'. And I had 2nd degree tears with both of them.

Ds2's birth 10 days ago OTOH was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I can't believe how wonderful it was, and I'm already sad that I'm not going to get the chance to do this again.

The first two births were looooong exhausting labours, and I delivered in a bed. The third was short, sharp, and fast, and I delivered in a birthing pool. The speed of the labour was almost too fast for us - we didn't get a chance to get into the rhythm of it - but I was completely aware of what was happening in my body and not overwhelmed by exhaustion. The delivery itself was fantastic - I put it all down to being in the pool, and could not now conceive of elivering anywhere else, were I to have another (no chance ). Also, I had a lot of support from this thread.

What I had hoped for this time, apart of course from a healthy baby, was:

• to trust in myself that my body had been through this before and would recognise what was going on
• a waterbirth, because I love being in water and was sure it would relax me and help me
• a more gentle birth, without having to push into the pain

I got all these, and more - see my post of 18 October, 2006 2:23:36 PM on that thread - the wonderful and unforeseen bonus being that I did not need stitches.

HTH in your thinking and preparation for the birth. Something I would suggest, having done this when preparing for my second birthing, is to debrief yourself with a specialist midwife, so that you can go through your previous labours and clear the air for yourself, deal with any issues that remain to bother you, before you have to start dealing with another labour. It really helped me enormously.

Hi muppetisacat. Sounds like your first birth was quite traumatic. My first birth with dd was textbook and lasted 7 hours (2 of those pushing). My 2nd birth was 1 hr and was fast and furious. Not particularly traumatic just v painful. Had no gas or drugs as too quick. When pregnant with my 3rd I was terrified and kept putting it out of my mind. Went into labour 3 weeks early and was still panicking. I was so bad my midwife told me to get a grip and focus on having the baby. I couldn't and the labour lasted 4 hours and I cried and carried on through the whole thing. Wasn't a "hard" birth as such, I just wasn't prepared. Realise now my attitude affected whole experience.

I really think you need to get your head around the impending birth and try to think positively. Sounds like your 2nd birth went quite smoothly. Put a plan in place but don't have high expectations in case it goes a bit differently. Think about the beautiful bub you will have at the end.

Awww...must admit, sadly in my case the 3.child unlucky came true...however, I know plenty of people that had wonderful 3rd Births!
I'd say try a Homebirth Maybe in your own environment you would feel better and more in control...and if you want you can always decide that you would like to go to Hospital afterall, well, unless your Baby is popping out already and the phase of...I can't do this anymore....was the transition stage of labour!
Best of luck!

Pretty candles - sounds like we had very similar birth experiences for number 3. Straight afterwards I turned to dh and said "I could do that again"

Thanks for that Prettycandles... so lovely to hear such a positive outcome - will investigate the thread.
And, mymama - you are right that I need to take some time, talk to midwife etc to get my head around things. I remember my midwife telling me at the time she thought I was traumatised by what had happened. She wanted me to talk about it 9 years ago, but I couldn't.

At the end of the day what matters is that I have a healthy baby delivered - in whatever manner that ends up being. Time to start some positive thinking I reckon... as has been mentioned on this thread - I have done this twice b4 so the way has been paved (so to speak!) Water birth sounds very tempting too!!

Thanks for all your words of support/advice xxx

I too thought that the only thing that mattered was a healthy baby. I did feel very empowered and successful after the birth of ds1, despite the awfulness of the experience.

But you are more than a delivery machine, and your feelings about the birth matter a lot. It's all tied up together - self esteem is important, your feelings are important.

Allow yourself to feel bad about things, respect your right to feel bad - you don't have to feel grateful!

3rd was the easiest and quickest for me.

Hi muppetisacat... are you due in March ? Come and join the "due in March thread"...

Lots of third, fourth, fifth and even sixth timers to give you loads of ongoing support.

I am on my 3rd... and hoping that the birth will be a really positive experience. Had home birth with DS2 and hoping for same with this DS too.

Do you have any ideas about where you want to have your baby ? You will manage it - you have done it twice before

Hi there laidbackinatransylvaniancoffin! Yep I'm due in March - must investigate the due in march thread then!

feeling more and more positive just from chatting to people through mumsnet - when you start to find out about other people's births you realise the vast majority can be ok!

Positive mental attitude is my mantra for the day. I will have to have baby in the hospital unfortunately as it's necessary for me to have antibiotics during labour due to a heart murmur. This does slightly limit my delivery options but I'm def. going to get a tens machine this time and try to see how I get on without just plumping for epidural as soon as the first twinge appears.

The nightmare for me is that I hate not knowing how long the labour is going to last! Sounds mad, but I would be able to cope with the pain better if someone had a crystal ball and could say encouraging things like... "only half an hour to go" etc Hmmmmm.... if only...!!!