Not enjoying pregnancy. What's normal?

[BeforeIChangeMyMind]

Deep breath... I'm 24 weeks ish and I'm not really enjoying being pregnant. This is no. 2 and it's harder than last time. While I'm looking forward to meeting our baby, pregnancy leaves me feeling either low or neutral. I can and do feel happy about other parts of life. But not enjoying this "magical experience" (as my mum put it) makes me feel wierd.

Why? There's been nothing major and this was a planned baby (hubby probably more keen than me but I was on board with it). But I felt sicker for longer, I'm hating my long commute, pregnant. My mood is unreliable and DS is already being clingy. I don't feel comfortable in my body and I struggle physically. I know from experience that I'm likely to get really big and I'm dreading it. The prospect of giving birth (long and difficult last time) don't fill me with joy?

Question: could this be one of many normal reactions to being pregnant or is it something I need to get help with?

It sounds normal to me but I guess only you can say whether you need some support? You should mention it to your midwife as she is much more likely to be able to guage how you are feeling but you certainly sound tired and a bit worried about the rest of the pregnancy?

I am 33 weeks and haven't "enjoyed" being pregnant at all despite being thrilled that I am if that makes sense? I have had two MC before and this pregnancy started as a twin pregnancy but I lost one at 9 weeks so have found it quite stressful. Trying to balance a full on full time job, two SC's and worrying about whether the pregnancy will go full term dulled some of the "magic" for me!

Good luck

Pregnancy and childbirth fucking suck and anyone who described it as a 'magical experience' to me would be met with a snort of derision.

I understand that there are some women out there who enjoy being pregnant, but with all the health and mobility issues that go with it, and the prospect of childbirth at the end, I'm at a loss as to why. Yay heartburn, hurrah nausea, woohoo exhaustion.

I didn't feel that magic in either of mine. I had really bad 'morning' sickenss with pg 1 so that I only left the house a few times in the first 3-4 months and that was just to get a doctors cert to sign me of work. I had just managed to get over that, and get back to work, where I was beginning to feel a little more positive, when I caught whooping cough which put me out of action for about another 6 weeks. I felt so low after that that I never had the excitement of going shopping for all the new baby stuff or anything. Then the birth was awful - Ds was in SCBU for a week and I needed a blood transfusion.
I figured that pg2 couldn't be so bad. I got the Gp to give e meds for ms, which did work but made me sooo sleepy all the time. DS decided to drop his last nap just as I discovered I was pg so I got no rest during the day. Looking on the bright side, the actual birth was much better
I think the second is always harder because so much revolves around the DCs you already have - it's so much harder just to have a rest etc.
I think it sounds fairly normal to me, but if you are really worried about it, mention it to your MW.

Sounds completely normal I think the pregnancy glow and magical feeling is all a load of bollocks. The fact is you've got this little thing growing inside you taking all your goodness for a long 9 months however healthy you are that is a big strain on your body. We all know we're doing this for a reason to get a beautiful baby at the end but there's nothing wrong with wishing time would pass and it all be over. I can't wait for labour to start I'm quite looking forward to it because I know the pregnancy is coming to an end and my baby will soon be here and I can start to feel human again

I hate it. Often wonder why I've put myself through it for a 5th time!?
I'm so bloody miserable. My body feels totally invaded. But in 14days I'll b getting induced, meeting my lil boy and I'll soon forget this shite time. As long as your not having depressing/dark thoughts I think it's normal how your feeling. Try n keep your chin up. It'll b over soon enough.

Normal. I hope because I'm not enjoying my pregnancy either. I did enjoy being pregnant with ds (13 months), I had a really tiny, neat bump, nearly no symptoms and no baby to look after. This time has been much harder. It's everything you say, sickness, getting big, clingy child and ,of course the fact that now you've actually given birth you know exactly how crap it is (ignorance is bliss with regard to childbirth). Even the good bits, scans, feeling the baby etc are done through a haze of busy, hectic tiredness. Anyone who talks of a magical time are talking bollocks and obviously haven't been up since 5am with a toddler they can barely lug up the stairs.

OP I find all the magic chat a bit cheesy. I did first time too. This is our second and final baby and the pregnancy has been v easy the whole way through. I too feel neutral - don't think it's anything to worth about.

I don't enjoy it either. I'm only 10ish weeks. Long way off until giving birth...I wish it was all over, tbh. I don't understand women who get pregnant again and again and again, and enjoy it?

I am getting heartburn every day, I feel knackered, nauseous, etc. It's not a fun time. The end result is what is keeping me going.

Being pregnant is horrible. It's hard work, you feel rubbish and tired, and the final moments are the hardest of all.

It's easy to look back at "the magical experience" and remember how great it felt to feel baby kicking, and forget the piles and nausea and incontinence.

I'm so glad I'm never ever going to be pregnant ever again :)

Congratulations! :o

I'm 10+4 with a very longed for baby and feel incredibly guilty that I'm not enjoying being pregnant.
I'm elated that we'll have our DC but I wish I could magically jump to August.
I feel ill all day every day, I'm exhausted and emotional. I can't wait for it to be over quite frankly.

Huge thank you for your responses ladies. I'm sorry you're not enjoying your pregnancies either but I no longer feel like the odd one out.

I am never doing this again. It won't last long and the end result will be worth it. Meanwhile, it's Friday - small pleasures.

Good luck everyone :)

PS. That's exactly how I feel Gillian - I'm lucky enough to be carrying a healthy baby so the guilt from not walking around with a big grin on my face has been huge. Then again, it just ISN'T much fun. Am so grateful for healthy baby but I also hate having swollen ankles already!!

Same here. Almost 14 weeks and not feeling glowing, overjoyed or let alone attractive. And I don't find bellies/bumps cute or attractive either and it drives me nuts when anyone (so far it's been only DH and my mom) tried to take a peak at it or let alone touch. Feel like a total bitch sometimes :-)
And my pregnancy was also long anticipated and desired. What the hell is the glow everyone is talking about?

Same here. I'm counting down the days til this is over!! If I'd have felt so crap so often with DS1 he might have stayed an only child.

I think that glow everyone goes on about it actually sweat/grease... Well it is in my case anyway

Me too - almost 10 weeks and miserable. Just spent another Saturday between the bed and the sofa not being able to do anything because of the exhaustion. Probably the same tomorrow. I don't remember it being this bad with my first pregnancy and just hope I don't feel like this throughout, I feel sorry for my poor family having to put up with such a misery.

Long commutes suck too. They suck even more when you're pregnant and parenting a toddler. There are so many other demands on your time and energy.

Pregnancy is different for every woman. In fact, the same woman can feel very different in two different pregnancies. Just because someone else really liked being pregnant doesn't mean you will or should. In your mum's case, there might also be some not wanting to say negative things, as well as some selective memory. She may have had different circumstances when she was pregnant, too- maybe she didn't have a long commute.