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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Smoking in pregnancy

16 replies

Number3cometome · 04/02/2015 09:26

Hi all,

I'm going to get flamed and I am full prepared for it!

I am 16 + 3 today, I already have 2 children aged 12 + 7.

When I fell pregnant with DC1 back in 2002, I was a smoker. At the time I didn't really care to quit, and the reason I did was because I received an absolute lecture at the hospital when I went for an xray (broken finger)

I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and more concerned about zapping my child with xrays than the box of 10 i'd already smoked that day.

I walked out of the hospital, screwed up the cigs and haven't smoked since.

Roll on 12 years, outside the antenatal clinic on Monday, there was a lady, must have been 8 months pregnant, smoking.

Ok I thought, it's tough, you don't know what she has been through, what stresses she has on her mind. She's with her OH.

I went and had a cup of tea, came back out, and she was having another cigarette.

I have to admit, I felt shocked. I felt shocked that she was blatantly sitting outside of the antenatal clinic smoking, I felt shocked her OH was not stopping her and I felt shocked that she was doing this right before seeing the midwife.

Why are some people just unable to stop? For me the guilt was enough, possibly not the right reasons, but it worked.
Is there not enough help out there?

I just need to try and quantify in my head why someone would do something that they know is potentially so dangerous to their unborn child and seemingly not care at all?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FeatherFeather11 · 04/02/2015 09:44

Well, addiction is a funny thing, and people handle it differently. One person can do coke once and forget about it, and their friend can do the same thing and get hooked. Same for fags, obviously. It's a drug, no different than heroin and cocaine, except for the fact that it's legal and taxed and the Government makes loads of cash off the back of it.

wawabear · 04/02/2015 10:03

My mum smoked throughout her pregnancy with me - in the late 70s it was considered good for you to reduce stress. However slightly more stressful for me is that I was left with asthma!

It's not just the risks in pregnancy, it's the risk to the child who is in a car with a smoker, or (in my case as a child) in a living room with three chain smokers well into the night. I have always been strictly anti-smoking as a result - however that didn't stop me getting put into detention because my clothes smelled of smoke and the teacher didn't believe I hadn't been smoking!

Personally I think it's selfish. It's an unnecessary risk to take when you don't have to and there is so much support to quit.

Just my opinion as someone who suffered the consequences of a smoking mother.

Original poster

Number3cometome · 04/02/2015 10:41

wawabear I agree, actually I had childhood asthma, both my parents smoked, and I started smoking at age 12.

It certainly all has a knock on effect.

OP posts:

gallicgirl · 04/02/2015 10:51

People hear what they want to hear though. Someone in the grip of nicotine addiction could honestly believe the stress of giving up to be worse for the baby than the chance of placental failure.
I knew someone who was admitted to hospital after her lung collapsed because a hole had worn in it and she still carried on smoking!

fattycow · 04/02/2015 11:28

Some people don't even know why it is dangerous to smoke. I have heard people say "well, the baby will just be a bit smaller". Thankfully her midwife heard her say this and gave her a complete overview of all the risks. She also gave the mum to be a straw and told her to breath through that, to simulate the effects of asthma. That really drove the message home! But I think there are plenty of people who don't know how very bad it is.

Johnogroats · 04/02/2015 11:39

I am with you OP.

I was born in the 70s and mother smoked c20 / day even when pg. she had 2 mc and my DB and I. Fortunately we are in good health. However, she died in her early 50s of cancer.

I am so pleased at how attitudes have changed. I hated those long car journeys with closed windows and a fug.

And the trauma aged about 10 when I became convinced she would get cancer and die...and believed she lived fags more than me and life. Well, 10 years later and that became reality.

Really sad.

Beckahjane · 04/02/2015 12:53

I was 4 and a half months pregnant when I managed to stop,
I had been kicked out by my mum,
lived in a scabby council flat
was working my ass off and at college too
I had family telling me over and over to quit, saying they'd snap my fags etc. etc.
The more I had going on the harder it was to quit, when everyone gave up going on at me, I did pack in the smoking.
I found it difficult to quit. Glad I did but 2 weeks after little on was born I started again due to postnatal depression!
There's sometimes reasons behind things, sometimes it just they genuinely don't give a f**k.

