issues with wanted homebirth

[bambi07]

Hi all,
Have been wracking my brains with this and I'm getting nowhere so hoping for some wise words from the experts.

I have been planning to have my first baby at my DM's house, where I was born because my house is tiny, with two excitable dogs. DM's house is close, she is a midwife and I feel a close connection to my Dad which feels important to me as he died 11 years ago.
Anyway, these are my reasons for making the choice, plus my mum is very keen too, however there are some negatives that I cant quite work out how to deal with.

Firstly my mum lives with her boyfriend and he can irratate my OH, secondly his son has just moved in too, after his year long affair has been found out (not something I find easy to bite my tongue over, knowing it is actually non of my business)! His two young children also stay over some of the time.

My dilema is that I still want to have the baby at my mums but without asking them all to leave when I'm in labour I cant see how it would work. I want a nice quiet, calm, hypnobirthy homebirth but this isnt likely to happen at my mums is it.

My RL people say I should ask my mum to arrange something but I feel this is an unreasonable request to put on my mum, I think I know that I need to change my plans but looking for other opinions to clarify my thinking. I think my mum will be upset too if I change my plans. I need to plan soon as I'm 37 weeks in 2 days.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Seems to me the first thing is to discuss your concerns with your mum? If she is keen to host the birth I'm sure she will be mindful of having a hectic houseful for the occasion? Perhaps if you don't want to cause any arguments just ask her how she sees it working with so many people involved. It doesn't seem unreasonable to raise concerns about that.

Could you stay at home, get your mum to come over and get someone to take your dogs?

Thank you,
I will have the conversation with my mum and I think my second choice will be my house, so both very good points. Im always very much a people pleaser so need to go into a conversation with a firm grasp on what I want so I dont come away still with concerns. x

You only need one room prepared for the actial birth so can shut everyone out when the time comes ... turfing everyone out of their home for an indefinite amount of time whilst you labour there is a big ask ... It was your home but is now theirs ... but if you can have a room out of all of available space set out they can't really argue can they :)

Could you possibly do a bit of a house switch when the time comes? Son and children stay at yours with dogs and you move in with your Mum.....? Just for the labour even?

Ohh, now that is an idea Zsazsa, might be something I can suggest and Im sure they would like the privacy a bit too. xx