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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

sex drive...were are you?

13 replies

mum2benicole · 04/02/2015 19:35

Lovely topic im 25weeks with child 2 and cant remember the last time me and partner had sex.
Its not the case of him not wanting to its me I just have no go go about the whole thing, the thought of trying to be close to him with a massive bu,p in the way is just not happening. I want to be able to be romantic and have closeness time with him just dont no why I cant get in the bloody mood.
Any advice greatly appreciated im terrified hes just going to leave me or get fed up of me making excuses argg its so frustrating
Xx

OP posts:
Zsazsabinks · 04/02/2015 19:58

Totally with you on this. I don't enjoy sex for the last few weeks either. Bump in the way (even if you're on top or pillow under your hips or whatever, bump is just a pain). 'Down there' doesn't feel the same as usual, etc.

I'm sure that if you talked to him about this he wouldn't flounce off and leave you, would he? If he did that you've got more problems than just a low sex drive when pregnant!

nippey · 04/02/2015 20:08

I am 20 weeks with first baby and I haven't had any sex drive since week 8! I keep hoping its going to kick in soon, my husband is being great thankfully but I do feel bad for him!

sleepybee · 04/02/2015 20:09

it's just not on my mind right now. I feel too heavy & I'm not very flexible/moving around like granny grey hips so just not feeling attractive at all. I still make time for cuddles & kisses tho Smile

Original poster
mum2benicole · 04/02/2015 20:18

Hehe thanks ladies glad im not the only one I no he wouldn't leave me its just me over thinking I dont no. I just dont feel sexy or attractive at all I love him so much we have been through a lot I just dont remember feeling this way when I was having our daughter. Plus baby is moving around almost all the time so its not a great turn on having a moving tummy while trying to get in the mood.
I did like sex before hope it comes back soon starting to miss it hehe poor daddy xx

OP posts:
Gemzybelle · 04/02/2015 22:42

None here either. Had placenta previa and was advised not to. Placenta has finally moved clear but I'm now far to big and cumbersome. Rolling over in bed requires several movements these days, nevermind anything else Grin

misseskimo · 04/02/2015 23:15

I'm 18wks and not had sex since about 5/6wks! I was really ill and in and out of hospital most of first trimester so sex was last thing on my mind, now this trimester I am totally not interested Sad luckily DH is really understanding, and seems to think this is "normal" not to have sex during pregnancy... doesn't stop me feeling guilty though!

Original poster
mum2benicole · 05/02/2015 09:20

I no its the guilt feeling here to I keep saying that im sorry and hopfuly will get back to normal after baby's born and keep telling him I love him and how im feeling so its all I can do hehe bless him
xx

OP posts:
weelamb123 · 05/02/2015 09:30

Lol me too. I'm 16 weeks and we've only had sex about 4-5 times since we found out. Just not in mood and too tired. I'm quite fortunate that dh is nearly 50 and he isn't really that bothered......lol xxx

leanne963 · 05/02/2015 10:14

mum he will not leave you! Lol I am sure he is looking at you in complete awe that you are growing his child in your body!
I have completely gone off sex, as I have suffered bad cramping and spotting throughout it just doesn't even cross my mind to have sex and even my partner has said 'leanne if we have sex and you start bleeding it will make you worry and I don't want to have sex if I know you are worrying' so we are both on the same page! To some people sex is the most important thing in their relationship but it isn't in ours, we love each other so much we kiss and cuddle every day and he when I questioned him as to whether he is getting frustrated about no sex he was like 'of course I would love to have sex with you but our relationship is so great that just by not having sex isn't going to ruin our relationship'
Plus there are other things I can do for him that doesn't involve actual sex! It's all down to the individual relationship, it hurts when I hear people say 'oh you can't really have passion without sex' cause it makes me feel shitty but I know we have passion in other areas....at least just until I am comfortable to have sex again! I'm 25 weeks on Sunday too!

Original poster
mum2benicole · 05/02/2015 11:25

Thanks so much to you all I talked to hi last night and he said im just being silly which I am a lot hehe and leane your right sex lengthening be all and end all hehe I love cuddling nd kissing when our daughter allows it ofcource shes 17moths old going on 17 haha feeling lots better bout the whole thing thanks again so much xx

OP posts:
littleash789 · 05/02/2015 13:04

Glad it's not just me then! 31 weeks and it's been weeks, I can't get in the mood, and when we do try to do anything I'm so sensitive that what used to be normal touching is now painful!
Poor dh has been very understanding but I still feel like I've been neglecting him!
And so many people go on about how amazing their sex lives were during pregnancy- more lies! Like 'morning' sickness and the mythical second trimester energy burst!

RL20 · 05/02/2015 14:31

Hi everyone I'm currently 29+3 and my sex drive on a scale of 1 to 10 is around a 1!
It doesn't enter my mind at all and I really haven't been in the mood.
My partner usually has a high sex drive but he's in a different job so has been starting slightly earlier and by the time I get back from work were both near enough ready for bed after dinner and he's usually the first to fall sleep.
He has tried and I do feel guilty and on a couple of occasions I've just done it for the sake of it. But is it just me or is it hard to feel the closeness without my partner trying to be too intimate! I do miss the closeness that you get from sex but cuddling would do me just fine right now!

hazel88 · 05/02/2015 15:27

I'm 38w and in the last month things have fizzled out a bit sex wise with DP as I'm just too friggin uncomfortable let alone feeling like a sweaty, exhausted, huffy, veiny wooly mammoth. My DP is so understanding and has been great about it. Where I can I've made an effort 'for him' so he doesn't feel completely neglected!

I don't know about anyone else but I'm so chuffing sick of people telling me 'you won't get any sleep once baby is here!' or how crap my sex life will be once DD arrives. Patronising, extremely irritating and punch-worthy if you ask me Envy but I think it is what you make it and as long as you make an effort for time with your partner your relationship is not doomed! I think most men are very understanding about the temporary situation, try not to worry Smile

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