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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I denied being pregnant

31 replies

Ainsley1999 · 18/02/2015 10:17

I had sex for the first time at new year with my mums friends son and now I have found out im pregnant.

I told the boy and he told his friend and now it has got round my school.

When people at school wer asking me if I was pregnant I said no but my guidance teacher found out and he pulled me into his office and asked me if I was pregnant and I said no.

I am only about 8 weeks but my belly is already looking swollen and im worried people are going to start noticing. I dont want to drop out of school because I have exams coming up and I want to do well. I thought about moving to another school wer no one knows me but I dont think it will be an option.

How long can u hide that your pregnant and is there anyway to delay your belly growing

OP posts:

TheXxed · 18/02/2015 10:21

Have you considered all of your options? And how you will look after the baby?

happygojo · 18/02/2015 10:32

Sweetie, you need to go and see a doctor and speak to someone older you can trust (mum? Aunt? Teacher? Dad? older Sister?) there is help and advice out there. I know you must be terrified but you have a very big decision to make that only you can do this, and for that you will need a lot of support and advice. If you try and hide being pregnant for too long it will be too late. You also need some advice on looking after yourself and your baby should you decide to continue with the pregnancy. Plenty of women have babies young and make a real go of their lives and are amazing mums, and also many women choose termination and know it is the right choice for them. But you need to make the decision yourself. Is there a family planning walk-in you can go to? As for school..... even if everyone does know.... you will be old news soon! try not to let it get to you

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood · 18/02/2015 10:40

Please don't hide.

You and your baby need care through this pregnancy if you want to go ahead. If you don't, a gp or family planning centre will still be the best place to go to for advice. And you need support either way. Yes, your family may be disappointed and angry to begin with but they will come to terms with this and ultimately want to help you.

Original poster

Ainsley1999 · 18/02/2015 10:43

My mum already knows and she took me to see the doctor last week. I want to keep the baby but I just dont want any one at school knowing

When do you start to look pregnant?

OP posts:

Greenrememberedhills · 18/02/2015 10:45

Please tell your mum.

And anyway being 8 weeks pregnant now would definitely not stop you from sitting your exams,if you decided to go ahead with the pregnancy.

SweetsForMySweet · 18/02/2015 10:47

I know you probably don't want to, but you need to tell your mum/dad now rather than waiting until they hear it from someone else/the school contact them/you start showing/it gets too near your exams. The longer you leave it, the worse/harder it will be. If you are not already taking a folic acid supplement, you need to start (it's important because it helps prevent birth defects in the baby) you can buy it in a pharmacy or health shop. Contact your local family planning clinic for advice, it is confidential and they can offer you good support. You parent(s) will probably be shocked by your pregnancy at first but will calm down and be able to help you and offer support.

Greenrememberedhills · 18/02/2015 10:48

Probably some time over the Easter holidays you'll start to show.

You may be able to agree with the school alternative ways to manage after Easter such as revising at home.

But you will need to attend the exams.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 18/02/2015 10:50

If you are keeping the baby, people will know. Now or later. There really is no point hiding.

happygojo · 18/02/2015 10:50

It depends on so many different things, like how big you are to start with and whether you are bloated etc. You may just look like you have gained a bit of weight for a while, but the truth will out. Also just like if you were at work, the school need to do a risk assessment and you may need to be excused from certain tasks like some sports in PE (not necessarily but maybe) and possibly certain chemicals etc so the school faculty need to know for yours and your baby's safety. As for the little scrotes at your school. They will know eventually and it will suck, but you will get through it. I am guessing you are in year 11? If so at least you won't have to be there too much longer. But you will likely be showing before your exams. With the joy of a uniform there isn't much hiding either I guess. Also you may get sick in the next few weeks, so the school may be able to provide you with work to do at home and maybe coursework extensions.

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood · 18/02/2015 10:52

That's great that you're getting all the care you need and have a supportive mum.

School will need to know. They have a duty to protect you. You cannot stop your pregnancy progressing. That is a fact. You will begin to show and it will become more obvious, you also may need to miss school for antenatal appointments and scans.

You'll probably start to really show after 12 weeks, everyone is different. You need to tell the staff at school. I can understand about not telling your friends at first but eventually they will find out and like someone else said, you will be old news very soon.

Get a big bag for school that you can hold over your bump. That should help make it less obvious for a few weeks.

WorryWurta · 18/02/2015 10:53

Well done for telling your mum, that was very brave. When you look pregnant depends on your body- with me it wasn't til 7 months but if you are in school uniform you might not have all the options for disguise. It's great that you are still thinking about your exams too - they'll be in June right so perhaps you will have study leave anyway in the run up? (I'm quite old lol so maybe that doesn't happen anymore!). Keep talking to people in your life that you trust, people on here will advise you as best we can but what you really need is support from those who know you and your situation. It sounds like you have that with your mum and that's a great start. Good luck xx

WrappedInABlankie · 18/02/2015 10:56

It depends if you were already big before you found out like I was, you can get to 23 weeks and just look fatter I still haven't told people so most probably could get a way with it for quite a while.

How much time do you have left at school?

Original poster

Ainsley1999 · 18/02/2015 11:09

Im in 4th year (im scottish) i think thats the same as year 11? Im coming up for 16. I was planning to stay at school to 6th year but dont know if I can now.

