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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

To find out the sex or not

39 replies

GoooRooo · 29/01/2015 15:53

I have DS1 who is 2.5. We didn't find out which sex he was until he was born and I loved having the surprise.

Now pregnant with (hopefully - had a MC last year) DC2. I don't want to find out the sex. DH is absolutely adament he does want to find out and I feel a bit mean for stopping him but I absolutely could not let him know and not know myself and I feel like I want a bit of a surprise after the effort of giving birth.

Are you finding out the sex of your baby? Have any of you found out then regretted it?

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Cornberry · 29/01/2015 18:56

OP I'm in a similar position. Think I'd like the surprise but OH wants to know. Would be useful for picking names so im worried I'll cave and then regret it. Seems like that's a pattern - wonder why the dads are more desperate to know?

Smugnogplease · 29/01/2015 19:06

I have found out with all 3 previous dc, this time I really wanted a surprise but dp, and the other children, wanted to know so at my scan I asked the sonographer to write it down for us to decide later. It was so lovely in hindsight, we niggles in bed on Christmas Eve and opened the envelope, the lady had chosen an extra picture of ' down below' and written ' congratulations it's a boy! We opened it together and it was a really nice private moment. I love knowing now and it was a nice boost half way through the pregnancy.
Having found out both ways is say it's nicer to do it alone as during the scan there is not much time for a hug or any emotion. For me it was a nice alternative to waiting till delivery day.
I totally understand those who do wait though:)

Emus · 29/01/2015 20:55

That's a really good idea Smug and one I thought about the other day.

hestialou · 29/01/2015 22:00

Originally I wanted too, but my mum.talked me out of it. To give background fab relationship with parents, very laid back, usually offer advice by weighing up pros and cons, have ever pushed me into decisions, so obviously she feels very strongly on this one! So will keep as a surprise (mum knows best!)

HazelShade · 29/01/2015 22:15

We found out - it was mainly DH's choice. I think maybe dads want to find out as it's a way of feeling more connected for them? I wasn't too fussed either way, but I figured this would be one of the very few things in pregnancy where the dad could have a choice, rather than just being a bystander, and DH wanted to find out.
It was brilliant! I'm now pg with DC2 and he wants to find out again, which I'm totally happy with.

Original poster

GoooRooo · 30/01/2015 09:23

Thanks everyone. I'm still a bit torn but it's a way off yet as I'm only 5+5 so jumping the gun and I've 15 weeks to make my mind up.

OP posts:

knittingirl · 30/01/2015 09:25

We didn't find out with number 1, and won't be with number 2. Just personal preference really - I want to meet the baby all at once, rather than giving myself preconceived ideas about what my son or daughter will be like. Plus, I genuinely don't care whether it's a boy or girl, either will be immense fun. When ds was born they put him quickly on my stomach without looking, then someone (there were a couple of drs and a couple of midwives in the room - ventouse) asked what it was so they had to pick him up again to have a look!

Original poster

GoooRooo · 04/08/2015 18:55

We found out. I had decided not to and at the end of the 20 week scan the sonographer asked if we wanted to know and I couldn't resist.

It's a girl and I'm now 32+1!

OP posts:

Etak15 · 04/08/2015 19:14

I've got 3dd 1ds - In that order, I didn't find out with any of them, I really don't think there is any need to, there are plenty of neutral things and you only need enough for first day or so if you really wanna go straight to the pink and blue, also if you plan to have more than one child it's better if all big purchases ie pram, bedroom things, car seat etc are all gender neutral colours so you don't have to buy them all again and neutral newborn clothes because they don't wear them for long I've used all my things x4!
It's great fun keeping everyone guessing too people couldn't believe I hadn't found out with mine esp after having 3 girls! Even the sonographer at 20wk scan (we had taken the girls with us and we were talking about how we were dying to know but we're not finding out)said 'shall I just have a look for you' ha ha I think he maybe had seen and was dying to share the good news!

cheezypeas · 04/08/2015 19:51

Found out both times. I 'knew' I was having a girl first time before scan confirmed it. Same thing this time, strong girl vibes later confirmed by scan. No regrets at all about finding out. It took nothing away from the birth experience first time am sure it won't this time either.

AdorabeezleWinterpop · 04/08/2015 21:40

I am really torn with this pregnancy. We found out with DD and DS and, as this will be last DC, I am thinking it will be our last chance to have a 'surprise'. However, I did like finding out and we can then prepare the other two by letting them know if they are getting a brother or sister.

Runningupthathill82 · 04/08/2015 22:04

I'm really glad I found out with DS. It was so exciting to be told I was having a boy, and it also gave DH and I extra time to argue over names.

If I hadn't found out at 20 weeks I wouldn't have had the "nice surprise" feeling at all as, when DS was born, I was in too bad a state to be told anything.

Sadly there was too much panic and trauma in the room for any sort of excitement, so I'm glad we got that at the 20-week scan instead.

Laura7010 · 04/08/2015 23:15

We were literally sat waiting for our 20 week scan and still couldn't decide!! In the end I did ask and it was the best thing we did! It was a bit of a shock as we were convinced it was a boy and everyone kept saying it would be. But found out we were having a girl, took a while to sink in. It's let OH bond much more and I like it when he calls her our daughter and not just baby. I'm also glad I could shut EVERYONE up who kept saying I would have a boy!

nightandthelight · 05/08/2015 08:22

We are going to find out as DH is adamant. I would be happy to wait but I know that DH wants to bond with the baby more and thinks that this will help :) I guess it's quite difficult for the dads with no bump etc.

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