petrified!

[hullabaloo234]

Hello all

I thought I was doing much better at relaxing in this pregancy but no, clearly I'm not! I had a MC on 1st Sept and fell pregnant again 3 weeks later so currently 19+5. I spent the first 12 weeks terrified it would happen again, but after my dating scan and horrendous morning sickness I started feeling more confident that things would be ok this time.
However, it's my 20 week scan on Monday and I am terrified again. I've not really been sleeping, keep thinking about all the things that could be wrong and I'm driving myself mad I have a 7 year old DD and I look back at how arrogant I was,never thinking for a second that anything could go wrong and long to feel that way again.

Can anyone reassure me with stats etc of how often very serious anomalies are discovered at 20 weeks and, frankly, tell me to get a grip?!

I can't talk to my partner about how stressed I am feeling, having to put on a brave face as he is the type to worry terribly if he thinks I am, and I don't want to project my anxieties onto him.

Thank you in advance for your help xx

There is absolutely no reason every thing won't be okay ... but like you my anxiety has been through the roof so I sympathise!

I don't know that statistics will help you much ... and Dr Google can put the frighteners up the toughest of cookies ... just try and distract yourself until the scan and keep a positive frame of mind ... easier said than done but it's healthier all round for you not to be stressing out :)

Ahh blackwidow I'm sorry to hear ypur suffering anxiety too. Have you had your scan? I know logically there is no reason for it to not be ok, but I can't seem to stop stressing and imagining all kinds of worst possible scenarios. On one hand I just want to get it done and know, on the other I want to pretend it's not happening! So glad now I booked the first appointment of the day so at least I won't have all day Monday to wait and work myself up.
I hope you and your baby are doing well, thank you for taking the time to reply xx

I've had several scans since 6 weeks ... my dating scan and anomaly a an but also booked private scans in between :) it was the only way I could stay reasonable sane! I have a scan next week (28 week growth scan) and another at 36 weeks due to previous problems but all is well so far!! Now my main anxiety comes on the days little lady decides to be quiet and turn in such a way that I don't feel all her movements!! We've been for monitoring once in the last week but all was good ... today is another quiet day but I am seeing movement when not feeling it by placing my phone on my bump and she wriggles underneath it :)

If it's any help I had the same fears before every scan ... was sure something would be wrong ... thankfully I get a reassuring kick in the butt from the inside to rein me in :) good luck Monday and let me know how you go ... mine is Friday at 10.30 :) x

Come over to the posifrickintivity thread - loads of us in the same boat. We totally get it.

Oh, I am just the same! 20wk scan on Tues and petrified things won't be ok. Think I've been feeling the odd flutter but not sure, that's making me more worried as I've felt no definate movements - but is it perhaps still a bit early for your first? So many worries, and I'm sure if all's ok on Tues these worries will be replaced with new ones!

Each year, 700,000 women in the UK get pregnant and only 1800 have terminations because of foetal abnormalities. Of those, a lot are for chromosomal abnormalities that are found well before the 20 week scan. You are vastly more likely to see a healthy baby than anything else. Also, even if you DO see an anomaly, it's very unlikely to be severe. You are much more likely to see a twisted foot (which can be corrected with a brace before baby starts walking) than a severe problem.

If you want some basic stats, here's a report on studies on the outcome of foetal abnormality screening.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK51878/table/ch9.t1/?report=objectonly
I think it's important to remember when looking at those numbers that the VAST majority of those abnormalities are going to be quite minor, and don't mean that your baby will be terribly ill, or permanently disabled. they are things like a cleft lip, or a twisted foot, not awful life changing things!

What your feeling is perfectly normal. I had fertility treatment, a miscarriage and more fertility treatment and the week before each scan I was a mess. I convinced myself that something would be wrong! It hasn't! I've had a wonderful pregnancy and an nearly 38 weeks-can't believe we are actually going to have a baby soon!!

Try not too be to hard on yourself, it's so natural to be worried and nervous, generally everything is ok at the 20 week scan. Hope it goes well and you can start to enjoy your pregnancy xxx

Thank you all so much for your words of reassurance and support, it really does mean a lot! went out for the day with my DP and DD yesterday to keep busy and take my mind off it which was good, going to do the same again today hopefully.
blackwidow- I will be keeping everything crossed for you that all is well and ypu have a great experienceon Friday! Please do let us know how you get on!
Morganlove- I remember with my first I didn't feel discernable,regular movement until 21/22 weeks so perfectly normal, try not to worry (although I know it's easier said than done and given the nature of this thread I sound a total hypocrite lol!) The stats from sian are reassuring, the odds are in our favourfor everythingto be ok. Will be thinking of you Tuesday
happilymarried- oh I'm so pleased for you that everything is going well! Not long to go now and you will have your beautiful baby in your arms
Thank you again everyone, it really has beena comfort reading your comments xxx

Best of luck to those with scans tomorrow - my fingers will be crossed for you. Looking forward to some happy and relived updates from you! x

Best of luck for tomorrow :) x

Thank you! I will let you know how I get on xx

So I've had my scan, baby is healthy, growing perfectly and a little girl! so so so happy and relieved! Feel like I can finally relax and enjoy my pregancy now. Planning a big baby shopping spree for the weekend with DP. he's got a grin as big as mine stuck to his face too Thank you again all. Blackwidow you'll be feeling as happy as I am Friday I just know it xxx

Awwww bless ya and what fab news on being Team Pink :) my little lady has been busting some grooves today just to remind me all is okay in there!! Happy shopping :) all thats pink and fluffy x

Yes team pink haha! such a shame I didn't keep any of DD1's stuff, but will be so much fun replacing everything please do let me know how you get on Friday xx

I surely will ... and I had a huge delivery of nearly new hand me downs today so my shopping spree has been postponed lol ... I won't be needing to buy anything below 3-6 months!! All my daughters stuff is sat in the loft ruined by a 7 year leak and damp so was handy most of those around me have had girls in last year!! X

Oh no! But how nice of your friends to pass their bits on for you! Going to order my bednest tomorrow and then get the pram and make a start on the rest on Saturday

It starts to feel so much more real once baby things appear around you :) although if you are impatient like me you will just want baby here to go in it all x

Haha yes your do right it does! My DP has said I can splurge for the lot at the weekend if I want to so I really can't wait,I'm itching to get shopping haha! He's been reading up on the best prams and car seats etc bless him
morganlovehow did your scan go yesterday? Xx

Had my 28 week growth scan and after a worrying day yesterday of reduced movement I'm happy to report all is well in there ... my little womb raider is approx 2.10lb and has big belly ... cord feed looks great and fluid levels are where they should be too! She's a lot more wriggly today and has gone head down ... now to wait til 32 weeks and see if she follows her big sisters antics and tries to arrive ahead of time! Next grow th scan at 36 weeks!!

Oh fantastic news I'm so pleased for you! So glad to hear she is ok. Fingers crossed she will stay put and not arrive early! have a lovely weekend xx