My belly has swollen out at the bottom its a weird shape looks kinda pointy. I dunno if i can post a pic on here?

My mum said she will have to make an appointment to speak to my school but i have begged her not to just now. I dont want to tell her that i am worrying about all this because I dont think she really wants me to have a baby but shes saying its my choice.

OP posts:

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 18/02/2015 11:17

You are being very brave. However, if this is what you are worrying about I am slightly concerned that the reality of having the baby hasn't hit home yet. This really is one of the smallest things. Honestly.

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood · 18/02/2015 11:31

Believe it or not, your school will be able to help you. They will need to set up a plan with you and your mum regarding appointments, absences and your exams etc. There is so much they can do to help.

I went to school with a girl who was pregnant in our last year, school went out of the way to make everything as easy and stress free for her as possible.

You do need to talk to your mum about your worries. She's already been through pregnancy and is going to be able to give you advice.

sianihedgehog · 18/02/2015 13:30

You will start to show sometime after 12 weeks. At the moment I'm afraid the belly is basically just gas. I'm nearly 16 weeks, and no one can tell yet, despite the fact that I am relatively slim usually. The bump just looks like you are bloated for long time, it doesn't pop straight out into a cute baby bump.
That said, you still need to tell your school. You don't have to tell your friends, and the school won't tell the other students if you don't want them to. But you will need to miss classes for midwife appointments and scans and baby classes, and you will probably be sick a lot, so they need to know. And people will figure it out eventually, whether it's when they see your bump or your baby.

bettyboop1970 · 18/02/2015 15:57

Bless you, I completely understand why you don't want people to know about your pregnancy, but the school really need to know to keep you safe. I wish you all the best, just because you are having a baby young you can still progress with your education.

Littlemissjt · 18/02/2015 18:03

Your pupil support teacher will help. He or she will inform your teachers only - not pupils. Your teachers knowing is a good thing. I'm also expecting and need the toilet more often. If you're the same it would stop the teacher asking why you keep asking to go to the toilet every period for example.
In terms of you're exams your support for learning department may provide extra support for you, for example you might be able to go there and study rather than go to your pe class. You've only got 6 weeks until Easter and them if your school allows study leave for s4 pupils (ours does if you're doing 4 or more nat 5's) then you'll only be back for a week or two before the exams.
For what it's worth we have a pupil in your situation just now and no one has been nasty to her.

ghostspirit · 18/02/2015 19:41

hi op. its good that your mum know is she supportive toward you? my daughter was pregnant when she was 15. i contacted the school and told them. to make sure she got the support she needed. she miscarried very early. but it was still about getting her the support she needed.

people will find out sooner or later anyway. best to let people know now so you can get the support you need.

Branleuse · 18/02/2015 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mrsdicaprio · 18/02/2015 20:10

Hi Op. You can talk to your teachers confidentially in school and they can support you through your exams ans help you and support you to achieve the best grades without any of the other pupils having to find out!

It's probably best you do do this if you want to still get your exams as your body is about to undertake lots of huge changes and you will need all of the support you can get (not because you're still at school, all pregnant ladies do).

You will need them to understand trips to the toilet and trips to the doctors or midwives or hospital. At some point if you get big you might need them to arrange to send work home to you if you really don't want other pupils finding out. I know it seems like the end of the world them finding out now and it might be really scary but trust me, teachers and school support workers are well prepped for this. They see much more of it than you think and the fact that you might not realise that means that they are very hush and keep things confidential. They have policies in place to support you and the best chance you have of coming out of the next year with good exams is by getting staff at school on board and talking with them and your mum and your doctor and midwife about how to best support you.

What I will say is that it's incredibly difficult to go back and retake these exams later in life. Even only a year or two later. You have to pay for it, there's childcare to think of and nursery fees. You worry if you would pass or not and it's just genuinely much harder and that's coming from someone who was a straight A student at school. So don't let fear of talking to teachers stop you doing it now.
In 5 or 10 years time, you won't care looking back if the other kids commented on you being pregnant or big, I promise you will forget, but you would regret not getting your exams or not trying your best to give yourself the best chance. Only that impacts your life.
Good friends stick around, but even if you weren't pregnant you would probably loose touch with the others anyway, don't let it affect the rest of your life. It's time to be brave .

rosedavo · 18/02/2015 20:13

Well when i was at school a girl was pregnant and think she carried on studying and coped ok, you can do it if you want but make sure youve got support, let your guidance councillors know (they wont tell students) and your mum/dad etc, even if your worried or scared they love you and will just help you through it, as for other students try and ignore them (think about it after school you never have to see them again!) So i wouldnt move school, just brave it and be strong. As for hiding it... best just to come clean and work with it, you cant hide it forever and you will get more support if you dont x

fairgame · 18/02/2015 20:19

You don't have to tell the other pupils at school but you really need to let a teacher know. They need to keep you safe in sports or from getting bumped in the corridors etc. Plus if there is an outbreak of anything like rubella or chicken pox etc then they need to know you are pregnant to keep the baby safe.
There were 2 girls who got pregnant when i was at school. Both of them did exams and managed ok. Everyone was really supportive of them, no nasty comments or anything like that.

berrypicking · 18/02/2015 20:20

branleise - it's her decision and how can you possibly say that? encouraging someone to have a termination when they have said they want to keep the baby is awful.

berrypicking · 18/02/2015 20:21

oh good they deleted the post!

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