problems with hv

[gummybear34]

Hi I've just seen a hv .I'm not happy with her.i felt I had to see her but she had already upset me on the phone.i explained I had a negative birth experience and trouble bonding with ds because of losses but I've build a good bond with him now and the situation is entirely different now as I've already bonded with my baby and as a second time mum I'm very confident in my parenting etc. She didn't listen to me and was very negative .I explained myself and wrote her a letter saying I needed her positively .I she really wound me up but I stayed calm. I said I decided not to breast feed , she said it was best for the baby I said understand that but I've decided not too.i said I have decided to have her in mosses basket then transfer her to her cot she said I could put her in her mosses basket in the cot.she kept saying I could do things differently when I'd already said I was going to do them a certain way .I'm not against advice but I didn't feel she was listening to me last hv just listened a bd didn't do this.dh doesn't understand nor does sil .The whole time stressed me out so much .

And she also said I had to see her by law on day 14.aims said this is incorrect.

I wouldn't take too much notice, you do things how you want as you are the parent.

They are only there for guidance and support but you can complain if you are not happy with the service and ask for another HV.

I would say that you are not b/feeding and do not want to discuss it or mention it again.

Hi Op I dont really like health visitors . I dont intend on seeing mine much if at all . She rang me and said she wouldnt visit during my pregnancy as this is my 3rd babywhich suits me .
Do what you feel comfortable doing , you know your baby best . You dont need the stress . You sound like you know what works for you and your baby .
With my 1st born I listened to hv and wished I hadnt as I spent most of my time beating myself up trying to do everything they said !
Good luck x

She is required to visit you on day 14 - you are not required to let her in
I'd ask to change HV.

It's so nice to have some one who feels similar. Thanks

Occasionally you find a really good hv but they are few and far between. I just play the game these days, say what they want to hear, nod and smile sweetly then do what I want and have been doing for 10 yrs.

Hi Gummy, so sorry to hear you've had a bad experience. I work with HV's (I'm a paediatric nurse), you do not have to see a HV if you don't want to. You can decline, in some areas they make you sign paperwork to say you opt out of the service.
HV are meant to be there to give you advice and explain what guidance is but it is up to you to decide what you want to do with that advice. I can't believe she gave you grief about formula feeding. That's a very old fashioned view and although we are meant to promote breast feeding if a parent is decided on formula feeding we are meant to accept that and not discuss breast feeding any further unless the parent asks for information.
Personally I would call up and explain you would like a different HV, you are well within your rights to. Obviously you can opt out of the service but I think it's a shame you miss out on the support just because of one professional.

Again sorry you had such a bad experience. I work with lots of lovely, kind health visitors. Unfortunately like any profession there are good and bad ones. All the best with your new baby