Just found I'm pregnant - feeling scared! Is this normal?

[corkles]

Hello,

I feel so terrible writing this, but after six months of trying to conceive I found out a couple of days ago that I'm pregnant (2-3 weeks). My feelings have completely taken me by surprise, and I'm feeling totally overwhelmed, scared and unsure about the future.

I'm 33, have been with my husband for 12 years and we got married last year. We're just about to complete on buying our first home together - so I know we're stable and both of us is ready for this.

I just keep worrying about losing my identity, feeling isolated and not being able to cope. It's so strange as all I've ever wanted in life is to be a mummy. Is it normal to feel like this?

I'm also due to be bridesmaid for my best friend at the end of October - have a feeling that's when I'm due. Feel so terrible having to tell her.

I don't want to sound heartless or ungrateful. We've always wanted children, and I know deep down that this is such an amazing thing - but I can't help think about the negatives.

Just wanted to get some advice from you guys. Thank you x

It's absolutely normal, we tried for 18 months to get pregnant with our first and as soon as I got the positive test I felt utterly overwhelmed. I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant with my 4th and still feel the same! Children do change everything but they also bring a lot of fun, laughter and positives as well! Good luck and enjoy the good times x

Congratulations!

Oh don't be silly, of course you are going to feel all those feelings, its massive! But you will be excellent - you wont change as a person, or loose your old self, you are just evolving/adapting into a mum.

Take things one step at a time. xx

Gosh, Yes! Totally normal - but not very nice when you are going through it. I might get shouted at for saying this, but I think it's made worse by being a little bit older. You have been independent and grown up for so long, it's scary to think that might change.

As a PP said - you'll evolve into a new version of you; it can be a roller coaster and sometimes there will be negatives but there will also be lots and lots of positives too.

I felt like this at first, even though pregnancy was planned! It just suddenly hit me, I couldn't stop saying 'oh my God'. There was also the realisation that/fear about baby's in there now, it's gonna have to come out. Sounds silly but I think most people feel scared at the start, because they're not ready for a baby right there and then. Now I have been planning and preparing for the baby's arrival for months I'm not scared, just excited. Congratulations!

I Felt exactly the same when I found out , we had only been trying a month when I got pregnant and I felt really overwhelmed and unsure if it's really what I wanted ( even though I'd decided it was what I wanted) but luckily you've got 9 months to get your head round it and I bet in a few weeks you'll start to get really excited! My dd is now 17 days old and although it's tough I couldn't be happier . My advice would be to go to an antenatal class as you'll make friends and it's comforting to talk to people going through the same thing as you and listening to hypno birthing CDs helps with relaxation. Good luck and congratulations!

Totally normal. It is a huge resposibility, it would be strange not to feel even slightly scared! I was 40, married, very much wanting a baby, I got pregnant quite quickly and when I found out I was a bit "Uh oh...do I really want a baby after all? " for a week or so. Happy on one level but daunted on another! I think everyone feels that tbh.

Completely normal! Congratulations.. It will soon settle and you'll begin to look forward to the new arrival :)
I'm sure your friend won't mind about you bowing out of your bridesmaid duties if it's too close to due date :)

I've just found out that I'm expecting my third.. For the first two I was shaking whilst looking at the positive tests, despite having planned them! It's because those little lines make everything real.. This pregnancy is a little bit different so no nerves this time around, just joy.

Head on over to the ante-natal threads :) xxx

Thank you so much for getting back to me everyone - it's so reassuring to know this is quite a common feeling, and your advice is so helpful.

I've only told my mum (and husband!) so far - I think that not being able to share news and talk it through with friends and colleagues makes it a bit harder too. So hearing this from you all has been so helpful.

thank you!

yes totally normal. I have been looking forward to starting a family for years but actually being pregnant is a whole new feeling. I thought I would be so happy and excited but actually I felt quite flat about it. I'm 33 too so I have lots of friends with kids but also know about the things that can go wrong. I'm now 21 weeks and still have moments when I panic and then moments when I'm tearful about how exciting and amazing it will be!

Totally normal! Just because something is planned doesn't mean it isn't scary when it happens for real !!

My ds was a happy accident and totally unprepared in terms of relationship/house/money etc yet I kinda jus took it all in my stride BUT now I'm in a position where all those things are sorted and im settled etc the thought of actually planning a second is kinda scary keep worrying about hypothetical things that arent actually even an issue with already having a child haha ( I'm crazy though)

So try not to over think things
Hormones have a lot to answer for too!!!

Girl can u tell me if this is a positive on both test pleaseeee

And again

Sounds exactly like I felt when I found out I was expecting dc2. Shitting myself, to be frank. However within a few weeks everything changed. I'm 28 weeks now and can't wait to meet this new little fella. Accept that it will take time to adjust to the idea but believe me you will. Congratulations!
Re being a bridesmaid I would just be honest with your friend and offer to help in other ways, just not necessarily as a bm on the day. Unless she's a complete bridezilla she'll be fine. Just tell her before she orders your dress!

I've been with my husband 17 years, married 7 and we'd been trying. However I felt teary and depressed for a good few weeks after I found out I was pregnant - I felt a bit devasted as everything would change. I'm 17 weeks now and feel much more positive and excited. Hormones are crazy and it IS a big life change, esp if you've been with the same person for a long time.

I felt like this on and off the whole time I was pregnant with DS. It's so normal!
Congratulations

I sure hope it is, I've felt this way through both pregnancies (due 7/23 this time),

Paige, you are better starting your own thread. And no, it looks negative to me.

I think this feeling is very normal
When I found out (at 4.5 weeks) I was terrified and felt overwhelmed, even though deep down I've always wanted kids. My partner was away on a business trip, I was in hospital and I felt constantly nauseous.
For a few weeks I just felt very stressed, tearful and worried. But around week 7, when we saw the heartbeat on a scan, everything changed and I started feeling very glad and excited.
I think there's a difficult transition period in early pregnancy, where you realise the gravity of what is happening to your body and life, and it's natural to struggle to get your head round it all.
For me, the constant sickness took a lot of getting used to! At 8.5 weeks I'm still vomiting several times a day, but I've developed better coping strategies, and I'm more content to function at a slower pace, rather than push myself to do the things I did pre-pregnancy.
Good luck, hope you feel better soon!