Pregnancy shock at 43

[Amanda661]

I don't know what to do. I have two already and just found out I was pregnant.my OH is 49 and our first thought was we are just too old. However the thought of terminating, though seemingly logical for all sorts of practical reasons, seems so distressing - as does the thought of actually continuing the pregnancy. I'm only 6 weeks but if I'm going to end it I want to do it soon. I just don't know what to do so any advice would be truly appreciated.

Hearing lots of stories of women in their forties having babies, so it is more common than you realise. Hope someone with more advice will come along soon.

I suppose the things to consider are can you afford another child, do you have the room etc etc.
I had my ds 2 at 43 and apart from the higher risk factors & the stress of amnio, everything went fine, he is a happy, healthy 2 year old now.

The big difference I have noticed from having ds 1 10 years ago is that I am thoroughly enjoying every second of my little one. I had to make major changes to accommodate him, worth every last one, it's fine, great in fact.

Do you feel too old or is it just something you think others will say? I had my DD at 41 and I am by no means alone, a friend had her first at 48. Your age is just a number, it can increase some risks but it is by no means impossible to have a healthy pregnancy in your 40's. I found I was healthier this time around than in my 20's and coped with the pregnancy really well. I'm not going to lie, running round after a toddler is hard work when you are older but like the previous poster I am appreciating every second so much more

I don't think any of us can tell you what the 'right' decision is, only you and your DP can do that. I hope you find the support you need here and in RL to make the right decision for you and your family

I think it's his age mainly that he is concerned about. With current kids they will be out to uni in 9 years . With baby 3 we are looking at nineTEEN. However I am so in love with my OH that I know that a termination would also leave a permanent impression. Or scar. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and have been crying since in found out three days ago. Initially was going to take misoprostol as a knee jerk reaction - thank god I didn't.....

I can appreciate that it's a concern for him. My eldest is leaving for uni in september but DD is only 2 so I will be almost 60 by the time she is considering leaving home. I am fit and healthy and expecting to live to a ripe old age but, whatever your age, none of us knows what the future might bring.

Could you ask to be referred for counselling? Perhaps you could attend together and this could help you decide?