45 and pregnant

[totallystunned]

Hi - I posted on AIBU on Friday when I did a positive test. People were so so lovely and supportive.

I've felt sick as a dog all weekend!

My dh and I are so confused, we don't know what to do. We didn't want another baby.

Our boys are 16 and nearly 13. We would likely have to move house and would take a big hit financially. My age is a big worry - so many risks of things going wrong. I wonder if anyone is in the same boat or can offer words of wisdom?

So sorry if this post offends or upsets anyone in any way - I know a pregnancy is a blessing (that's what's so hard)

Glad you're feeling a bit better today - and good luck with whatever decision you make.

I don't have any experience or particularly wise words, I'm afraid [useless], but I wanted to just add a voice to the 'do what's best for you' chorus.

You sound upset but also quite clear, and as though you have real support from your family. I think you will make/have made the right decision FOR YOU, and that's what matters.

Totallystunned: please be kind to yourself, whatever you decide. It's been less than a week since you found out; maybe it's too early for decisions. I imagine your emotions are (understandably) all over the place.

Perhaps nature will decide for you? (Speaking as someone who has had miscarriages in her 40's) Sorry if that sounds awful, or upsets you or anyone else. I'm just projecting, as it would probably be how I would feel now if I got pregnant again. Please feel free to disregard completely if that doesn't help in any way.

PS there is good support on the "Pregnancy Choices" board (under Body & Soul I think).

Just make the decision based on how you feel at this moment in time. Life is full of uncertainties so it needs to be what your instinct is telling you. Be truthful to yourself. There is no easy answer some people never regret their termination others struggle for years afterwards. Only you know yourself how you think you'll feel afterwards. I have been there and know what you're going throw...as have so many others around you xxxxx

*through not throw ( typo) xx

I think you sound like you have come to the decision that is right for your family. You seemed like that was your gut feeling in early days so probably the right one for you.
Our decision was right for us at the time but I did insist on a secction date that was before my 43rd birthday. It just seemed such a monumental age difference to be having another baby, if that makes sense.
Good luck.

The support from all of you has been so helpful and welcome

Lotsofcheese, it certainly doesn't offend me. In some ways that would 'let me off the hook' as it is out of my hands and it's not an unlikely outcome. I'm only 7 weeks after all.

x

Its your call what you do, its only you who will know whats best for you/your situation x

Hi ladies, lovely to hear of your pregnancies in your 40's. Can you tell me (if it's not too personal) if you conceived naturally? I'm 45 and have been off the pill for 18 months but nothing happening. Would love to hear some advice and good news stories as feeling like it may never happen. Not sure where to go from here. Many thanks and sorry to butt in!!

Tryingtobehappy :) probably best if you start your own thread (you'll get loads of advice that way!)

This isn't really the place for anything other than specific support for totallystunned.

Totallystunned you're sounding more and more sure