Beckahjane · 04/02/2015 12:57

Just to add, my son is totally healthy.. and I don't smoke around him now. And I don't smoke as much as what I did.
I was told after giving birth that there wasn't hardly a trace that I had ever smoked in my pregnancy..
I was proud and they were too.

Original poster

Number3cometome · 04/02/2015 13:03

Beck- you should be proud, you quit!

My point is, why are some people unable to?

Look how many stresses there are and you still managed to stop.

OP posts:

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 04/02/2015 13:53

I quit as soon as I had my positive, same as last time (until the mc). I've just found out my (estranged, very abusive) mother is very ill, quite likely dying and I've had two in the last few days. Oh and was told today my job will be gone come spring, my stress/anxiety levels are the highest they've been in years. I'm not making excuses, quite frankly the two times I have smoked in the last few days I have done so on autopilot, I know I need to get a grip. Can I swear hands down I won't have another in the next few weeks? Unfortunately I can't, but I will try my very bloody hardest.

geekymommy · 04/02/2015 14:28

In the US, 68.9% of smokers say they want to quit, and 42.7% made an attempt to quit in the past year. The success rates for people who try to quit smoking are not great. 4-7% of people who quit without help are successful, and 25% of people who quit with medical help are successful. A lot of doctors would discourage a pregnant smoker from using drugs or nicotine replacement therapy to help her quit, so the success rate for pregnant smokers who try to quit is probably on the lower end.

Non-pregnant smokers get guilt, too. They probably know that smoking is bad for anyone who they live with. Their friends and relatives may give them guilt about smoking.

Some smokers may not know that smoking during pregnancy is as dangerous as it is. After all, their mothers may have smoked while pregnant, and they're fine.

Some people (pregnant or not) who smoke may be self-medicating for a mental health problem. Some people smoke to alleviate ADD or ADHD symptoms. Some people with anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, or depression smoke to self-medicate. A lot of the medications used for those conditions are risky to use in pregnancy. Some ex-alcoholics smoke instead of drinking. Pregnancy doesn't make ADHD, anxiety, bipolar, or depression just go away for everybody. Sometimes it makes anxiety or depression worse. Obviously it is not a good idea to smoke to self-medicate one of these conditions, but something like that can make it harder to quit.

It's not easy for a lot of people to quit smoking. The woman you saw may easily have tried and failed to quit smoking. The OP did something that a lot of people find impossible. She deserves congratulations.

grocklebox · 04/02/2015 22:40

because they don't want to enough, mainly.

FoxHugs · 05/02/2015 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigCatFace · 05/02/2015 01:27

Oh FFS, this again. For a start, nicotine is one of the most addictive substances on earth. Scare tactics do not work (nor does shame.There's a great quote- You can't hate people for their own good). Its all good saying, "what about the baby?" but unwanted pregnancies aside, a lot of women find pregnancy abstract, it doesn't feel like a baby. It's also a Time of incredible stress and total loss of agency over your own body.

I smoked, I quit, (eventually), I have MH problems, I asked for help and didn't get it, the attitude being my 2 fags a day weren't as harmful as potential relapse. 50% of cigarettes are smoked by people with MH issues. This is institutional and I'm not alone.

www.kcl.ac.uk/ioppn/news/records/2012/November/pregnancy-mental-health-disorders-smoking.aspx

All well and good saying ask for help but the reality is a) judgemental attitudes make you feel too ashamed to and b) you may not get it, especially if you are particularly vulnerable.

SmokeFreeBaby · 11/02/2015 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Aley009 · 11/02/2015 22:25

I would neverrrrr agree or make allowance for anyone smoking when pregnant it's another level or selfish! I smoked for ten years plus, soon as I had even a feeling i may be oregnant I quit and haven't touched a cig since , totally cold turkey with the health of my little one for will power , haven't started again now that he's here either for a smoke free home for him. It repulses me to see women smoke when pregnant

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